tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91622358096620745112024-03-17T03:44:01.060-04:00Goodnight, CheeseSharing All the Ups and Downs of Weight LossLeahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.comBlogger122125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-3665378523018881582016-02-18T10:43:00.000-05:002016-02-18T10:43:05.397-05:00My Birthday and Weigh-InThis is a big week. Yesterday I turned 27, and today is my last day of work. Then on Tuesday I start the new job! I thought I would be sadder to leave, but while I will miss my boss and many of the people here, I am just so excited for the new position, and have been waiting so long to leave (over a year), that I'm not upset. This has been a long time coming.<br />
<br />
<br />
I had another good weigh-in - down 1.4! That's 3 pounds for the month, and a total of 11.4 pounds in 12 weeks. I think the last time I lost a pound a week for three months was in college.<br />
<br />
<br />
I was debating a lot how to deal, food-wise, with all these awesome things happening. My birthday was originally going to be a freebie, but then it happened to occur in conjunction with all these other events that were also going to be freebies - namely, the cake and then farewell happy hour for my last week of work. I had assumed they'd be a lot more spread out.<br />
<br />
Also, I realized that I DON'T want to have a whole freebie week. I don't want to get on the scale and see that I erased the progress from the last couple of weeks. It doesn't seem worth it. Therefore, my goal for this week - for my birthday yesterday, for the end-of-work events, and for a relaxed movie/pizza/hangout we're going to have with some friends on Saturday as a birthday party - is just not to gain, and to do my best.<br />
<br />
I was trying to figure out "What can I live with?" "Indulging but not going nuts?" I came up with w birthday meal instead of a birthday all-day-snackfest. Last night we went out to dinner, and I ate fettuccine Alfredo and creme brulee. It was beautiful. But I (mostly) stuck to the plan during the day.<br />
<br />
That's my goal for the next week or so, leaving my old job and starting a new one. There's a lot of wonderful changes going on, but I'm going to try, at least, not to get too caught up in the eating part of it.<br />
<br />
So bring on the cake and drinks, I (kind of) got this!Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-25177007128878492282016-02-10T16:10:00.001-05:002016-02-10T16:10:15.268-05:00The Best News I've Had Since 2014So I must say, this has been a fucking amazing couple of weeks. I suck for not updating, even though I promised to do that - I will keep trying.<br />
<br />
I've mentioned (i.e. complained) on here a couple of times about how I'm trying to find a job in the publishing industry and get out of paralegal work, so I'm thrilled to say that I got one! I'm going to be working in publicity for one of the major publishing companies, starting in a couple of week, and am absolutely ecstatic.<br />
<br />
A good weight update, too: Last week, I was up .2. This week, I was down 1.4, which got me to my first ten pounds! It took me 13 weeks to lose 10 pounds, which is obviously longer than I'd like, but I know that it because of the times when I didn't make good choices.<br />
<br />
I'm still digging Weight Watchers, though sometimes they try a bit too much to be everyone's therapist. Next week will mark 3 months since I started, and I'm hoping to take it to the end. A great perk of the new job is that it's pretty close to my current office, and therefore very close to my current Weight Watchers meeting. I'm really glad; that will make all these giant (but awesome) changes all the more easy.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Share your good news, please!</b>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-65152086210033231552016-01-28T15:24:00.000-05:002016-01-28T16:12:01.622-05:00A Great Weigh In and How Not to Hate Your Body During Weight LossGood news! This week I was down 2 pounds. That puts me at 185.6. The previous week I was up .6, so I lost that plus another pound and a half.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-fP3Fxe6IahJ7Nrt_9eNi-FrcBJ4bBQObu0CbBid8ZzTHcHrYFHQyG9BqdH2cun9_lgvUM4MdAdmPKQhOJmfaHUrWv5Rqk-V7hqa1UHnE7QASZf8nQ8nNF3EHv3J8Ul-LBz7KrInIRh3e/s1600/bonjourchloe.tumblr.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="131" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-fP3Fxe6IahJ7Nrt_9eNi-FrcBJ4bBQObu0CbBid8ZzTHcHrYFHQyG9BqdH2cun9_lgvUM4MdAdmPKQhOJmfaHUrWv5Rqk-V7hqa1UHnE7QASZf8nQ8nNF3EHv3J8Ul-LBz7KrInIRh3e/s320/bonjourchloe.tumblr.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I'm proud. I worked so hard last week to stay on plan, and I did it. I keep learning the lesson that I do much better with routine, and really struggle when not in my regular environment, whether that's vacation in Michigan or visiting my parent's. I'm not sure yet how to deal with that. However, most of life is, thankfully, pretty routine, so if I can get that down well, then those occasional vacation or party struggles won't matter so much.<br />
<br />
Remember when I first started Weight Watchers, and my first weigh-in was 10 pounds above what my home scale was giving me? At the time, I figured a few pounds were because of wearing clothing and weighing in later in the day, and the rest was just the WW scale being off. For a while, I would subtract 10 pounds from every weigh in, and think of that as my real weight.<br />
<br />
No more. There's no point. I'm now down, officially from weight watchers, 8.8 pounds. Maybe I can hit the big 1-0 this week?<br />
<br />
My biggest weight struggle right now is trying not to be, essentially, grossed out by my current body. I know it's not that bad, and I don't look so terrible. But I carry so much of the weight in my stomach and thighs and I hate seeing it in the mirror and realizing that it will be at least several months of hard work before it gets better.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM0kpeDPbNPJWNJfzgX9anJ8l2kwqOT-EtqON724cqs7aDOWSIMO_8GYtgnJtkiEKBBPC1kI7zwpAOHflAsPdsoc_IDOiqzVNWZ3QGig5wWAvfqzrbsD51fP2qdUTqdHXJz1wEbsfKEzYi/s1600/sandra+falling.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM0kpeDPbNPJWNJfzgX9anJ8l2kwqOT-EtqON724cqs7aDOWSIMO_8GYtgnJtkiEKBBPC1kI7zwpAOHflAsPdsoc_IDOiqzVNWZ3QGig5wWAvfqzrbsD51fP2qdUTqdHXJz1wEbsfKEzYi/s1600/sandra+falling.gif" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I know the title of the post makes it sound like I'm offering advice, but really I'm at a loss. I try to appreciate the things my body can do - do endless jumping jacks during our kick-ass Power Dance class, hug the people I love, or just generally give a cozy home to my brain and let me live with all my senses. I try. It's hard when I see my stomach sticking out. When something is too small on my stomach but too loose at my waist.<br />
<br />
Frankly, I don't think I should love this body. It's not a healthy one. I should appreciate it, and probably be nicer when I think about, but I don't have to love it. I just maybe shouldn't hate it.<br />
<br />
<b>What do you LOVE about your body?</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
I do like my eyes (grey-green) and my hair. I also like that even at this weight, I have a shape with a curved waist and hips.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-78450247114607656702016-01-22T12:55:00.000-05:002016-01-22T12:55:16.682-05:00Weigh-Ins and There's Always a StoryI owe you an update.<br />
<br />
Last week, when I weighed in just before getting on a plane to Detroit to visit my mother-in-law, and two good friends who just had a baby, I was even from the week before.<br />
<br />
Confession: In Detroit, I didn't even track. I wasn't stuffing my face like I have in the past, but I was not in a great tracking mindset. It was such a wasted opportunity, since I was able to be in charge of all the cooking - which I love - so I could have made a really WW friendly vacation. Instead I made mac and cheese. Ah well.<br />
<br />
This past week I was up by half a pound, not bad considering what I'd anticipated.<br />
<br />
This week, so far, is going much better. I'm back in the tracking mindset and paying attention to my points.<br />
<br />
I don't know why I've been having such a tough time. However, the difference between this and other times is that I'm still trying, still getting back on track. And there has been progress! I'm still down 7 pounds from when I started, and that's something. I just need to keep going and keep doing the best that I can.<br />
<br />
For any weight loss thing, there's always a success-in-spite-of-it story. "Oh, you gained your first three weeks? I gained my first four weeks, but then I lost 50 pounds and got fit." "This is your 4th time joining Weight Watchers? No worries, I joined 5 times. That fifth time has been continuing for a years now, and I'm well into my maintenance mode."<br />
<br />
That applies to life too. "Oh yeah, that guy switched careers at 45 and he's blissfully happy."<br />
<br />
Why? Because it's not about whatever the "thing" was, it's just because the person didn't give up after it. I imagine 100% of successful people have that. I can be one of them. "Oh you see-sawed for your whole teens and twenties? Me too, but then I finally took it all the way home."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-5165729390086453422016-01-07T11:59:00.000-05:002016-01-07T12:08:06.020-05:00Weight Update and Why I Reject New Year's Resolutions<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First, weight update: On Tuesday I lost the pound gained last week, plus a tiny bit extra! Total is 7.4 pounds down since November 17. Since we’re getting into two months on my Weight Watchers adventure, here is a table of my progress. Sorry for the weird formatting.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-left: -0.75pt;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none;"><colgroup><col width="350"></col><col width="265"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr style="height: 0px;"><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">January 5th 187.0lbs</span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-fdeae034-1cfc-01d5-96f0-5248f63476fd" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-left: 0pt;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none;"><colgroup><col width="196"></col><col width="418"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr style="height: 39px;"><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> December 29th</span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">188.2lbs</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-left: 0pt;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none;"><colgroup><col width="196"></col><col width="418"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr style="height: 0px;"><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> December 15th</span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">188.0lbs</span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 0px;"><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">December 8th</span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">189.0lbs</span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 0px;"><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tuesday, December 1st</span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">190.4lbs</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-left: 0pt;">
<table style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none;"><colgroup><col width="209"></col><col width="405"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr style="height: 0px;"><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tuesday, November 24th</span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">193.2lbs</span></div>
</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 0px;"><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tuesday, November 17th</span></div>
</td><td style="border-bottom: solid #000000 0px; border-left: solid #000000 0px; border-right: solid #000000 0px; border-top: solid #000000 0px; padding: 5px 5px 5px 5px; vertical-align: top;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.7142825000000002; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 12pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">194.4lbs</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Holy crap, do I want to be out of the 180s. The funny (or sad?) thing is that I really could be doing much better. Every week it’s a huge struggle to stay within my daily and weekly points, and I don’t even think I’ve managed to do it once. So if I can lose a pound a week going over, how much better could I do if I really really stuck to it? </span><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe this week can be that week.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Now, onto a super fun topic: New Year’s Resolutions.</b></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhAjADt7ZmfbYwX6Gach1oCPZq2PUNXMvTWTXWyEcZIc8UoVmeY6wvbxs2nJAJPyEhTDr4PbFt9H_xGPFlXOHjtgmzAy5fe-GS9mX4YciePAMxSjNt4Zdg5a2bc6Qjskrv7efdnhyphenhyphenwAKXP/s1600/funny-what-are-your-new-years-resolutions-january-2016.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhAjADt7ZmfbYwX6Gach1oCPZq2PUNXMvTWTXWyEcZIc8UoVmeY6wvbxs2nJAJPyEhTDr4PbFt9H_xGPFlXOHjtgmzAy5fe-GS9mX4YciePAMxSjNt4Zdg5a2bc6Qjskrv7efdnhyphenhyphenwAKXP/s320/funny-what-are-your-new-years-resolutions-january-2016.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Frankly I think New Year’s resolutions are, more often than not, pointless. Almost by default, they’re designed to be fleeting as you lose momentum, and by March it’s hard to remember what the resolution was. Art classes? Learn to ski? Finally hire that hit man for your horrible boss? </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe the trap is that we think a new year will somehow automatically change us.I mean, it’s a new year, we think. It has to, right? But that’s not it. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Change comes from hard fucking work that’s constant effort, and it happens throughout the year. January 1st is not some permission to decide to change something, some unique opening that must be taken advantage of. I joined Weight Watchers the week before Thanksgiving, and I’m so glad I did. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> People can and do change themselves, the date is irrelevant. New Year’s resolutions are the punchlines in sitcoms, gyms and weight loss centers prepare for an influx of people, 95% of whom won’t be there in a few months. It’s a nice idea, a new year and a new you, but it’s lost all meaning.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am trying to make changes, the least of which is weight loss. If people want to learn the guitar, take Spanish lessons, go to the gym, awesome! But I hope they don’t do it for New Year’s, but rather just because they want to, and it </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">happens </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to be New Year’s. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUjG0EEryoGRRqgIzh642WbzEESS3aujYwzmCconD938Ugd63d1otqQjKBb5kPxPDF2Y1k-nupWq7x_XYDhyFN1XIIRq-AWqWQVOLREeaZkiKIcX9dwx3IKNhx922CUE-yMM3BVYKwKtY6/s1600/new-years-resolution-procrastinate-less.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUjG0EEryoGRRqgIzh642WbzEESS3aujYwzmCconD938Ugd63d1otqQjKBb5kPxPDF2Y1k-nupWq7x_XYDhyFN1XIIRq-AWqWQVOLREeaZkiKIcX9dwx3IKNhx922CUE-yMM3BVYKwKtY6/s1600/new-years-resolution-procrastinate-less.gif" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So if someone here stumbled across this blog because they made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight, I hope you know I’m seriously rooting for you. You absolutely rock for trying to get healthier and tackle your weight, and it’s totally possible. But, you know, just do it. Not because it’s January, but because it’s time.</span></div>
Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com86tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-48690584719412746732016-01-04T11:46:00.001-05:002016-01-04T11:46:35.164-05:00Weight Update in 2016I hope everyone had a very happy new year! I celebrated by falling asleep at 8:00 p.m. and waking up to the sounds of someone somewhere outside yelling "Happy New Year!" with the kind of enthusiasm and slurring only a wonderfully drunk person can manage. It was actually really awesome - I got to ring in the new year. Then the first hours of the new year were spent with John on Netflix.<br />
<br />
We had some plans, but I ended up kind of pooping out on them.<br />
<br />
Weight update: I was a pound up last week, which I guess can only be expected given that I was 130 points in the red. Yup, 130 points. Surprisingly easy if you eat junk food. This week so far has been better, so I'm hoping for better results tomorrow.<br />
<br />
<b>How exciting was your New Year's Eve? Did you stay up till midnight?</b>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-85204402905891638312015-12-28T10:56:00.001-05:002015-12-28T16:36:58.785-05:00Weigh-In and A Great Pep TalkLast week I was down another .8, for a total of 7.4 pounds since November 17. That's an average of 1.4 pounds a week! Awesome, though I really can't expect to keep up that pace.<br />
<br />
This week was hard. I don't know what I'm expecting at weigh-in tomorrow, but I would be surprised if I wasn't up.<br />
<br />
I don't even know how to describe this, but this week was hard and I did not do well. Tuesday and Wednesday, and even Thursday were pretty good. I stayed out of my weekly points (saving them for the weekend), went to my double-trouble Power Dance then strength training class with my favorite instructor. I was feeling pretty good.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_aUwu72P_Qi4W72l_rOdnw_3b-9VgvSHf6vBCPBW9tlNVZN0G-B0CYnR_aYMhdWMEJZQbeYqbTeLMCaj19n7WFzFQYXaZstnLd1RV2EThXA0iwiVFtaVkFHGXq-1MSU_o6FL3UKpNe2tX/s1600/GIF-aww-yea-Christopher-Walken-GIF.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_aUwu72P_Qi4W72l_rOdnw_3b-9VgvSHf6vBCPBW9tlNVZN0G-B0CYnR_aYMhdWMEJZQbeYqbTeLMCaj19n7WFzFQYXaZstnLd1RV2EThXA0iwiVFtaVkFHGXq-1MSU_o6FL3UKpNe2tX/s320/GIF-aww-yea-Christopher-Walken-GIF.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Then we went to my parents, and it was like I instantly regressed to that sad, fat little ten-year-old who thought "people be gone from kitchen" was a sign to "eat all things not glued/nailed down." That (the regressing thing) probably didn't help, but it was also that I'm still really not good at having food around, especially sweets, and not eat them, like sweets.<br />
<br />
My parents are awesomely kick-ass, and this was a great weekend where the whole family was together, my two siblings included. That part was pretty great. But I absolutely sucked at the eating. My mom made cookies, and she asked me to make a dessert, and then some neighbors came by with homemade Christmas treats, not to mention the mealtimes themselves. I just really sucked.<br />
<br />
The good news is I just tracked everything I could remember from the last few days. As best I can tell, I'm about 100 points in the negative. Triple-digits. Ugh. It's not as hard as you'd think, because of how many points sugar is - for example, a standard slice of cake with frosting is 25 points. For reference, I get 30 points in an entire DAY. So that 100 points could translate into - WAIT, nope. Just did some Weight Watchers calculator games. That 100 points could easily be an extra 2,000 calories eaten this week.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmJi1Fi2v396OqDwGfKDwotKMSx4rCBLDXi569tH_IsydJzBFPjmQ_DIDU6z0M0WODc2wNCbqm6ZEWtXi6WfPBti4_cpnfdrxJN8chothMwE8v5NVxZJebRF_9UaICKTFJ1ZmnwXV1rEG/s1600/Youve_bested_me_again_you_litt_f4445bf67725df8c3a83d892003d750e.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmJi1Fi2v396OqDwGfKDwotKMSx4rCBLDXi569tH_IsydJzBFPjmQ_DIDU6z0M0WODc2wNCbqm6ZEWtXi6WfPBti4_cpnfdrxJN8chothMwE8v5NVxZJebRF_9UaICKTFJ1ZmnwXV1rEG/s320/Youve_bested_me_again_you_litt_f4445bf67725df8c3a83d892003d750e.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Still my favorite gif.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
So I'm definitely not happy with myself, but I'm trying so hard to just get right back on today, and keep going. That started with tracking everything I could remember. John gave me a great pep talk on the way home from my parents. I definitely hit the lottery with that guy. <b>The gist was just that this, right now, is where a lot of people who end up failing, fail. If I can get back up from this, in six months this weekend can just be a blip on my weight loss chart. Maybe a gain, maybe not, but it won't matter. This can be the beginning of the end, or just a bump on the way to a healthy weight. I get to decide that. </b><br />
<br />
<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>For those who celebrated, how was your Christmas? Merry Christmas!</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>For those who didn't, did you see Star Wars? We did and I thought it was great. (No spoilers)</b>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-20250861114310890312015-12-17T17:14:00.001-05:002015-12-17T17:14:19.190-05:00Weigh In & Holiday Parties<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m down another pound, yes! That brings me to a grand total of 6.4 pounds in 4 weeks, putting my current weight at 188. It’s slightly annoying since I weighed myself at home right before I started Weight Watchers, and it said 184, compared to the 194.4 that Weight Watchers had on their scale. However, I’m trying to go with it, and realize that in the end, those eight or ten pounds don’t really matter.</span></div>
<span id="docs-internal-guid-49c535ea-b1fa-0bd1-037d-cf13092d1f52"><br /><span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m also getting used to the new Weight Watchers plan, how sugar makes the points value of a food skyrocket. I’m definitely off the office candy bowl. There’s also been a few other times where there has been some great treat in the office, and I didn’t give a second thought to not having any. I also realized that I don’t actually need all the honey that comes in my Fage 2% with honey, which brings the points of the yogurt back down to the original 5 points. Progress! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'm feeling pretty in control these last few weeks, which is a wonderful feeling indeed. I can gauge how confident I am in my weight loss by what I daydream about while walking to the subway. Is it showing up svelte to my company's holiday party next near, when (hopefully) they would have not seen my transformation because I finally got a new job? Is it running into my sixth grade crush/bully while he's drunkenly peeing in the street and I look great? Or is it what I'd do with 2, 4, or 6 million dollars? It's all in the daydreams, my friends. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.6667px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>How was your office holiday party? Open-bar-fancy-apps or daytime pre-ordered luncheon?</b></span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-20626826311071575042015-12-14T17:30:00.001-05:002015-12-14T17:30:06.244-05:00Sometimes I Think About What Happens After Goal Weight <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The other day I was reading an <a href="http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-1932-my-penis-became-vagina3B-5-realities-gender-reassignment.html" target="_blank">interview with a transgender woman</a> about her transition, and something in it struck a particular chord with me. Nora lives in the Netherlands, where the state will pay for everything, but there are a tremendous amount of meetings, counseling, therapy, waiting periods, etc, involved in the transition process. Much of these meetings focused on what Nora wanted to do with her life after becoming a woman - everything from hobbies to career goals, to love and friendships. What were her plans, what was her support system?</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-7318aa6c-a298-2a91-7ea2-96d9964a14af" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">She explained, “</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You spend your youth wishing you could live your life as a woman, but once you accomplish that goal, you then have to actually go out and </span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">live your life as a woman</span><span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. That's not the end of a story -- it's the beginning of one.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Obviously my situation is very different from Nora’s, but what she said there really struck me, and I think there can be some interesting parallels. Really, her words can apply to any big accomplishment or event - finishing a game of Risk, getting married, taking that trip, whatever. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> How often does something like this happen? You plan and you work and you try for months or years, and then you finally do it. You’re married, you’re living as your preferred gender, you’ve gotten to your goal weight. Then what? </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">How much time and energy have I spent on my weight? Planning diets, reading tips, staring at the scale, even blogging here? How many of my waking hours are spent thinking about the type and amount of food that will enter my mouth? (Ha, you didn’t think I’d say ‘mouth!)</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That’s something to remember. After I lose all this weight, there will probably be some new clothes and an enormous amount of celebrating and creating before/after jpg that I not-so-secretly hope will go viral. But then eventually life will go on at this new weight. At some point, I might have more people in my life who have only even known me at 140 pounds or whatever than people who remember my 190-pound existence. Isn’t that weird?</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are already people who’ve never known the me that was looking for a post-grad job forever, or the me that was really depressed, or the me that had [opinion] on [controversial topic] that’s now done a 180. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We all keep creating different versions of ourselves, and with each new person that we meet in life, there’s one more person who has no idea who we were before they met us. I found out that a girl I was friendly with was a semi-famous violinist. I’d hung out and talked to her at least 20 times, but had no idea. She had this huge skill, these amazing accomplishments that she’d earned, and I had no clue. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> So I need to remember that maybe someday there will even be people who think I don’t understand what it’s like to be bullied for my weight, because they’ve only even known me as a the supermodel I became later. I guess the older you get, the more that happens. Most of the people in my parents’ lives have only ever known them with kids. Hell, I’VE only ever known my parents as parents, not the clean-shaven law student or the reporter living in a cool apartment. (However, I’m positive that my dad has always made dad jokes.)</span></div>
<br /><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Weight loss will hopefully just be a part of my past someday, just like the months I thought crunchy gelled hair = extreme attractiveness. And it should be. I might always have to think about food a little to maintain, but it won't be like now, where weight loss is high on the priority list. 140-pound Leah will be the new Leah.</span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-30454117946582410002015-12-09T17:21:00.004-05:002015-12-09T17:21:58.455-05:00Weekly Weigh In and Weight Watchers ChangesRemember all that stuff I wrote about Weight Watchers and points? Well, they just changed everything. If you have a TV you might have seen the commercials, and Oprah's smiley face seems to have taken over my app and the WW website.<br />
<br />
They've been having mass technological issues - I unfortunately had several days worth of stuff just kind of disappear. It seems to be back online, and hopefully will be sorted out once everyone is on the new system.<br />
<br />
<b>The point is, last night I was down another 1.4, for a total of 5.4 pounds lost in three weeks! I am really excited at this progress. </b><br />
<br />
So, the changes to Weight Watchers - they've changed how they calculate points. Ten years ago, food points were calculated by calories, fat, and fiber. Five years ago, they changed that to carbohydrates, fat, fiber, and protein. Now, points are calculated by counting calories, sugar, protein, and fat.<br />
<br />
The calories act as the baseline, and then protein can lower points while sugar makes it skyrocket. They're also trying to focus more on whole health, but honestly I'm kind of "eh" about that part.<br />
<br />
The point is that they are really, really, penalizing sugar now. A candy bar that was 7 points is now 12. My standard breakfast, the Fage 2% with honey, jumped from 5 to 9 points! On the other hand, beans, tuna, and chicken breast went down. They adjusted the daily and weekly flexible/anytime points. Mine essentially stayed the same - my dailies went up by one, but my weeklies went down by seven. This is going to be tricky since a lot of food are higher in points now - not just sugar, but dairy - but I'm still on the same amount of points. Fruits and veggies are still free, though!<br />
<br />
Regarding the sugar penalty - I adore sugar, and at first I was really annoyed by the changes. How can Weight Watchers have the whole "lifestyle" and "fitting everything in moderation" shtick if they make the cost of a slice of birthday cake basically prohibitively high? This I soupboxed at John for awhile.<br />
<br />
After a bit of thought, though, I think maybe it could be good for me. I really do struggle with sugar. Maybe this could help me to have fewer treats and appreciate them more. How many times have I grabbed a 40-calorie mini Milky Way from the office candy bowl? A hundred million? How many do I remember, how many did I taste? Zero, probably. In the end it just became a habit. Maybe this will help me stop, when I realize how much it's costing me.<br />
<br />
To my fellow, celebrators, Happy Chanukah! As someone trying to lose weight, I'm super duper pumped about a holiday that revolves around frying things and eating them.<br />
.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-91221067348529604272015-12-03T15:46:00.000-05:002015-12-03T15:46:00.199-05:00Thanksgiving and Happy Updates<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hi everybody. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-a3957dad-6991-3672-ea52-43c09adcf789" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So here's where I left off: Feeling angry at myself for weight gain, frustrated at my lack of motivation, feeling like 20 pounds was just a silly dream, waiting to hear on dream job.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now: </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Didn’t get the dream job, unfortunately. I thought it went great, (and it did!) but there was just someone they liked more, I guess. I’m going to keep trying. </span></div>
</li>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lesson: some industries, like publishing, are really hard to break into.</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Ended up at Target with my mom last week and she helped me find a couple more dresses. My mom has an amazing talent for picking out flattering clothing for anyone. And now I really feel like I have a solid fall/winter wardrobe for work and life.</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Remember how many “new plans” I came up with, and how I ended up stopping each one after, at most, a couple of weeks? The small meals, the trying to track, the fake Whole30, I gave up on all of it. The plus it that it more or less kept my weight the same at about 185, so at least I’m not heavier than I was in the summer. The minus is that it’s now been at least four months since I speed-gained ten pounds and the pounds are still hanging around.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I joined Weight Watchers two weeks ago. I pre-signed up for three months, and told John that whatever happened, I would go to one meeting a week and weigh in for those 12 weeks. And that I would try, of course, but the main commitment is that I’m going to weigh in and attend the weekly meetings they had. I was a member back in 2011-2012 during my senior year of college, where I lost 40 pounds. It was amazing, I felt great, then graduated and life got in the way, this is all <a href="http://www.goodnightcheese.com/2014/04/no-lightbulb-moments-part-two-how-i_8.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">outlined here</span></a>. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, skip to the present, I went back to the program that actually worked for me. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For those not familiar, Weight Watchers is a huge American weight loss company. Food is assigned a number of “points” based on the amount of carbs, fat, protein, and fiber in it, and you get a certain amount of points to “spend” per day on food, plus a weekly extra 49 points that can be spent all at once, one day at a time, or not at all. Anything else? Oh yes, fresh fruits and non-starchy vegetables are zero points, which encourages members to choose them over other things. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I like this plan. It’s flexible and I’ve found that tracking is a good tool for me. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I might add this to the sidebar, but just so everyone knows: I am not being sponsored, and am not affiliated with or ever compensated by Weight Watchers (or any company) in any way.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There happened to be a meeting about 5 minutes from my workplace, so I decided to start there. I was actually really, really emotional and felt like I was holding back tears the entire time. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 700; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They told me I weighed 194. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was like, “What the fuck? Two days ago I weighed 184.” I’m chalking it up to a different scale and weighing in at night with clothes on as opposed to in the morning in just underwear. That being said, I’m just going to say that 194 is my real weight. It helps that my scale is actually broken - I ascertained this fact when it weighed me in at 133.3 pounds, so that will make it all the more easy to just accept this number. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Two weeks ago I weighed 194. Last week - my first week - I was down 1.2. I was disappointed at that result for the first week, but couldn’t really complain as I had gone over my points by a bit. The next week, (so last week), Thanksgiving, I was awesome on plan for a couple of days, then really struggled Thanksgiving weekend. I didn’t go crazy, but I did stop tracking so can’t really be sure what I ate. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I was annoyed at myself, thinking that I’d be two weeks into a diet and actually weigh more than when I started. That’s… not how I want it to go. To my utter shock, I was down 2.8 pounds, for a total of 4 pounds. Assuming that’s a little of the first week catching up, or luck, or even water loss, but I’m not going to question it. Four pounds down. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>So now I'm 'officially' 190. </b>Cue ugh sound.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That being said, I am trying really hard not to slack off on tracking, and to actually work the plan and stay within my points. I do think I ate less in those two weeks and lost weight, but that kind of off-plan guessing won’t work for long. So far this week has been good! I actually feel soothed when I track, and see the little numbers and know I’m where I want to be. It’s a great feeling.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know I’ve been lousy at updating. Sometimes I’m just not sure I have anything to say. However, I make a pinky-Internet-promise swear that I will at least update every Wednesday or Thursday after weigh in and report on my progress. </span></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here we go, week 3!</span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-48403911724567638272015-11-12T17:15:00.001-05:002015-11-16T10:40:34.361-05:00Newer, Bigger Clothes<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">New clothes. New clothes in bigger sizes. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One of the things I did during our recent trip to Philadelphia was buy some new clothing at Macy’s. They were (as always) having a huge sale, plus I had a 30% off coupon and a very old $40 gift card, so I ended up getting 7 business/business casual tops and a pair of pants for just about $115. (As always, I am not getting compensated to write this. I just really love Macy’s. I will definitely accept free stuff though, Macy's!)</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 20.24px;">These last 10-15 pounds from the summer gain seem to have all gone to my stomach and ass, which are definitely both areas that I like to cover as a general rule. But these days, g</span><span style="line-height: 20.24px;">etting dressed in the morning has actually become stressful as I keep trying to find things that look decent instead of terrible for work. I'm not looking to look amazing, just to be wearing simple clothes that do their job and don't make my body actively look worse than it is. Instead, I end up in clothing that I can clearly see is just really unflattering. Not obscene or skintight, just snug and very unflattering. Think the "Is she pregnant or just fat?" fall look.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="line-height: 20.24px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-1f872e5b-fdba-5b2a-1b21-e3591e0db410" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial"; white-space: pre-wrap;">I realized that this was making me feel even worse about myself, and that buying clothes that fit better is not “rewarding” weight gain or encouraging me to gain more, and I don't deserve to wear too snug clothes and feel like I look terrible, not to mention just unprofessional. </span></b><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "arial"; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One of the most popular posts on this site is where I wrote about why</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: blue;"> <a href="http://www.goodnightcheese.com/2014/05/no-need-for-goal-clothes.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">goal weight clothes are pointless</span></a>.</span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> The flip side of that is something I realized over the trip: having clothes that fit is important too. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hate, hate, hate buying clothes in bigger sizes, especially when I have theoretically have a lot of clothes that "should" fit, but what I hate more is always feeling like I just look messy. </span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial"; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, bottom line: I'm still very uncomfortable in my body - working on it, more on that later - but I don't want to feel terrible about myself in the meanwhile. If you're in my shoes too, see if you can spare even $50 to buy a couple of things that you can at least feel okay in.</span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-17861413198559919142015-11-06T12:39:00.002-05:002015-11-16T10:41:52.758-05:00Showing My Face & Philadelphia Highlights (Prisons! Signings!)<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">John and I just got back from our trip to Philadelphia. It was really fun - we basically just let Tripadvisor tell us what we should do and see, and went from there. After some research, we decided to stay in an Airbnb apartment instead of a hotel near the city center, and it was fantastic - saved at least $300, and that’s for more space and a kitchen! Will never stay in a hotel again if I can swing it.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-38459ea6-ddcf-916c-0599-1e84f9364232" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Highlights included:</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Liberty Bell</span></div>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">They also had a really thought-provoking exhibit on slavery, and how its continued existence was in awful and highly hypocritical parallel with the slave-owning founding fathers (like George Washington)</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Independence Hall </span></div>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Birthplace of the US, where the Declaration of Independence was argued, drafted, and signed. (Tours are free!)</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Also the site of National Treasure, a movie I unironically love</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Eastern State Penitentiary </span></div>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A prison that had running water before the White House, this place was fascinating and the exhibits were so well done. You get a set of headphones when you start, and it’s all a self-guided tour and you can just wander around and see the cells, tunnel from the 1945 escape attempt, death row, baseball diamond </span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We learned about how the prison changed over the hundreds of years in which it operated and how it was abandoned/condemned in the 1970s, and finally turned into a museum after two decades of arguments and politics </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Jewish Museum </span></div>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lots of interesting information, but I was hoping for more artifacts and first person accounts (i.e. things you can’t get online or from a textbook)</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Unlimited Bowling at Lucky Strike </span></div>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Not special to Philly, but I wanted to memorialize that we played five games in one evening. Don’t ask for our scores, though.</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 20.24px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBYgIiA8U7XJAgiJgSW7P3tyFat1Hi0B6qr6BtcuFrE85vBKnIm42JUEiOHAgQGUEzab2cNdTkwa2YBs25UX0OY-J00xlxBtQkNPTOU8Ra7rWNxmHYMQvX4rpUJRKxW0dfmo3ifzhyphenhyphenQRwi/s1600/malcolm-in-the-middle-heres-your-damn-strike-bowling-embarrassing-moments.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBYgIiA8U7XJAgiJgSW7P3tyFat1Hi0B6qr6BtcuFrE85vBKnIm42JUEiOHAgQGUEzab2cNdTkwa2YBs25UX0OY-J00xlxBtQkNPTOU8Ra7rWNxmHYMQvX4rpUJRKxW0dfmo3ifzhyphenhyphenQRwi/s1600/malcolm-in-the-middle-heres-your-damn-strike-bowling-embarrassing-moments.gif" /></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "arial";"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 20.24px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We also walked about 25 miles over the time there - that was essentially our mode of transportation. By the end my feet hurt a lot (John was fine, weirdo) but it was overall a great trip, and all just a couple of hours away.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, the burning questions - food and weight. As of Wednesday, I weigh 183.2, which is actually about half a pound down from a month ago. That’s good. On the trip I got a picture of what will make a good "before" or "during" of being at 183 pounds. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Thus, presenting for the first time on this blog, my face. Huge moment, I know. I figured that anyone reading this who knows me would figure it out anyway pretty quickly, so why not? And yes, I wasn't exaggerating about how pale I am.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjhus4lzP0AaI3dwidJk_Rcd1xA6tRSJpmn07qGHsknUD9mJYhOCQyeTABQPv6ysOFa-HkRzpSupplvpDO6inwh1lL1M-YWQy0ze1knaP3GO2iKOY5jBlX08Dm8uey74s8dfpp3tSxEHHR/s1600/Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="328" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjhus4lzP0AaI3dwidJk_Rcd1xA6tRSJpmn07qGHsknUD9mJYhOCQyeTABQPv6ysOFa-HkRzpSupplvpDO6inwh1lL1M-YWQy0ze1knaP3GO2iKOY5jBlX08Dm8uey74s8dfpp3tSxEHHR/s400/Capture.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">With John’s encouragement, I started tracking again on MyFitnessPal during the trip and have now kept it up for the whole week! Baby steps, I know. I’ve mostly abandoned the whole “small meals” thing in favor of this. I didn’t seem to be working for me, or maybe I didn’t give it a fair chance, I’m not sure. I do know that it felt odder than I thought it would to eat basically a snack with my colleagues eating their lunches, and then have 2-3 snacks during the day.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My goal for the trip was just to stay at maintenance level - which, in part thanks to all our walking, I am happy to say I did.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ltYWYwe-11ri6MI6v9UUBd2Bz7dVj8IQZecTo2Q-RokW63aRBZxnA-1AEJvLe6Pp8426YDVztm8PgM1hVfGeFP0NpRLZp8t6rrjJkboA3EL_w4oUA_9QtYj_0BZrfQBTnUtAqmdp0zIZ/s1600/malcolm-in-the-middle-hal-speed-walking.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_ltYWYwe-11ri6MI6v9UUBd2Bz7dVj8IQZecTo2Q-RokW63aRBZxnA-1AEJvLe6Pp8426YDVztm8PgM1hVfGeFP0NpRLZp8t6rrjJkboA3EL_w4oUA_9QtYj_0BZrfQBTnUtAqmdp0zIZ/s1600/malcolm-in-the-middle-hal-speed-walking.gif" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m still really, really struggling with believing in myself. That I can still do this where I’ve failed so many times, regained so much weight, and use food as a comfort, a reward, and a punishment. That all the little bits will add up to weight loss. I’m trying. I know that probably everyone who’s had weight to lose has felt this way, even the people who ultimately succeed. I so badly want to be one of them. For now, I’m working really hard to at least track my food and stay at maintenance level, but I really want to up my game and get back into the 170s. </span></div>
<br />Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-36412129463011854462015-10-27T11:17:00.000-04:002015-11-05T11:08:01.110-05:00When The Scale is Needed<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fair warning: Rambliness ahead.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So the last couple of weeks have been interesting. Was going, doing pretty well for about two weeks. Then PMS’d hard and ate an entire pint of ice cream, then realized that was basically my entire calorie deficit for the previous 10 days. So, yeah. By “interesting,” I mean frustrating. I’ve been struggling now the last few days, with eating well and getting my self-esteem back up from the bottom of the pit it has fallen into. I know if I don’t turn this around, I will be back at 190, then 200, before I know it. That’s not an acceptable path, so I need to turn myself around. I’m trying. It’s hard to keep building back confidence and “I can do this” attitude when I’ve failed so many times.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-81fbf711-a9dc-f65d-f384-c293c81028bd" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I only know one person who has had that classic weight loss story - A Rock Bottom Moment brought on by a boy she likes not liking her back because of her weight, followed by girl going right to grocery store to buy egg whites and lettuce, then home to throw out all the sugar, start working out six days a week and lose 90 pounds in 13 months. Everything is perfect and she finds the confidence she always knew was there, magazines interview her and it turns out she’s a hottie and now her beautiful inner beauty can shine through.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This girl is the only person I’ve even known who actually did change themselves overnight and maintain that loss. The big butt here (not hers anymore) is that she only eats sugar or carbohydrates once a year, and has a very health conscious focused job. That first thing is not something I could maintain. Amazing for her, but I can’t do that, even if it would mean losing all the weight in six months. Right now I’m trying not to gain.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe I’m afraid of trying and failing, maybe I’m just lazy. Who knows what psychological issues I’m hiding? I am getting out the scale tonight - despite the “no scale” month I planned, because I need to face if there’s a gain there. The scale isn’t useful when I’m doing well, when I’m losing, but it becomes a necessary tool when I’m not doing well and need a wake-up call.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So right now, unfortunately, I need the scale. I'm facing whatever it says. Am I totally going back on what I said? Maybe, but I don't think so. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A few years ago, I managed to convince myself that I still weighed my lightest of 160 pounds for a period of months because I just didn’t get on the scale. Denial is a funny thing. I don’t think I’ve put on more than a pound, but whatever it is, I want to know. An electronic bucket of water, if you will. </span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">TL;DR If you’re still reading this, damn, I’m impressed. The bottom line is that this is still really hard, and I’m struggling, but I’m going to keep trying. I do think counting calories is where it’s at. Maybe it’s just as simple as I need to try harder.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tomorrow I will weigh myself and report.</span></div>
Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-33816781011055954332015-10-14T12:41:00.000-04:002015-11-05T11:08:13.238-05:00Weigh In and Continuing with The Plan<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The good: I did not gain any weight over the last six weeks. I lost a little gained a little and it evened out.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-81fbf711-6732-8fdc-8053-039ba011e8d6" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The bad is of course that in July and August I gained between 10 and 15 pounds, putting me at 180-183.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> I also barely worked out. Literally every Jewish holiday fell on a Tuesday night this fall, Tuesday is my night with my gym buddy, where we see the great instructor in the great class where we strength training and power dance for two straight hours. So for basically five out of six weeks I could not go to class and I stupidly or whatever did not make the effort to go a different night. My gym buddy and I both dropped the ball. I'm of course not happy she's struggling, but I'm happy to know someone who understands. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But now all the holidays are over. I know for most people this is kind of the start of the holiday season, but for me it is actually, finally, the end. Thanksgiving might be hard, Hanukkah might be hard, there might be a few holiday parties. But they will either be just one day or one meal in the evening in the middle of a mostly normal workweek. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is quite contrary to the recent Jewish holidays. For those who don't know that means, it means that I don't go to work, I don't use electricity at all, no car, no subway. No writing or drawing. What do we do? Eat, pray, board games, read, walk, nap. Emphasis on eat. I liked spending so much time</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">with family as friends, but I am honesty thrilled to be getting back to a normal schedule. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The last time I tried my eat small meals plan, I did it for j</span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.6; white-space: pre-wrap;">ust four or five days. Then it was part 2 of 7: Jewish holiday edition, and I gave up. Now I need to try again. Yay for maintaining, but at 181.8 pounds as of this morning, that's not even close to good enough. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'm also thinking of getting rid of the scale. Maybe just weigh in once a month, or maybe not at all. Why? I think it's hurt more than helped over the last few years. Because the truth is that if I'm tracking, whether calories or weight watchers points, I </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i>know </i></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">how I'm doing, good or bad. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I was consistently tracking for that year or so, John had helped me make numerous graphs where we overlayed my calorie intake over my weight.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The result? They matched up pretty perfectly. So the point is that the scale won't be telling me anything I don't know. Either it will validate my efforts, efforts of which I'm all too aware. Or, it will show me a gain that I can blame on bloat or "bodies are weird sometimes" syndrome. In fact, perhaps the real times I need the scale are when I'm not tracking, not doing well, so that I don't get into denial about gaining like I'm want to do. </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5999999999999999; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-left: 4pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bottom line is, maybe the scale isn't a useful tool right now. It makes me mad more often than not. As of yesterday morning I'm at 181.8 and 38.7 body fat. I'll decide next month if I feel l</span><span style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.6; white-space: pre-wrap;">ike looking at the scale. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To anyone reading this: I hope you have not given up on me because I have not given up on me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Insert cliche about weight loss being a journey and success being a crazy squiggly line. End with super clever, topical joke.</span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-92078604431969030762015-10-07T17:22:00.000-04:002015-10-07T17:22:16.233-04:00Stuff and Things <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bullet Point Post because I’ve been distracted the last couple of days. I’m waiting to hear back about an amazing job and it feels like applying to college again - just tell me yes or no so I can move on. </span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-addb4e5a-442c-f966-e471-f65fc315aa2e" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The Jewish holiday season is over. I know that for most people, the holiday season hasn’t even started, but for me it’s basically over and I am so, so glad. I would go into it more, but it seems strange to complain about too many days off and too much good food available. </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Looking back, I realized I only did the “small meals” plan for… five days. Then the holiday season started and I had a lot of trouble doing it for the short days in between.</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This morning I weighed in at 183. Some may be bloat or whatever, as it’s about five pounds up from two weeks ago, and there’s no way I was overeating to that degree</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Still, it was really shitty to see that on the scale, and I am feeling sort of desperate to get back to it, to not feeling so uncomfortable in my body</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My gym buddy has also been struggling with eating well the last couple of months. Holidays and other events have kept us from our beloved gym classes, so we’re determined to get back to our regular Sunday and Tuesday classes</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hate waiting to hear back from things. </span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<ul style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s getting colder here, which is wonderful for two main reasons. 1) I can wear long sleeves and pants without feeling like I’m dying of sweat inhalation; and 2) I don’t have to look at women wearing rompers, which I think is one of the dumbest trends in recent history </span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: disc; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Seriously, with the rompers. “Here is an outfit that flatters only the thinnest of people, and forces those who do wear it to sit on the toilet topless because they have to pull the whole thing off.” “Perfect! Make sure they’re all </span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: italic; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">just </span><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">shy of showing off the butt.”</span></div>
</li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 20.24px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 20.24px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Any trends you just do not understand?</b></span></span></div>
Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-3846451248740396722015-09-25T17:30:00.001-04:002015-09-25T17:30:14.380-04:00Weigh In and I Got My Cheese Back<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 18.4px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Weight first: </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 18.4px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Currently at 176.6, which is six pounds down from my August 21st weight of 182.6 and one pound down of my last weigh in, two weeks ago. Not sure of body or muscle fat.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 18.4px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Last week I intended to continue on my no carb/sugar/legumes/dairy plan for the rest of the month. But the idea of that was so, I don’t know, icky, that I realized just how much I wanted to stop doing it. I missed beans on my salad, and milk in my coffee, and nothing in the world will convince me that those things are bad for weight loss. What also happened is that I thought of a better plan for me, one that felt more fitting. Also, how can a blog with this title not have dairy?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2z_25VmbLk0yLh1cAbLheHwjTYvZC-DXjJMTw2VNoCHTr-MHkPN9BS0uVxQwq81cG4PGoiMG-_En4xRwbZoNAgF-2eSN6MhABdl6mpTK_aQKMsxRbPK7kZYTIBThraY2o6PRPUyRX1Gqx/s1600/go-somewhere-where-theres-cheese.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2z_25VmbLk0yLh1cAbLheHwjTYvZC-DXjJMTw2VNoCHTr-MHkPN9BS0uVxQwq81cG4PGoiMG-_En4xRwbZoNAgF-2eSN6MhABdl6mpTK_aQKMsxRbPK7kZYTIBThraY2o6PRPUyRX1Gqx/s1600/go-somewhere-where-theres-cheese.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-80ebbf60-064b-e188-de00-6d30b747b3e5" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My highest weight was 200 pounds, during the first half of college. I’ve written a little about how my parents sat me down, told me they were terrified for my health and that I needed to lose weight. That was a wake-up call that still gets to me, and I think it’s part of why I never got back to 200 pounds again. (Though, full disclosure, I got to 190.)</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Back at sophomore year, I lost those first twenty pounds quite easily. I took the number of calories I wanted to eat - in that case, 1200-1400 - and split them into 200-250 calorie mini meals. Six or seven snack/meals a day, and I lost twenty pounds that semester without feeling hungry or deprived. I aimed to have at least five of those “meals” be healthier and nutrient rich food, and then one or two could be whatever I wanted.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A day might have consisted of a Larabar, a slice of toast with 1 tbsp peanut butter, a cup of homemade black bean soup, a turkey burger patty on a salad, a whole milk latte, and a Milky Way. I didn’t eat enough vegetables back then, but overall I felt great. I’m pretty sure I ate a candy bar every day that semester, and that was a big reason I stuck to it. No need to go off plan to eat something sweet, it was already part of the plan. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ7saNddxqtP9xyn9pjhcHdjWVgtDnJrlLdo7d4V06BDkeaRfTlmtna-fWRN-ImbsqnLd5pXZSzRSbA7abXC3mWMwquzOItWlwFwH-lffELH4_YxSJKtCtpy83AnlZXUgDo3A76Q1dBaWn/s1600/garfield-garlic-onion-anthovy-bad-breath.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="116" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZ7saNddxqtP9xyn9pjhcHdjWVgtDnJrlLdo7d4V06BDkeaRfTlmtna-fWRN-ImbsqnLd5pXZSzRSbA7abXC3mWMwquzOItWlwFwH-lffELH4_YxSJKtCtpy83AnlZXUgDo3A76Q1dBaWn/s400/garfield-garlic-onion-anthovy-bad-breath.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I liked how it broke down the 70 pounds I needed to lose into this little 200-250 calorie slots. It really worked for me. Sometimes I’d end up eating 7 or 8 or these mini-meals, but in that context it didn’t seem like a disaster. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So I’m trying that again now. Sunday was my first day, and so far it’s going pretty well! I’ve been keeping track of everything on the Notes app on my phone, though trying to think of a better system. Six or seven meals a day, ideally maximum only one of junk food, and lots of veggies. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is definitely working better for me than the previous diet, but I think I still needed it for those 2-3 weeks to get out of the “eat everything and then feel like shit” pattern I had been on. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi-2Pdpjw7fXFUAz3Ku2bl3OwF01srmcSHec7q_qkqf_L-y8xTCMHi9y7wkNajE37Aa8hrfJDcdxZxaXVLoj-fd5bWaMzPuZxSfb-cuzoLIVrUrvLEi1uEEMzB0Qh7imvSUxXnRyK_jah6/s1600/cake-rainbows.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgi-2Pdpjw7fXFUAz3Ku2bl3OwF01srmcSHec7q_qkqf_L-y8xTCMHi9y7wkNajE37Aa8hrfJDcdxZxaXVLoj-fd5bWaMzPuZxSfb-cuzoLIVrUrvLEi1uEEMzB0Qh7imvSUxXnRyK_jah6/s1600/cake-rainbows.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, this is it, right? I’ll just lose a perfect pound per week until I hit my goal weight, then I’ll be featured in a few magazines for my new hotness, and life will be perfect? No? Dammit. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-13339544191521609162015-09-18T12:40:00.002-04:002015-09-18T12:40:46.650-04:00The Most Perfect Diet That Ever Was<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Whoa, that’s some pretty bleak stuff down below. Thankfully, I’ve been feeling better. Not “I’m so gonna nail this thing” awesome, but not hopeless like I was. Last night there was a happy hour to send off a departing colleague in style. After a bit of internal debate, I decided not to go. I’m not that close to this person so don’t think she’d care (or possibly notice) if I didn’t show, and I was feeling like the absolute last thing I needed was to be surrounded by tons of drinking and free, fried deliciousness. I definitely don’t want to avoid living and being social for fear of overeating, but last night it just didn’t seem worth it. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUWiwSS9ghTZNz__MIRNXmwfOZ1zmUfN7UbQVIWtPoPPGZN041FTUjXUK43hDgqEE6PQ2V0QswRl3NfLj1zFGP7CmchMMqdwqTe2ctDoH3nDIkwJ4a1sx9jXwpraPLYx5G7dVbyP9cIcNw/s1600/antisocial-parcs-rec-april-ludgate.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUWiwSS9ghTZNz__MIRNXmwfOZ1zmUfN7UbQVIWtPoPPGZN041FTUjXUK43hDgqEE6PQ2V0QswRl3NfLj1zFGP7CmchMMqdwqTe2ctDoH3nDIkwJ4a1sx9jXwpraPLYx5G7dVbyP9cIcNw/s320/antisocial-parcs-rec-april-ludgate.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-e07166e2-e14d-4a6f-1699-ca80570937d7" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My “plan” right now is to keep with what I’ve been doing a little extra, another two weeks or so - the almost Whole30. For after that, I’m still not sure. I have really loved not counting calories, but now I’m wondering if not tracking is a sort of trigger for me. I have an idea of a semi-tracking, to allow myself unlimited veggies, lean meats, legumes, oil, and eggs, and then have limited dairy and starch that I can use how I want throughout the day. Limit sweets, and maybe up the workouts. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I do know that whatever plan I use or try - Weight Watchers, or low carb, or calorie counting - would work. Any reasonable eating plan works if you follow it, I know that. It’s not a matter of finding the “perfect” diet, but of just sticking to SOMETHING. So I need to find that something that will maybe make this a little more doable. Trying to find a plan that is the right combination of flexibility and guidelines that will maybe help me to repair my relationship with food a little. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc0_tI03ONlxkfZ6zTk5IJ9-rg6vvZbK7q5o0gMBQgWFATvT5aH1RQ4v5eURy1jY8Xmxbr35bJ8khxA-tAmzmA_vr3mySu-OSQSbMk9gotUjevZh4rsnwn9Tp5gnt6OIeabX-Y9vnOgmca/s1600/friends-joey-doesnt-share-food.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc0_tI03ONlxkfZ6zTk5IJ9-rg6vvZbK7q5o0gMBQgWFATvT5aH1RQ4v5eURy1jY8Xmxbr35bJ8khxA-tAmzmA_vr3mySu-OSQSbMk9gotUjevZh4rsnwn9Tp5gnt6OIeabX-Y9vnOgmca/s1600/friends-joey-doesnt-share-food.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m also trying really hard to get out of the “just let me lose ten pounds quickly even if not sustainably then I’ll do something more regular.” I really hate these ten pounds. They made such a difference in how I looked and felt when I lost them, even more than the first twenty did, so of course gaining them back made a big difference. But I can do this, I can take them off.</span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-69448441396990025412015-09-16T17:01:00.001-04:002015-09-18T11:24:48.132-04:00Perpetual Dieters <div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Who are these people, the Monica Gellers of real life, who have some kind of rock bottom, aha moment, or whatever we’re calling it these days, and then just go on a diet and live happily ever after? They realize that they weigh more than a baby whale, or more than an adult whale, or something, and then just - do it, somehow? </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I don’t think these people exist. It seems like weight loss is more like 10,000 of those moments. If all it took were one of those moments, then nobody would ever gain any weight back. But based on the real numbers, it seems like, instead, there are millions and millions of people who spend their lives in a perpetual state of trying to lose weight without ever getting closer than 30 pounds to their goals. The thought of that scares me more, frankly, than just accepting my extra weight. To spend my life trying for something that’s totally doable, and actually pretty simple, and constantly failing.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmJi1Fi2v396OqDwGfKDwotKMSx4rCBLDXi569tH_IsydJzBFPjmQ_DIDU6z0M0WODc2wNCbqm6ZEWtXi6WfPBti4_cpnfdrxJN8chothMwE8v5NVxZJebRF_9UaICKTFJ1ZmnwXV1rEG/s1600/Youve_bested_me_again_you_litt_f4445bf67725df8c3a83d892003d750e.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglmJi1Fi2v396OqDwGfKDwotKMSx4rCBLDXi569tH_IsydJzBFPjmQ_DIDU6z0M0WODc2wNCbqm6ZEWtXi6WfPBti4_cpnfdrxJN8chothMwE8v5NVxZJebRF_9UaICKTFJ1ZmnwXV1rEG/s320/Youve_bested_me_again_you_litt_f4445bf67725df8c3a83d892003d750e.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The first and only GIF I've ever made.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">In case it wasn’t completely obvious, I’m… not great. Not going off the rails like a month ago, but really just having zero confidence in myself. Confidence that I’ll lose this weight, that I can have a normal and healthy relationship with food, and the mindset that I deserve any of these things. I mean, I can’t even follow a simple eating plan for a month. One that I made up, no less. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We were at my parent’s for the weekend, and there’s just so much food, so many activities centered around food. The entire Jewish New Year holiday consists of prayers, eating, and napping. Since then, I’ve been kind of plodding along, neither here nor there. I ordered some “my eating plan”-friendly groceries that will arrive tomorrow night. It sucks. I wish I could just get out of my own head, or go to some little room where I receive nutrients via pills and lose twenty pounds in a month. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am trying to be more positive, maybe whine less. Yup, the above WAS me whining less. Scary, I know.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh37687UOVIBudnHbWh78PWFB7DxxSLAYyI-o77OQ-FIWDosaltL4mCgqqYnqtYQaJWFHt-_LKkvHI0L8i2eNwfghfZXmJnFfNPNv40KOnvn8x5yJllgVuj1N_hwsBCyx8zOTKl5As5FCHv/s1600/already-did-something-today.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh37687UOVIBudnHbWh78PWFB7DxxSLAYyI-o77OQ-FIWDosaltL4mCgqqYnqtYQaJWFHt-_LKkvHI0L8i2eNwfghfZXmJnFfNPNv40KOnvn8x5yJllgVuj1N_hwsBCyx8zOTKl5As5FCHv/s320/already-did-something-today.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can try focusing on what I didn’t eat - the things that I would have, without a doubt, eaten if I wasn’t trying to be better. The whole “yes, this isn’t great, but it could/would have been so much worse.”</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m going to start trying to jot down a couple of these every week. I want to remind myself - or anyone reading this - that even when I’m annoyed with my eating slip-ups, I should give myself credit for what I did accomplish. Because usually there is something. Sometimes it seems like a pretty small accomplishment, something that makes you think “Well this isn’t really something to be proud of, this is something that people do all the time without thinking about it.” But what’s hard is different for everybody, therefore there’s nothing wrong with giving credit when you do something that’s hard for you. When I was depressed, I felt like a boss when I woke up before noon on a Sunday. And now, when I sometimes feel like a failure, but then I walk past the candy bowl at work and don’t have any, I think “Wow, I’m fucking amazing. Seriously Leah, this is probably the greatest accomplishment in the history of America.” </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">John and I have been watching Parks & Rec. Yes, the show is over and we’re super late to the party. If you haven’t seen it (no spoilers here), one of the many great characters is Chris Traeger, played by the stunningly beautiful man-god Rob Lowe. He’s a super-de-dooper optimistic person, and manages to be the only person on Earth who misuses the word “literally” and isn’t irritating about it. When someone greets him, he’ll say, “Ah, Ann Perkins and Leslie Knope. You are, literally, my two favorite people in Pawnee.” Or, “That is literally the best idea I’ve ever heard.” </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 20.24px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; line-height: 1.38; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5xmAXQGRBPWO_Ak_Xk_Yy3PvjNDyjZbvoL9asgDSIrOE1TBCqfVyVrvvImvl8Ciie5Fg0Fkdh1ppcbjOdxRD_C5Otgx1TNmOFhGvblK1-XfutDjusZ5OOl_Yw66_lR2KLvobNhQ31XnGK/s1600/parks-rec-chris-traeger-literally.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5xmAXQGRBPWO_Ak_Xk_Yy3PvjNDyjZbvoL9asgDSIrOE1TBCqfVyVrvvImvl8Ciie5Fg0Fkdh1ppcbjOdxRD_C5Otgx1TNmOFhGvblK1-XfutDjusZ5OOl_Yw66_lR2KLvobNhQ31XnGK/s320/parks-rec-chris-traeger-literally.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why isn’t it annoying? I think it’s because he really means it. Chris is so positive, optimistic, and full of life and joy that every new idea really is the best idea to him, every person, at that moment, is truly his favorite person, and when he says that his heart “literally” broke, he probably thinks that it did.</span></div>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know it’s just a TV character.. but still, what an amazing attitude to have. I don’t see why I can’t have the same approach to eating well. So when I bypass the cake at a farewell, and I tell myself, “Look at me, not having cake, how amazing am I?” that’s perfectly fine. I hope that turning down treats won’t always be a cause for my celebrating, and that it will come more naturally. But for now, I will give myself all the positive reinforcement I can get.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_EIrnGwFRZhXVeGnAGjZuuRMbISlCZTnmLcgT2MQXtiodwSptbPFLQQ83EtI9Xs7tXSoM_NuDNAsDDQ5weVDZ1rvEW9C1juADAMdExBN-bAXCr8Y1_sZx6i7uK1SnlSwfYL3ez5G_3M5r/s1600/how-i-met-your-mother-barney-self-mental-five.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_EIrnGwFRZhXVeGnAGjZuuRMbISlCZTnmLcgT2MQXtiodwSptbPFLQQ83EtI9Xs7tXSoM_NuDNAsDDQ5weVDZ1rvEW9C1juADAMdExBN-bAXCr8Y1_sZx6i7uK1SnlSwfYL3ez5G_3M5r/s320/how-i-met-your-mother-barney-self-mental-five.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-69076498215685960612015-09-09T15:23:00.003-04:002015-09-09T15:23:54.746-04:00Results & The Things Everyone Can Agree About<ol style="margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Water is good</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Vegetables are good</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Refined sugar is not great</span></div>
</li>
<li dir="ltr" style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; list-style-type: decimal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Oxygen is important </span></div>
</li>
</ol>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-71f6b6fc-b381-26b2-fc53-229985f9295a" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Those seem to be the only four things that the nutrition community can agree upon. And that’s with the third one being debatable and that fourth one being a joke. So really, there’s only two things we can agree on. Are eggs good? Does butter raise the good kind of cholesterol? Do we need carbs for energy? What minion of Satan marketing executive made up the terms ‘superfood’ and ‘foodie’? Whoever you are, you superfood-curating foodie, I hate you.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi11mAX7KlthOiUyaRZX3aW-CalJ-E49_TJN-kvhiLv1YHOm0-aAr49G2tX7OpkJhoUtDeJNp2qBYof8bBw9zxEEGwrn-IfUQV5sBWfWAZEhZ92rlaLcdolADbMUnYiLu4swv4wJHX6i7ek/s1600/caveman%252Bcartoon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi11mAX7KlthOiUyaRZX3aW-CalJ-E49_TJN-kvhiLv1YHOm0-aAr49G2tX7OpkJhoUtDeJNp2qBYof8bBw9zxEEGwrn-IfUQV5sBWfWAZEhZ92rlaLcdolADbMUnYiLu4swv4wJHX6i7ek/s400/caveman%252Bcartoon.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I found myself back at the lowest and worst junction of weight loss. This is where I’ve completely faced the consequences and results of my recent bout of not caring and subsequent weight gain, and want to do something about it, but haven’t yet started. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is the worst part because before this, I was eating terribly and had gained weight, but didn’t care and/or was in denial, so it was okay in a way. Past this point, I might still feel like crap about the gain, but will have lost a couple of pounds and feel like I’ve really started to do something. But the in-between of these two things? When you’re on the bottom between the twin peaks of weight gain and accomplishment? They suck. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I tried to figure out where to start. I’ve been at this point, even written about it here. Last time, I decided that I needed a slap in the face, to cut out the food groups that I couldn’t control myself around, so that hopefully, eventually, I could come to a middle ground of sustainable weight loss and maintenance. I’ve written about going to the other <a href="http://www.goodnightcheese.com/2015/05/self-sabotage-and-deserving-to-lose.html" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">extreme to find moderation</span></a>. God, that’s depressing to think how I’ve been on this exact pathway. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">In the end, I decided to try a modified kind of Whole30. Why Whole30, a “cleansing health food plan” that I genuinely think is mostly fear-mongering pseudo-science? I’m… not quite sure. It was something that cut out carbs and sweets, the areas where I have the most trouble. It’s really similar to Atkins, except Atkins is a diet and Whole30 is some kind of “reset” that most people end up losing weight on. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On Whole30, you can eat: meat, fish, eggs, vegetables (including potatoes), nuts, oils, and fruits</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That means you’re supposed to cut out: Dairy, legumes (so peanuts too), grains, soy, sugar in any form except fruit, and alcohol. I might be missing some stuff for the 30-day plan, but that’s the gist of it. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m not following it perfectly - I’m still having a teaspoon of sugar in my coffee, and haven’t cut out soy sauce. But other than that, it's been good. I'm eating a lot of meat and vegetables, mostly. The hardest part has been breakfast. I don't think I'll ever be able to face meat for breakfast, so it's either eggs in some form, or a banana with almond butter. I miss my yogurt.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9nmXAzMXVMWXTSGiT1Pyd57Mb3L07_yD8q5dxhOiafJTjhRXRog_D3TpibyJkKPt0gtzsH_2RXqvlRqtif3AabPO2ZoJrpbIw30IOD_66VkEa561Mb8Gk3t6_f7uiakDYXQDPnY-_EVGw/s1600/parks_rec_soda_leslie_knope.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="167" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9nmXAzMXVMWXTSGiT1Pyd57Mb3L07_yD8q5dxhOiafJTjhRXRog_D3TpibyJkKPt0gtzsH_2RXqvlRqtif3AabPO2ZoJrpbIw30IOD_66VkEa561Mb8Gk3t6_f7uiakDYXQDPnY-_EVGw/s400/parks_rec_soda_leslie_knope.gif" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">How they see my sugar consumption, I assume.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">This weekend wasn't great though. I had some sweets at a wedding and then some more crap at a BBQ we went to yesterday. I was angry at myself, trying to remember that </span><a href="http://www.goodnightcheese.com/2014/03/the-most-important-weight-loss-tip-i.html" style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;" target="_blank"><span style="color: blue;">guilt is useless</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">, and focus on 1) how I’ve been doing pretty great otherwise and 2) It would have been 10x worse. So far it's mostly working.</span><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have just under two weeks left, and I’ve really been digging this whole not-tracking thing. I’ve know I’ve spouted tracking as my personal good path to weight loss, but at this point I like cutting out some foods more than tracking all of them.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Weight update: </span></div>
<br />
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" dir="ltr" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid #ccc; font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; table-layout: fixed;"><colgroup><col width="89"></col><col width="43"></col><col width="77"></col><col width="48"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Start"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">Start</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"2 Weeks"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">2 Weeks</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Change"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">Change</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Weight"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Weight</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,182.6]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">182.6</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,177.6]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">177.6</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">5</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 14px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Lbs. Fat"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Lbs. Fat</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,70.9]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">70.9</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,68]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">68</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,2.9]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">2.9</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 31px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Lbs. Muscle "]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Lbs. Muscle </td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Unsure"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">Unsure</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,63.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 110%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">63.8</td><td style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">A cool five pounds in two weeks! I’m really pleased with that, which is a weird feeling since it’s overlaid with enormous annoyance that I’m back in the 170s. But moving on, and down.</span>Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-12588552576308451222015-09-03T19:11:00.002-04:002015-09-03T19:11:27.624-04:00NBD, Just On a Classic Blogger Weight Gaincation <div dir="ltr" id="docs-internal-guid-7b07291f-9571-abe8-f6de-82c10de59a1b" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Hi. How does this usually work? Do I explain that I’ve been just so busy with my super duper busy life, gained between three and forty-three pounds, but now I’m back on day three of “The New You Diet”</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 8px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">TM</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> and totesOMG ready to do this again this time it will stick I’m so motivated?</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The truth is, I’m not even sure what happened. I ate like it was going out of style through July and most of August. It wasn’t like freshman year of college, when I got to 200 pounds by eating unhealthy foods at mealtimes and just refusing to think how many calories I was consuming or how my clothes weren’t fitting. It was more like, “What have I eaten today that’s at least 90% empty calories? A cookie? That’s not enough, I need half a pizza!”</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">On June 25, the last time I posted here, I weighed just under 170 pounds. That was already a couple of pounds gained. In general, I was frustrated and struggling to eat well. </span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> On July 20, I weighed 172.2. A couple of pounds up from June, but not too terrible. But on August 20th I weighed 182.6. I gained ten pounds in a month. The “in one month” scares me a lot more than the “ten pounds” part. It terrifies me. To have gained that much weight in a month, I would have had to eat an extra 1100 calories per day. That’s scary. And impressive in a horrible kind of way. </span></div>
<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihbYSGf8___gG0LqMEmprZKJyhgH3jhgwN6ORZitzGUafW1ipp5bCblaL3VKPNxYGmDR1rQNV6THmt9D5HZA2h-jgBvg8L70dRckxTuDw6FcTNOtvLi9dGmBNveUF0V2mgbYmLBpKKJ-ms/s1600/tumblr_msq899Fsw91sc0at9o1_500.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihbYSGf8___gG0LqMEmprZKJyhgH3jhgwN6ORZitzGUafW1ipp5bCblaL3VKPNxYGmDR1rQNV6THmt9D5HZA2h-jgBvg8L70dRckxTuDw6FcTNOtvLi9dGmBNveUF0V2mgbYmLBpKKJ-ms/s320/tumblr_msq899Fsw91sc0at9o1_500.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">On the other hand, it was actually pretty easy. A piece of cake and a muffin together have about 1000 calories. So do two slices of pizza, or a proper burrito. A couple of calorie-bomb snacks or a couple extra slices turns an okay maintenance day into a ⅓ pound gain. It’s so, so easy to gain weight. Lesson for maintenance. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> I keep thinking about the few people I know, or know of, who’ve lost weight and kept it off for at least a few years. There’s a girl I went to camp with, who lost something like 75 pounds when she was 22. She maintains her weight by only eating carbohydrates or sugar on her birthday, having a healthy living focused job about which she constantly updates on all available forms of social media, and by posting at least three weight/food related articles per week on facebook. I’m assuming that last part is required by her diet, but who knows. There’s my old college roommate, who averaged a pound or two lost per month… for all four years of school. He graduated two years ago, and still looks great. There’s my sister, who lost about 20-25 pounds a few years ago and has since been paranoid about gaining it back, watching her food intake with a diligence I thought was reserved for middle-aged Hollywood actresses trying to stay fuckable. (Please watch Amy Schumer’s amazing sketch on this.) </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqwVVUVjX4-kKEyZYcNOG1yB7-9DPXcohpJ-ShegynQ7ApQJSZ9bal_LoGuHdQQ3gNdd-1pcqpRTCordBlqHymfD-O7gGO9Inhsb6V24nRc0ZJb8XLPNp3lldysyra-UxKPpNgPnDQ7ied/s1600/maxresdefault.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqwVVUVjX4-kKEyZYcNOG1yB7-9DPXcohpJ-ShegynQ7ApQJSZ9bal_LoGuHdQQ3gNdd-1pcqpRTCordBlqHymfD-O7gGO9Inhsb6V24nRc0ZJb8XLPNp3lldysyra-UxKPpNgPnDQ7ied/s320/maxresdefault.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">And as much as I’m mocking some of them them, the truth is that I’m jealous. Jealous that they’ve gotten to a place that seems impossible for me. I’m also wondering if it’s possible to maintain weight loss without being crazy diligent or restrictive forever. Can I ever have a normal relationship with food? I know, technically, it’s not impossible. My body can go down in fat just like anybody elses. And it HAS. I have. Lately though, I’ve felt doomed to the same shitty pattern. It’s not good for my body, my heart, or my health. Maybe I’m finally starting to face what every weight loser, dietician, and lose-now-book-of-the-month laments: You need to fix your relationship with food, how you see it and how you relate to it, in order to make any real or lasting changes. I think - I hope - I can do that.</span></div>
<br /><div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I feel like I should mention, in the end of a post whining about how eating less is hard, that my grandfather died on July 30. My father’s father, my genius, stubborn, witty, generous, insisting on buying peanuts for the squirrels, showing me the mint that grew by their house, WWII veteran Grandpa, who worked at his business until the age of 81 (ten years ago), and only stopped because he had a stroke. He and my grandmother were part of every Memorial Day, Labor Day, July Fourth, Thanksgiving, graduation, and Jewish holiday. My family is tiny - I don’t actually have any first cousins or aunts - and his death has left a shitty void where an awesome, sarcastic old man used to be. </span></div>
<br />
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I don’t know if this belongs here, and I draw the line at these paragraphs because, in the end, this is a weight loss blog and I prefer to mourn with the people who knew him. However, I miss him so tremendously and it feels wrong to not mention him when writing anything about the last couple of months. </span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I’m in a much better place than I was a few weeks ago, which is good. This time I’m turning it around at 180 pounds. Last year I had to get to 190 before I woke up. I’ll come back soon with what I’m doing to undo this damage, but for now I wanted to check in and say hi. </span><br />
Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-34169959530551225572015-06-26T11:27:00.002-04:002015-06-26T11:27:33.969-04:00This Weigh In Brought to You by Mozzarella SticksHappy Friday!<br />
<br />
I am typing this from home as I took the day off to give John and myself enough time to get to D.C. today. I think I mentioned this, but this weekend we'll be attending the wedding of one of his old friends, so I get the interesting prospect of attending a wedding where I know neither the bride nor the groom. Another perk is that I get to see some college friends over the weekend, most of whom I haven't seen in years.<br />
<br />
The goal I set out for myself last week was to track. It was a small goal, just focusing on this week. I think it would have been too much to make a goal of "start tracking today and then continue until you die or they invent some kind of autocounter."<br />
<br />
I'm happy to say that I have been tracking this week! Even when I ate, dear God, NINE mozzarella sticks last night at our office happy hour for a departing colleague. Aside from last night, I've been eating at a good deficit this week overall.<br />
<br />
This week's weigh-in:<br />
<br />
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" dir="ltr" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid #ccc; font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; table-layout: fixed;"><colgroup><col width="89"></col><col width="43"></col><col width="45"></col><col width="48"></col><col width="40"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Start"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Start</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,41798]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">6/8</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,41870]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">8/19</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,41941]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">10/29</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42004]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">12/31</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42032]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">1/28</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42094]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">3/31</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42115]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">4/21</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42129]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">5/5</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42136]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">5/12</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42162]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">6/7</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42173]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">6/18</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42179]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">6/24</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Weight"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Weight</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,200]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">200</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,191.2]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">191.2</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,182.6]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">182.6</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,181.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">181.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,177.2]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">177.2</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,174.6]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">174.6</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,168.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">168.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,170.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">170.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,172.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">172.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,171.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">171.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,174.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">174.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,169.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">169.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,169.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">169.8</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Lbs. Fat"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Lbs. Fat</td><td style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,82.7]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">82.7</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,72.5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">72.5</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,70.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">70.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,67.1]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">67.1</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,65.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">65.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,60.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">60.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,61.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">61.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,63.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">63.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,60.9]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">60.9</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,65]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">65</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,60.5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">60.5</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,61]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">61</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Lbs. Muscle "]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Lbs. Muscle </td><td style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,67.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">67.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,66.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">66.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,67.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">67.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,63.9]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">63.9</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,64.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">64.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,61.5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">61.5</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,65]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">65</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,64]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">64</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,64.2]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">64.2</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,65.1]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">65.1</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,62.5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">62.5</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,59.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">59.4</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><div>
Aw, man, was hoping for something better. Keep in mind this weigh-in was before my private fried cheese party. But it's exactly the same as last week, except more fat and less muscle. Fail. Maybe the weekend before I started tracking was worse than I thought, or maybe it's one of another million factors. Either way, I need to work really hard this weekend not to go overboard. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Even though I can see and feel that my waist has gotten smaller in the last couple of months, I still feel like I haven't made progress in months. My failure is consistency. I can be great for a few days, but those one or two crappy ones really throw me off. I need to be better, or learn how, to incorporate reasonable choices into those difficult food-moments - happy hours, weddings, and parties. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Slow and steady wins the race, right? </div>
Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-63593686641770386692015-06-21T23:28:00.002-04:002015-06-21T23:28:35.069-04:00Weigh In and a Leaner, Meaner LeahLife has been a bit busier around here. In terms of food, I would say I'm doing okay. That's the best I can describe. Not feeling out of control, not being tempted to eat a burrito for a second breakfast, but probably not doing as well as I can.<br />
<br />
My most recent weigh-in:<br />
<br />
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" dir="ltr" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid #ccc; font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; table-layout: fixed;"><colgroup><col width="89"></col><col width="43"></col><col width="45"></col><col width="48"></col><col width="40"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col><col width="42"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Start"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Start</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,41798]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">6/8</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,41870]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">8/19</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,41941]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">10/29</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42004]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">12/31</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42032]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">1/28</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42094]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">3/31</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42115]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">4/21</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42129]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">5/5</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42136]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">5/12</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42162]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">6/7</td><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,7,"M/d",1]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42173]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">6/18</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Weight"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Weight</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,200]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">200</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,191.2]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">191.2</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,182.6]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">182.6</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,181.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">181.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,177.2]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">177.2</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,174.6]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">174.6</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,168.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">168.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,170.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">170.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,172.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">172.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,171.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">171.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,174.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">174.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,169.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">169.8</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Lbs. Fat"]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Lbs. Fat</td><td style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,82.7]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">82.7</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,72.5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">72.5</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,70.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">70.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,67.1]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">67.1</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,65.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">65.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,60.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">60.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,61.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">61.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,63.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">63.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,60.9]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">60.9</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,65]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">65</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,60.5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">60.5</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Lbs. Muscle "]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">Lbs. Muscle </td><td style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,67.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">67.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,66.8]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">66.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,67.3]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">67.3</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,63.9]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">63.9</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,64.4]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">64.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,61.5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">61.5</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,65]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">65</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,64]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">64</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,64.2]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">64.2</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,65.1]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">65.1</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,62.5]" style="font-family: times new roman,serif; font-size: 120%; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom; vertical-align: middle;">62.5</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Woot! Back in the 160s - barely, but it counts. Now to just keep that trend going. Also, holy shit on apparently gaining and losing five solid pounds of fat. I'm assuming that's not quite accurate, but at the very least it shows how much I backtracked over those few weeks.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguajjQS504nxYy8-Nt8ssvET_o4jiW2-TUYGVCdzIdNCaS7Uw8BUbkrhSOmKvO4-E29AU1g-1_NfIrXv9rhwjSz2GncK1tKaPgnDM-DDNxc0w8ZZa2bStwjKispV00LGwy8xk2tzLLcTQI/s1600/potter-puppet-pals-teenager-angst.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguajjQS504nxYy8-Nt8ssvET_o4jiW2-TUYGVCdzIdNCaS7Uw8BUbkrhSOmKvO4-E29AU1g-1_NfIrXv9rhwjSz2GncK1tKaPgnDM-DDNxc0w8ZZa2bStwjKispV00LGwy8xk2tzLLcTQI/s320/potter-puppet-pals-teenager-angst.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Some other highlights:<br />
<br />
- At my Total Body Conditioning Class this week, the instructor told me that he saw a great difference in my body, and that it was inspiring for him to see someone doing that. I gotta say, that made my night. Since I've started taking his class, I've lost maybe a few pounds at most, but it seems that I'm still getting leaner!<br />
<br />
- I've been the worst at bringing lunch. Not so terrible for calories, actually, since in midtown Manhattan, by law every third lunch place must be exclusively salads. However, it's very bad for my wallet.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDwVoOa7Li12B5Jv1ZLxFIeLb3x58OTLSRgIQgxhtZ62rMYaFoUNGTp_svLhlzftbe3G-BneDORuYxG8Ics9xpF-mM7qSaaPK8wCGq4JUos4f0UwHKUghs7mM5zEawY9Rrl5sBiu32bGy/s1600/badass-kale-tweets-twitter-funny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDwVoOa7Li12B5Jv1ZLxFIeLb3x58OTLSRgIQgxhtZ62rMYaFoUNGTp_svLhlzftbe3G-BneDORuYxG8Ics9xpF-mM7qSaaPK8wCGq4JUos4f0UwHKUghs7mM5zEawY9Rrl5sBiu32bGy/s320/badass-kale-tweets-twitter-funny.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
- Next weekend John and I are going to an out-of-town wedding of a friend of his from high school. I've been to maybe 10 weddings in my adult life, but this will be the first one where I don't know the bride or the groom, let alone any of the guests. Should be interesting.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsiraJluTseQhx479Qxjigw-ezb-YA7oU3UVbXta5GwtW8KS07FfEKajyoFCUMqzltRJ3ShF4Dty1fuey1yAmgs6-m6B6WMoRd-rbcdFznAQKHKocR_Yc7MlM1t1wgTfLRr6J7D1l-qQD/s1600/chandler-bing-dancing-to-single-ladies-beyonce-friends-awkward.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUsiraJluTseQhx479Qxjigw-ezb-YA7oU3UVbXta5GwtW8KS07FfEKajyoFCUMqzltRJ3ShF4Dty1fuey1yAmgs6-m6B6WMoRd-rbcdFznAQKHKocR_Yc7MlM1t1wgTfLRr6J7D1l-qQD/s320/chandler-bing-dancing-to-single-ladies-beyonce-friends-awkward.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Guess which one I am?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<br />
Number One Goal for this week: TRACK my food. My weight is down, so I must be doing something right, but I know that I'm not in a sustainable weight loss mode - plus, I'd like to lose a little faster. I need accountability, I need numbers and statistics so that I can make graphs.Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-14847987772069090932015-06-12T12:07:00.001-04:002015-06-13T23:33:38.031-04:00Weight Loss - One Year Later<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> As of a couple of days ago, it’s been a year since I first started this journey. I technically started back in February 2014, but after losing little to no weight for four or five months, I looked at my Myfitnesspal tracker sometime last June and realized that I was eating a lot more than I thought. So I switched it up and got more careful.</span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-d006dc78-e86a-8280-8d62-c762e59f012b" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; line-height: 20.2399997711182px;"> </span>Thus I think of June as my real “anniversary.” Despite certain weeks and even months during this year when I didn’t give a crap, and/or wasn’t eating well, I still think of this year as one coherent time of attempted weight loss. This is mostly because I never stopped, in my weird way, caring. Even when I didn’t give a crap, I did. I may also be biased because I hate the concept of “restarting on Monday” or similar second-chance plans. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; line-height: 20.2399997711182px;"> </span>So, one year later, what have I done? </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<table border="1" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" dir="ltr" style="border-collapse: collapse; border: 1px solid #ccc; font-family: arial,sans,sans-serif; font-size: 13px; table-layout: fixed;"><colgroup><col width="71"></col><col width="66"></col><col width="52"></col><col width="66"></col><col width="69"></col><col width="86"></col></colgroup><tbody>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; vertical-align: bottom;"></td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Weight"]" style="font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">Weight</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"% Fat"]" style="font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">% Fat</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"% Muscle"]" style="font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">% Muscle</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Lbs Fat"]" style="font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">Lbs Fat</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Lbs Muscle "]" style="font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">Lbs Muscle </td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,5]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,41798]" style="font-size: 100%; font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">6/8/2014</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,191.2]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">191.2</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42.8]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">42.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,34.8]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">34.8</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,82.7]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">82.7</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,67.3]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">67.3</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-numberformat="[null,5]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,42164]" style="font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">6/9/2015</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,173.4]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">173.4</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,36.6]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">36.6</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,36.7]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">36.7</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,63.5]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">63.5</td><td data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,63.3]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">63.3</td></tr>
<tr style="height: 17px;"><td data-sheets-value="[null,2,"Difference "]" style="font-weight: bold; padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">Difference </td><td data-sheets-formula="=R[-2]C[0]-R[-1]C[0]" data-sheets-numberformat="[null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,17.799999999999983]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">17.8</td><td data-sheets-formula="=R[-2]C[0]-R[-1]C[0]" data-sheets-numberformat="[null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,6.199999999999996]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">6.2</td><td data-sheets-formula="=R[-2]C[0]-R[-1]C[0]" data-sheets-numberformat="[null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,-1.9000000000000057]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">-1.9</td><td data-sheets-formula="=R[-2]C[0]-R[-1]C[0]" data-sheets-numberformat="[null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,19.200000000000003]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">19.2</td><td data-sheets-formula="=R[-2]C[0]-R[-1]C[0]" data-sheets-numberformat="[null,0]" data-sheets-value="[null,3,null,4]" style="padding: 0px 3px 0px 3px; text-align: center; vertical-align: bottom;">4</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; line-height: 20.2399997711182px;"> </span>In twelve months, I’ve lost just under twenty pounds of fat and also lost a few pounds of muscle. Percentage-wise, though, I’ve actually </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">gained</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> muscle.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; line-height: 20.2399997711182px;"> </span>If you told me a year ago that I’d lose twenty pounds over the next twelve months, I’d have been extremely disappointed and pissed. And it’s true, I really did want more from this year, and the “could have” and “should have” are dancing around my head. But twenty pounds is still twenty pounds, and even if it takes me a full additional year to lose another twenty, I’ll still make it eventually, right? Yes, it could have been forty or fifty, maybe it should have been, but I’ve realized that I could have just as easily ended the year with an extra twenty pounds. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> It’s just so, so easy to be disappointed because I know I could have done so much better, but I know I still need to remember that it’s still progress - great progress, because virtually all the weight lost was pure fat - and that I should be proud of that. </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVxA-94F4m1ZJZ42fwzs7fUTSGpcdZxewUa9wCKiuo_sbTyRU6EA09r3akKdj2SW68cMAggOdZCLmZtaKOnxB4D4rlO3Lhr0IPcsTT0gBJCGaW7JwZWSU52F6Pl_A1PYWjXfAvDKS5HfeK/s1600/dealing-with-mistakes-the-past-life-advice.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVxA-94F4m1ZJZ42fwzs7fUTSGpcdZxewUa9wCKiuo_sbTyRU6EA09r3akKdj2SW68cMAggOdZCLmZtaKOnxB4D4rlO3Lhr0IPcsTT0gBJCGaW7JwZWSU52F6Pl_A1PYWjXfAvDKS5HfeK/s320/dealing-with-mistakes-the-past-life-advice.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; line-height: 20.2399997711182px;"> </span>All I can do now is focus on the next year. Of course, I’d like to get to goal, which is probably about another 45 pounds away. Maybe I can, maybe I won’t. But even if I don’t make it this year, I know I’ll make great progress towards that goal, and be in an even better place than I am now. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; line-height: 20.2399997711182px;"> </span>Right now, I’m doing pretty well. It’s weird, I’m not writing down my meals, just kind of going over it in my head. It’s easy since I’m not snacking. I know in the long terms I need to get back to tracking, but for now I’m feeling good where I am, and it’s working.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.666666666666666px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px; line-height: 20.2399997711182px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m a couple pounds down from the gains of those few weeks, and confident I’ll be back in the 160s soon.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsE_DNope2r-aK0_DDkWuWpX3v2gVppf9DMIC_bOWxE4AJkKlHsm6ZiBahBrumui7o_h-5oKsJQrmTXesTwiuRfRcB72gn8Foja99B6INjME89a5_h-CDatWbkozsJL0aHpBBDF7Ro0hA7/s1600/goodnight-cheese-buzz-lightyear-to-infinity-and-beyond.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsE_DNope2r-aK0_DDkWuWpX3v2gVppf9DMIC_bOWxE4AJkKlHsm6ZiBahBrumui7o_h-5oKsJQrmTXesTwiuRfRcB72gn8Foja99B6INjME89a5_h-CDatWbkozsJL0aHpBBDF7Ro0hA7/s1600/goodnight-cheese-buzz-lightyear-to-infinity-and-beyond.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9162235809662074511.post-6794796967716932572015-06-03T17:58:00.001-04:002015-06-06T23:36:57.740-04:00Beyonce Pad Thai vs. Liz Lemon - Feeling Food Conflicts<div>
I despise saying this, but... this is not working. If you're just tuning in, last week I decided to take the choice and planning out of weight loss and temporarily restrict my meals to just a few that I know I like and are easy to prepare. No sweets, either. For a month. This plan came about after a several week long screw-it-all where I ate everything. I'd reduced my 30 pound loss to more like 25 pounds.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF1euijLxNuAdnyYL4duHsUEnvB4Q8Cvxc6Xw6B_SOWwa5pssvlU1E6XsJ2IJZO9iPoL_cvDZ55qF5rdo3Cp2gmJlaOMmW08v_mOUDz-m8dFs4-6N4VfFBJGTyQB6xrg5IGt0YUud5j7rt/s1600/sports-baseball-blooper-sliding-into-base-fail.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF1euijLxNuAdnyYL4duHsUEnvB4Q8Cvxc6Xw6B_SOWwa5pssvlU1E6XsJ2IJZO9iPoL_cvDZ55qF5rdo3Cp2gmJlaOMmW08v_mOUDz-m8dFs4-6N4VfFBJGTyQB6xrg5IGt0YUud5j7rt/s320/sports-baseball-blooper-sliding-into-base-fail.gif" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's safe though, right?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In the past, when I've been all "Let's nail this thing down for a while," it's been great. Temporarily swinging to a stricter eating plan has always been a great way to jump start my work. This time is different though. It doesn't help that I've been feeling like my insides are rebelling, and demanding ransoms of any/all of the Ben & Jerry's Core flavors. (Hilarious dramatization<span style="color: blue;"> <span style="color: blue;"><a href="http://www.goodnightcheese.com/2015/01/thought-bubble-food-cravings.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</span></span>) It's pretty bad actually. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The past week or two, all I've been feeling is conflicted. On the one side I have the confident part of me, who's probably named Beyonce Pad Thai, the one that knows I will reach my goal, that's encouraging and gentle and enthusiastic. It reminds me that I have done this, and I can do it again. This part of me is also really excited at the awesome future it knows will happen, and lets me fantasize about running into my old torturers while looking all svelte and hot. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKlKDcUwXrQBRNY2DpG9rPWhYnCtmGJ_HuvS-Uapb91wgTN8VG6L80ZTtKdRNeSFOyJIB2fiqq0qDCFt8iV9MOzhsPC6ueFJ6DS5lY-VFu0K1mo0i0n4Z-KVXP_HE3iTGZT1NztX8xu0vc/s1600/mindy-project-beyonce-pad-thai-warrior.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKlKDcUwXrQBRNY2DpG9rPWhYnCtmGJ_HuvS-Uapb91wgTN8VG6L80ZTtKdRNeSFOyJIB2fiqq0qDCFt8iV9MOzhsPC6ueFJ6DS5lY-VFu0K1mo0i0n4Z-KVXP_HE3iTGZT1NztX8xu0vc/s320/mindy-project-beyonce-pad-thai-warrior.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
On the other side, I have this self-destructive, do-what-feels-good-right-now baby, probably called Liz Lemon, who either doesn't care about the future, or has no confidence in my ability to change it. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1GeY9pSvO1Eauhl8VBnVC4Iu-Dee46Z0MwDq0Ow1lA8JuJf0aCF2SU3vF2eZEIeCI-3qhhJfDLl5ze5CKqQqGYrAdYMyDN1HSVpYw0PNCyTLdrJhl5nacXzU5q1wCw_yny05JwUgY2jlr/s1600/liz-lemon-30-rock-cheesy-blasters-food-junk-pizza-eating.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1GeY9pSvO1Eauhl8VBnVC4Iu-Dee46Z0MwDq0Ow1lA8JuJf0aCF2SU3vF2eZEIeCI-3qhhJfDLl5ze5CKqQqGYrAdYMyDN1HSVpYw0PNCyTLdrJhl5nacXzU5q1wCw_yny05JwUgY2jlr/s320/liz-lemon-30-rock-cheesy-blasters-food-junk-pizza-eating.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And somehow, both of these sets of feelings exist completely simultaneously and strongly inside my head, so all I want to do is buy that ice cream, but all I want to do, at the same time, is NOT buy that ice cream. So what ends up happening is like today - I didn't buy the 600-calorie cookie, but I did buy a 300-calorie Frappechino. Better, but still not ideal. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWuhiaKGPyh7fWbpt9jkSYwPd2V5OhrkbB5C1AYm-gRNRZOWv1VEfkAXr6fjpeTB_8m-Jf97uJbqPC_r1YzubBu0teqYJbLP9HitGK_be7k9FvC2JDmEGIjgwPzOMIeXKEOfRdbt614rx7/s1600/lego-movie-expensive-coffee-awesome-happy-37-dollars.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWuhiaKGPyh7fWbpt9jkSYwPd2V5OhrkbB5C1AYm-gRNRZOWv1VEfkAXr6fjpeTB_8m-Jf97uJbqPC_r1YzubBu0teqYJbLP9HitGK_be7k9FvC2JDmEGIjgwPzOMIeXKEOfRdbt614rx7/s320/lego-movie-expensive-coffee-awesome-happy-37-dollars.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm not sure what to do. For this week, I'm trying really hard to not go crazy, still do my gym workouts, and remember that I'm not always going to feel like this. I could even fit in a candy bar every day and still eat at maintenance levels. That's about a thousand times better than letting loose again and having to re-lose <i>that </i>weight too. I may also weigh myself, because the reasons I had for avoiding the scale don't apply when I'm not really trying. At this point, I actually should know where I really am. Then maybe I can regroup and try this plan again. Because overall I do think it's a good one, and one that I need. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Usually one voice is much stronger than the other, allowing me to eat or not eat the brownie, or maybe to eat the brownie but then stop at just one. Or the actual me is able to take control, not be passive, and show them who's boss. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The kind of good thing about all of this though, is that I haven't given up. It's more like I'm in hibernation, and trying to do as little damage as possible while waiting for the weather to warm up. Okay, not a perfect comparison, but you get the idea.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZo0TMivm2IRmWjPLwW9Ksp7j6JOYHfb8XqhZbdri8VHC8US7Ag0Og8ZPqSJaQp3UllB-SImExDvJ-DmeBqx0nSNOtR3GzpilHn1FLmjVeB5cNqwwjWpkuSXiQo36bVHZJp6Q-itjF9LrP/s1600/xkcd-comparisons-monster.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZo0TMivm2IRmWjPLwW9Ksp7j6JOYHfb8XqhZbdri8VHC8US7Ag0Og8ZPqSJaQp3UllB-SImExDvJ-DmeBqx0nSNOtR3GzpilHn1FLmjVeB5cNqwwjWpkuSXiQo36bVHZJp6Q-itjF9LrP/s320/xkcd-comparisons-monster.png" width="310" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
TL;DR - food monster winning, need to stick it out</div>
<div>
</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<b>Do you have your own Beyonce Pad Thai, or Liz Lemon? </b></div>
Leahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12185789031772764633noreply@blogger.com4