Thursday, February 18, 2016

My Birthday and Weigh-In

This is a big week. Yesterday I turned 27, and today is my last day of work. Then on Tuesday I start the new job! I thought I would be sadder to leave, but while I will miss my boss and many of the people here, I am just so excited for the new position, and have been waiting so long to leave (over a year), that I'm not upset. This has been a long time coming.

I had another good weigh-in - down 1.4! That's 3 pounds for the month, and a total of 11.4 pounds in 12 weeks. I think the last time I lost a pound a week for three months was in college.

I was debating a lot how to deal, food-wise, with all these awesome things happening. My birthday was originally going to be a freebie, but then it happened to occur in conjunction with all these other events that were also going to be freebies - namely, the cake and then farewell happy hour for my last week of work. I had assumed they'd be a lot more spread out.

Also, I realized that I DON'T want to have a whole freebie week. I don't want to get on the scale and see that I erased the progress from the last couple of weeks. It doesn't seem worth it. Therefore, my goal for this week - for my birthday yesterday, for the end-of-work events, and for a relaxed movie/pizza/hangout we're going to have with some friends on Saturday as a birthday party - is just not to gain, and to do my best.

I was trying to figure out "What can I live with?" "Indulging but not going nuts?" I came up with w birthday meal instead of a birthday all-day-snackfest. Last night we went out to dinner, and I ate fettuccine Alfredo and creme brulee. It was beautiful. But I (mostly) stuck to the plan during the day.

That's my goal for the next week or so, leaving my old job and starting a new one. There's a lot of wonderful changes going on, but I'm going to try, at least, not to get too caught up in the eating part of it.

So bring on the cake and drinks, I (kind of) got this!

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The Best News I've Had Since 2014

So I must say, this has been a fucking amazing couple of weeks. I suck for not updating, even though I promised to do that - I will keep trying.

I've mentioned (i.e. complained) on here a couple of times about how I'm trying to find a job in the publishing industry and get out of paralegal work, so I'm thrilled to say that I got one! I'm going to be working in publicity for one of the major publishing companies, starting in a couple of week, and am absolutely ecstatic.

A good weight update, too: Last week, I was up .2. This week, I was down 1.4, which got me to my first ten pounds! It took me 13 weeks to lose 10 pounds, which is obviously longer than I'd like, but I know that it because of the times when I didn't make good choices.

I'm still digging Weight Watchers, though sometimes they try a bit too much to be everyone's therapist. Next week will mark 3 months since I started, and I'm hoping to take it to the end. A great perk of the new job is that it's pretty close to my current office, and therefore very close to my current Weight Watchers meeting. I'm really glad; that will make all these giant (but awesome) changes all the more easy.

Share your good news, please!

Thursday, January 28, 2016

A Great Weigh In and How Not to Hate Your Body During Weight Loss

Good news! This week I was down 2 pounds. That puts me at 185.6. The previous week I was up .6, so I lost that plus another pound and a half.

I'm proud. I worked so hard last week to stay on plan, and I did it. I keep learning the lesson that I do much better with routine, and really struggle when not in my regular environment, whether that's vacation in Michigan or visiting my parent's. I'm not sure yet how to deal with that. However, most of life is, thankfully, pretty routine, so if I can get that down well, then those occasional vacation or party struggles won't matter so much.

Remember when I first started Weight Watchers, and my first weigh-in was 10 pounds above what my home scale was giving me? At the time, I figured a few pounds were because of wearing clothing and weighing in later in the day, and the rest was just the WW scale being off. For a while, I would subtract 10 pounds from every weigh in, and think of that as my real weight.

No more. There's no point. I'm now down, officially from weight watchers, 8.8 pounds. Maybe I can hit the big 1-0 this week?

My biggest weight struggle right now is trying not to be, essentially, grossed out by my current body. I know it's not that bad, and I don't look so terrible. But I carry so much of the weight in my stomach and thighs and I hate seeing it in the mirror and realizing that it will be at least several months of hard work before it gets better.

I know the title of the post makes it sound like I'm offering advice, but really I'm at a loss. I try to appreciate the things my body can do - do endless jumping jacks during our kick-ass Power Dance class, hug the people I love, or just generally give a cozy home to my brain and let me live with all my senses. I try. It's hard when I see my stomach sticking out. When something is too small on my stomach but too loose at my waist.

Frankly, I don't think I should love this body. It's not a healthy one. I should appreciate it, and probably be nicer when I think about, but I don't have to love it. I just maybe shouldn't hate it.

What do you LOVE about your body?

I do like my eyes (grey-green) and my hair. I also like that even at this weight, I have a shape with a curved waist and hips.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Weigh-Ins and There's Always a Story

I owe you an update.

Last week, when I weighed in just before getting on a plane to Detroit to visit my mother-in-law, and two good friends who just had a baby, I was even from the week before.

Confession: In Detroit, I didn't even track. I wasn't stuffing my face like I have in the past, but I was not in a great tracking mindset. It was such a wasted opportunity, since I was able to be in charge of all the cooking - which I love - so I could have made a really WW friendly vacation. Instead I made mac and cheese. Ah well.

This past week I was up by half a pound, not bad considering what I'd anticipated.

This week, so far, is going much better. I'm back in the tracking mindset and paying attention to my points.

I don't know why I've been having such a tough time. However, the difference between this and other times is that I'm still trying, still getting back on track. And there has been progress! I'm still down 7 pounds from when I started, and that's something. I just need to keep going and keep doing the best that I can.

For any weight loss thing, there's always a success-in-spite-of-it story. "Oh, you gained your first three weeks? I gained my first four weeks, but then I lost 50 pounds and got fit." "This is your 4th time joining Weight Watchers? No worries, I joined 5 times. That fifth time has been continuing for a years now, and I'm well into my maintenance mode."

That applies to life too. "Oh yeah, that guy switched careers at 45 and he's blissfully happy."

Why? Because it's not about whatever the "thing" was, it's just because the person didn't give up after it. I imagine 100% of successful people have that. I can be one of them. "Oh you see-sawed for your whole teens and twenties? Me too, but then I finally took it all the way home."

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Weight Update and Why I Reject New Year's Resolutions

First, weight update: On Tuesday I lost the pound gained last week, plus a tiny bit extra! Total is 7.4 pounds down since November 17. Since we’re getting into two months on my Weight Watchers adventure, here is a table of my progress. Sorry for the weird formatting.
January 5th 187.0lbs

December 29th

December 15th
December 8th
Tuesday, December 1st

Tuesday, November 24th
Tuesday, November 17th

Holy crap, do I want to be out of the 180s. The funny (or sad?) thing is that I really could be doing much better. Every week it’s a huge struggle to stay within my daily and weekly points, and I don’t even think I’ve managed to do it once. So if I can lose a pound a week going over, how much better could I do if I really really stuck to it?

Maybe this week can be that week.

Now, onto a super fun topic: New Year’s Resolutions. 

Frankly I think New Year’s resolutions are, more often than not, pointless. Almost by default, they’re designed to be fleeting as you lose momentum, and by March it’s hard to remember what the resolution was. Art classes? Learn to ski? Finally hire that hit man for your horrible boss?

Maybe the trap is that we think a new year will somehow automatically change us.I mean, it’s a new year, we think. It has to, right? But that’s not it.

Change comes from hard fucking work that’s constant effort, and it happens throughout the year. January 1st is not some permission to decide to change something, some unique opening that must be taken advantage of. I joined Weight Watchers the week before Thanksgiving, and I’m so glad I did.

People can and do change themselves, the date is irrelevant. New Year’s resolutions are the punchlines in sitcoms, gyms and weight loss centers prepare for an influx of people, 95% of whom won’t be there in a few months. It’s a nice idea, a new year and a new you, but it’s lost all meaning.

I am trying to make changes, the least of which is weight loss. If people want to learn the guitar, take Spanish lessons, go to the gym, awesome! But I hope they don’t do it for New Year’s, but rather just because they want to, and it happens to be New Year’s.

So if someone here stumbled across this blog because they made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight, I hope you know I’m seriously rooting for you. You absolutely rock for trying to get healthier and tackle your weight, and it’s totally possible. But, you know, just do it. Not because it’s January, but because it’s time.