Thursday, January 28, 2016

A Great Weigh In and How Not to Hate Your Body During Weight Loss

Good news! This week I was down 2 pounds. That puts me at 185.6. The previous week I was up .6, so I lost that plus another pound and a half.

I'm proud. I worked so hard last week to stay on plan, and I did it. I keep learning the lesson that I do much better with routine, and really struggle when not in my regular environment, whether that's vacation in Michigan or visiting my parent's. I'm not sure yet how to deal with that. However, most of life is, thankfully, pretty routine, so if I can get that down well, then those occasional vacation or party struggles won't matter so much.

Remember when I first started Weight Watchers, and my first weigh-in was 10 pounds above what my home scale was giving me? At the time, I figured a few pounds were because of wearing clothing and weighing in later in the day, and the rest was just the WW scale being off. For a while, I would subtract 10 pounds from every weigh in, and think of that as my real weight.

No more. There's no point. I'm now down, officially from weight watchers, 8.8 pounds. Maybe I can hit the big 1-0 this week?

My biggest weight struggle right now is trying not to be, essentially, grossed out by my current body. I know it's not that bad, and I don't look so terrible. But I carry so much of the weight in my stomach and thighs and I hate seeing it in the mirror and realizing that it will be at least several months of hard work before it gets better.

I know the title of the post makes it sound like I'm offering advice, but really I'm at a loss. I try to appreciate the things my body can do - do endless jumping jacks during our kick-ass Power Dance class, hug the people I love, or just generally give a cozy home to my brain and let me live with all my senses. I try. It's hard when I see my stomach sticking out. When something is too small on my stomach but too loose at my waist.

Frankly, I don't think I should love this body. It's not a healthy one. I should appreciate it, and probably be nicer when I think about, but I don't have to love it. I just maybe shouldn't hate it.

What do you LOVE about your body?

I do like my eyes (grey-green) and my hair. I also like that even at this weight, I have a shape with a curved waist and hips.

Friday, January 22, 2016

Weigh-Ins and There's Always a Story

I owe you an update.

Last week, when I weighed in just before getting on a plane to Detroit to visit my mother-in-law, and two good friends who just had a baby, I was even from the week before.

Confession: In Detroit, I didn't even track. I wasn't stuffing my face like I have in the past, but I was not in a great tracking mindset. It was such a wasted opportunity, since I was able to be in charge of all the cooking - which I love - so I could have made a really WW friendly vacation. Instead I made mac and cheese. Ah well.

This past week I was up by half a pound, not bad considering what I'd anticipated.

This week, so far, is going much better. I'm back in the tracking mindset and paying attention to my points.

I don't know why I've been having such a tough time. However, the difference between this and other times is that I'm still trying, still getting back on track. And there has been progress! I'm still down 7 pounds from when I started, and that's something. I just need to keep going and keep doing the best that I can.

For any weight loss thing, there's always a success-in-spite-of-it story. "Oh, you gained your first three weeks? I gained my first four weeks, but then I lost 50 pounds and got fit." "This is your 4th time joining Weight Watchers? No worries, I joined 5 times. That fifth time has been continuing for a years now, and I'm well into my maintenance mode."

That applies to life too. "Oh yeah, that guy switched careers at 45 and he's blissfully happy."

Why? Because it's not about whatever the "thing" was, it's just because the person didn't give up after it. I imagine 100% of successful people have that. I can be one of them. "Oh you see-sawed for your whole teens and twenties? Me too, but then I finally took it all the way home."

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Weight Update and Why I Reject New Year's Resolutions

First, weight update: On Tuesday I lost the pound gained last week, plus a tiny bit extra! Total is 7.4 pounds down since November 17. Since we’re getting into two months on my Weight Watchers adventure, here is a table of my progress. Sorry for the weird formatting.
January 5th 187.0lbs

December 29th

December 15th
December 8th
Tuesday, December 1st

Tuesday, November 24th
Tuesday, November 17th

Holy crap, do I want to be out of the 180s. The funny (or sad?) thing is that I really could be doing much better. Every week it’s a huge struggle to stay within my daily and weekly points, and I don’t even think I’ve managed to do it once. So if I can lose a pound a week going over, how much better could I do if I really really stuck to it?

Maybe this week can be that week.

Now, onto a super fun topic: New Year’s Resolutions. 

Frankly I think New Year’s resolutions are, more often than not, pointless. Almost by default, they’re designed to be fleeting as you lose momentum, and by March it’s hard to remember what the resolution was. Art classes? Learn to ski? Finally hire that hit man for your horrible boss?

Maybe the trap is that we think a new year will somehow automatically change us.I mean, it’s a new year, we think. It has to, right? But that’s not it.

Change comes from hard fucking work that’s constant effort, and it happens throughout the year. January 1st is not some permission to decide to change something, some unique opening that must be taken advantage of. I joined Weight Watchers the week before Thanksgiving, and I’m so glad I did.

People can and do change themselves, the date is irrelevant. New Year’s resolutions are the punchlines in sitcoms, gyms and weight loss centers prepare for an influx of people, 95% of whom won’t be there in a few months. It’s a nice idea, a new year and a new you, but it’s lost all meaning.

I am trying to make changes, the least of which is weight loss. If people want to learn the guitar, take Spanish lessons, go to the gym, awesome! But I hope they don’t do it for New Year’s, but rather just because they want to, and it happens to be New Year’s.

So if someone here stumbled across this blog because they made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight, I hope you know I’m seriously rooting for you. You absolutely rock for trying to get healthier and tackle your weight, and it’s totally possible. But, you know, just do it. Not because it’s January, but because it’s time.

Monday, January 4, 2016

Weight Update in 2016

I hope everyone had a very happy new year! I celebrated by falling asleep at 8:00 p.m. and waking up to the sounds of someone somewhere outside yelling "Happy New Year!" with the kind of enthusiasm and slurring only a wonderfully drunk person can manage. It was actually really awesome - I got to ring in the new year. Then the first hours of the new year were spent with John on Netflix.

We had some plans, but I ended up kind of pooping out on them.

Weight update: I was a pound up last week, which I guess can only be expected given that I was 130 points in the red. Yup, 130 points. Surprisingly easy if you eat junk food. This week so far has been better, so I'm hoping for better results tomorrow.

How exciting was your New Year's Eve? Did you stay up till midnight?