Weight Loss - One Year Later

As of a couple of days ago, it’s been a year since I first started this journey. I technically started back in February 2014, but after losing little to no weight for four or five months, I looked at my Myfitnesspal tracker sometime last June and realized that I was eating a lot more than I thought. So I switched it up and got more careful.

Thus I think of June as my real “anniversary.” Despite certain weeks and even months during this year when I didn’t give a crap, and/or wasn’t eating well, I still think of this year as one coherent time of attempted weight loss. This is mostly because I never stopped, in my weird way, caring. Even when I didn’t give a crap, I did. I may also be biased because I hate the concept of “restarting on Monday” or similar second-chance plans.

So, one year later, what have I done?

	Weight	% Fat	% Muscle	Lbs Fat	Lbs Muscle
6/8/2014	191.2	42.8	34.8	82.7	67.3
6/9/2015	173.4	36.6	36.7	63.5	63.3
Difference	17.8	6.2	-1.9	19.2	4

In twelve months, I’ve lost just under twenty pounds of fat and also lost a few pounds of muscle. Percentage-wise, though, I’ve actually gained muscle.

If you told me a year ago that I’d lose twenty pounds over the next twelve months, I’d have been extremely disappointed and pissed. And it’s true, I really did want more from this year, and the “could have” and “should have” are dancing around my head. But twenty pounds is still twenty pounds, and even if it takes me a full additional year to lose another twenty, I’ll still make it eventually, right? Yes, it could have been forty or fifty, maybe it should have been, but I’ve realized that I could have just as easily ended the year with an extra twenty pounds.

It’s just so, so easy to be disappointed because I know I could have done so much better, but I know I still need to remember that it’s still progress - great progress, because virtually all the weight lost was pure fat - and that I should be proud of that.

All I can do now is focus on the next year. Of course, I’d like to get to goal, which is probably about another 45 pounds away. Maybe I can, maybe I won’t. But even if I don’t make it this year, I know I’ll make great progress towards that goal, and be in an even better place than I am now.

Right now, I’m doing pretty well. It’s weird, I’m not writing down my meals, just kind of going over it in my head. It’s easy since I’m not snacking. I know in the long terms I need to get back to tracking, but for now I’m feeling good where I am, and it’s working.

  I’m a couple pounds down from the gains of those few weeks, and confident I’ll be back in the 160s soon.

Weekly Weigh-In: Seesaw

I got my groove back, working hard and ending the week with a 3300-calorie deficit. (I.e. almost a pound's worth of calories.) 

This week’s weigh-in below. Since I’ve been doing more intensive Tuesday night workouts that I think might have been affecting the weigh-in, I got on a scale a day early.

	Start	6/8	8/19	9/30	10/29	12/31	1/28	2/11	2/18	2/25	3/4
Weight	200	191.2	182.6	181	181.4	177.2	174.6	174.2	178	177	175
Lbs. Fat		82.7	72.5	70.3	70.8	67.1	65.3	64.7	67.4	66.5	64.6
Lbs. Muscle		67.3	66.8	65.2	67.3	63.9	64.4	63.5	64.2	68.2	64.1

So we’re getting closer to where it’s supposed to be before the ridiculous 4-pounds-up-in-one-week gain, but still a couple pounds off by my calorie calculations. On another note, look how close the fat and muscle pounds are! The seesaw is about to turn the other way.

Honestly, I’m worried this is starting to mess with my head. Just based on these numbers, my weight has been overall quite stagnant for months. But it shouldn’t be. But it is. And I'm tired of being tired of it.

I’ve had one or two people tell me that they’ve noticed I look smaller, more compact, compared to a couple of months ago. I can feel it, too. My back and waist are smaller, and I think my thighs are actually smaller too. That one’s especially great, because they’re usually the last to go. I can see my jawline has gotten more defined. It's definitely time for some new measurements and progress photos, actually.

So it’s like my appearance matches my efforts and success, but the scale, even with it’s fat/muscle magic, isn’t. I liked the scale because it’s supposed to be a good way to measure shorter term progress, but right now it’s not doing its job. So I either need to really, really focus on the positive changes that have been happening to my body (because they really have and it’s great) or stop weighing in.

Tools are only tools when they’re useful (unless of course you’re talking about people who are tools), and this one’s not being useful. It’s time for some updated measurements, ASAP.

The other question is, should I put the scale away? 
Who else is sick of my whining besides me?

Weekly Weight & High School Nostalgia

Here's the weekly number: 

	Starting	6/8	8/19	9/30	10/29	11/19	12/24	12/31	1/7	1/14
Weight	200	191.2	182.6	181	181.4	177.6	179.6	177.2	176.6	175.8
Lbs. Fat		82.7	72.5	70.3	70.8	68.1	69.5	67.1	66.9	67.6
Lbs. Muscle		67.3	66.8	65.2	67.3	63.3	68	63.9	63.9	65

Of course, the week after I decide to focus on the fat number and less on the net weight, my fat is up and weight is down. Maybe I’ll switch for the week? So yay, I'm down almost a full pound!

This was a pretty good week, though I think now I'm getting into that fun monthly time where I want to eat everything. I've been going to the gym consistently 4-5 times a week, even when my husband doesn't join me.

Pictured: COMMITMENT.

Our friend who joined a CSA let us take it over for a couple of weeks while she was away, which let to our having a ton of parsnips, eggs, and pears. Awesome! I made a blended parsnip soup with a couple of potatoes, light coconut milk, and Indian spices (based on this recipe). It was sweeter than expected, but still good and only 120 calories per cup. Overall though, I need to get consistently better about cooking. The main reason is that lunches out are expensive. 

In other news, I think going to the gym has officially become ingrained in me. I don’t dread it, and sometimes I even enjoy it. Working out is just something I do now, apparently. It helps that the machines at the gym all have televisions attached, so when I go in the morning I get to look forward to watching an old episode of Charmed. Approximately 27% of my high school years were spent watching this show.

That’s not to say that I wouldn’t easily revert back to old habits. I’ve done that before. But this time actually feels different. When I get up early so I can go to the gym before work, it feels like “Okay, this is something I should do for the rest of my life. Okay, I can do that.”

Five more weeks until my goal time of getting into the 170s.