Weigh-In: Pretentious Appetizers and Mojitos

There were several cocktails, a couple of shots, roasted potatoes, some kind of grilled flat bread with arugula and goat cheese, “creamy avocado dip with homemade tortilla chips” (fancy chips and guacamole), and, of course, Cheetos.

It was a really fun night out with my coworkers, celebrating the departure of one of the attorneys. Last Thursday evening started at the happy hour with a mojito and ended at 3 am at a karaoke bar with Cheetos and several outstanding renditions of classic 2000s pop songs.

However, it was also my highest daily calorie intake in a long time. When I finally calculated up everything on Friday, my estimated total was about 3,000 calories. So, yikes. Amazing how quickly a few cocktails and appetizers could add up to such a massive amount of calories. I knew I was saying screw it and enjoying the food and drinks, but I didn’t realize how much until after. And even after that, I enjoyed a delicious burrito the size of my head for lunch on Friday, a totally unnecessary consumption.

I’m not going to be angry at myself, especially since I picked myself back up on Saturday, but I’ve been thinking about what happened, why I let myself get so out of hand. Maybe it was just the rare calorie wild evening, which could fit into an overall healthy lifestyle. My coworkers imbibed as much as I did, and none of them have weight issues, so clearly they know how to balance food- and drink-filled nights with regular daily life. Or maybe I really needed an evening of just eating whatever I wanted. However, I will try to remember that those every-once-in-a-while nights only work if they truly are every once in a while.

Here is this week’s weigh in:

Measurements	June 8th	August 4th	August 12th	August 19th	August 26th
Weight	191.2	184	183	182.6	181.4
Pounds Fat	82.7	74.5	70.4	72.5	71.8
Pounds Muscle	67.3	68.2	66.4	66.8	67.3

So basically, score! Another pound down, and now officially ten lost total. Last week, when the scale didn’t seem to reflect the successes from the week, I(so graciously) decided to forgive it. This week, I scraped up a ½ pound deficit even with the 3,000 calorie day. This is good. I can do this.

I may yet squeak out my goal of getting to the 170s by Labor Day, but probably only if I dehydrate myself a bit.

Week 5 Done, and Week 6 Plan: The Gods of Smug

This was a great weekend. We did ALL the laundry, and I mean that quite literally. I realized, after someone told me, that there are actually three steps to dishes and laundry: Wash, dry, put away, dammit.  If the clean laundry lives in a hamper for a week or two, and it only moved when I rummage through it to find specific things, and then eventually gets washed again because we can’t remember if it was clean or dirty, then it was not done. So I’m disproportionately proud to say that the laundry is DONE. This has nothing to do with weight loss, I'm just that proud.

Food-wise, this past week (week 5) averaged out to good, though not as good as it could have been. The weekdays were great and I ate and felt good and went to the gym. But I let myself go a little too much on the weekend. Ironically, the main culprit was cookie dough that I ate in my apartment. I who, of course, just wrote about how locations can make it easier or harder to resist junk food I don’t need, and how I was eating too much cookie dough at a friend’s house and thinking how I probably wouldn’t be eating like this in my own house. 

The gods of smug or philosophy or something reminded me that the food itself matters too, and there I was, Friday afternoon, baking delicious chocolate fudge zebra cookies for a potluck, and snacking on the dough. Some of that I’ll happily blame on PMS and the aforementioned gods, the rest is all me. Between that, the potluck, and cheerios eaten with granola and milk, Friday and Saturday were maintenance-type days instead of loss ones. The good news is that I tracked it all and my average daily caloric intake for the week (Sunday to Saturday) was 1450 - still a damn good number.

Last week, we left my in-law's and arrived in New York late Sunday night and I didn’t even bother trying to put together a meal plan for that week. It was harder and I got lazy. I can make dinner for J and myself no problem, but I’m unmotivated to plan, prepare, or make work lunches. So I end up buying lunch, either a giant salad, soup and half sandwich, or a slice of pizza. It fits into the meal plan, but it’s expensive and repetitive.

$3.50 for a yogurt?

This week I was ready to actually make lunch and save some money, so yesterday I made a bunch of stuffed peppers with turkey, kidney beans, and rice. Easy and a one-dish meal. There are so many other things I want to make over the coming weeks, especially with how cheap some things are in the summer. I’m also planning pesto with sole, frittatas, and maybe see how far I can get before ruining a souffle.

Here’s the tentative Week Six menu, though Sunday is already gone.

	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
Breakfast	Coffee	Coffee, yogurt	Coffee, yogurt	Coffee, oatmeal	Coffee, oatmeal	Coffee, yogurt	Coffee
Lunch	Pizza on easy homemade crust	Stuffed peppers: turkey & rice	Veggie burger	Stuffed peppers: turkey & rice	Stuffed peppers: turkey & rice	Stuffed peppers: turkey & rice	TBD
Dinner	Loaded baked potato	Burrito or taco salad	TBD	Pizza, broccoli	TBD	Chicken, potatoes, Brussels sprouts
Snacks	Cereal, cherries, turkey	Cherries	Strawberries, cheese	Strawberries, cheese

Dinners are mostly left blank because I usually make whatever I'm in the mood for. Rest assured, I eat healthy and blog-worthy dinners such as hot dogs and baked potatoes. I’m aiming to cook vegetables more often.

Just a couple more weeks until I can officially look at the numbers. I’m hoping to be out of the 180s when August 5th arrives, but we’ll see. Generally, my first big along-the-way-goal is 170 - that’s when my face looked "normal," and many of my now too-tight clothing items are from that weight. One-seventy is also only about thirty or forty pounds above my goal weight, which somehow manages to feel infinitely closer than the current (at last look) fifty or sixty I have left to go.

My Biggest Secret

My biggest secret is that I weigh too much. It’s not really a secret, of course – anyone who sees me would be aware of it. But the reasons behind my weight are certainly more personal, like my struggles with food, self-esteem, stress, and depression.

I’m wearing a cellulite sign around my neck that everyone can read: “I probably eat too much, and there might also be deeper psychological issues here.” And I really forget that it's there.

Not fair, right? My weight, and any issues I have that may have to do with it, are my own personal business, to be shared only with close friends and strangers on the Internet as I choose to reveal them. Not to be immediately obvious to anyone who sees me.

It's like how you're mildly surprised when you hear yourself on a recording. Not because you sound bad or because it's so interesting, but because the voice coming out of the machine seems so foreign compared to what you hear when speaking. And then you realize, so that's how I sound to other people all the time?

It's the same way with my body. Like most people, I forget about how I look. This isn’t an issue, because I would not want to be focusing on my weight or appearance. Nobody should constantly be reminded of their appearance, good or bad. I feel bad for very tall people who hear, "Wow, you sure are tall!" all the time.

So I forget how I look. But then something happens, like I see a photo of myself, or someone asks me if I'm going to the gym because I want to lose weight, and I think, is that what I look like? All the time? To everyone? I'm reminded that nobody has forgotten my biggest secret. Hopefully they're not focusing on it, just like I'm not focusing on how other people look. But it's still out there.

Still though, it sucks sometimes. The people who've seen me periodically over the years know that I lost a lot of weight, and then gained a lot of it back. They don't know why, but it's clear that it happened. I sometimes wonder how much nicer it would be if being overweight could be a thing that I choose to mention or not mention to someone, like other personal details.

Mmm, so you like to hydrate by bathing.

Anyone else feel this way?

Holiday Fun

Why am I taking off five of the next ten work days?

Why, for the delightful holiday of Passover. I write about it here because it will impact my weight loss journey in a random array of challenges for the next week, and also because I can.

The explanation for Passover is long, but it basically is a Jewish holiday that celebrates and remembers how the Jewish people were rescued from slavery in Egypt 3,500 years ago by God working through Moses and Aaron. Part of the commemoration involves not eating any leavened (risen) bread and instead eating matzoh, which consists of only water and flour and is made from start to finish in under eighteen minutes, because the Jews left Egypt in such a hurry that the not-yet-risen bread dough baked on their backs in the hot sun.

Seders can be long.

The point of this is that starting today and ending next Tuesday night, eating well and exercising will be challenging. I won't have access to our normal gym, won't be able to track my food for several days, and will be presented with a lot of delicious food for which I have no idea of the calories or ingredients. I'll be away from home, surrounded by family who will have rare "Let's indulge in slow-cooked meats, fried things, and flour-less chocolate cake" attitudes.

 
Diet: The main rule is "no unleavened bread," but the no-nos for this culinarily challenging Holiday include: breads, pastries, rice, oats, soy, barley and most other grains, beans, peanuts and corn. The corn restriction means no cornstarch or high-fructose corn syrup, which is why you may have noticed special Heinz ketchup and Coke bottles with yellow tops, both of which are made with cane sugar instead of corn syrup.

What is allowed? Matzoh, meat, eggs, coffee, dairy products, and most vegetables and fruits are permitted.

We manage.

My Strategy

My goal is basically just not to go crazy - be aware of what I'm eating, if I want to be eating it, and how much I'm consuming. Mindless eating, or worse, eating because there's so much food and I feel like I need to have ALL of it because otherwise I'm missing out on something, is what I'm trying hard to avoid. This is especially important when I can't track and it will be easy to forget little mindless indulgences.


That's the best advice I have for myself, or for anyone else looking for tips: not to just take a bit of everything because it's there. Rather, I will try to look at the options and decide what I would really like to enjoy, and what, upon a little hesitation, I realize I don't actually care that much about. Also, I will try to remember that this is the holiday of leftovers, so chances are that the dish I don't have tonight will make a great lunch tomorrow.

I will estimate and count calories as much as possible with the aide of my husband/human calculator, and try to take long walks in the (hopefully) nice weather. I can do this. While losing a bit of weight over Passover would be wonderful, I will be very happy to just have stayed the same.

Day six.

A couple of our friends are staying at our apartment while we're gone - they were coming to New York City for Passover and needed a place, and since we'll be gone the whole time, it worked out well!

However, it also means that we needed to leave the apartment in a state where they don't need to maneuver around the clean laundry that's been sitting in the living room for three days or the long-dead flowers on the table. So yesterday it was clean, clean, clean and now we're going to eat, eat, eat.

At worst, it's only one week and I'm determined to get right back to our healthier habits after it's over.

For anyone celebrating, Happy Passover!


(Flour-less chocolate torte photo: oneforthetable.com)

Review: Laziest Chicken Lo Mein Ever

  Last week I made One Pot Wonder Chicken Lo Mein. Since I'm trying to bring lunch to work every day, I'm always looking for simple one-pot meals. While I do enjoy cooking more time consuming or complicated recipes, most of the time I just want to have good, homemade food ready to go.

  The idea is to layer cubed chicken breast, uncooked pasta, and vegetables in a large stock pot, then pour broth, cornstarch, soy sauce, sugar, olive oil, plus other seasonings, on top, and let the whole thing simmer. It all cooks together, and the cornstarch, oil, and soy sauce soak into everything and create that addictive not-quite-sticky but perfectly salty and rich lo mein flavor.

  I altered the recipe a bit to what I had on hand - a full pound of breasts instead of half a pound, fewer carrots, and smaller chopped vegetables.

Before, in an 8-quart pot. Buried underneath are pasta and chicken.

  Cutting everything up is the only part of this recipe that would take any real time, and I cheated by buying pre-chopped peppers and onions (the reason they're smaller than the original recipe). I buy pre-cut or frozen veggies on a regular basis because they save time and dishes. The only thing I had to actually prepare for this dish was some chicken, so the actual work in making this dish was minimal. 

  Aside from what I mentioned above, I followed the rest of the recipe exactly. When the cooking time had elapsed, there was still liquid left in the pot:

  After I let it simmer uncovered for a bit, the water evaporated and left the apartment smelling like delicious (Americanized) Chinese food.

Finished product with my skilled smartphone photography.

  Verdict? Great. Tasted just like what I would get at a take-out place, and I'm glad I added the extra chicken. It was even better reheated because the flavors had marinated. However, next time I'll pre-season the chicken and maybe try a peanut butter version.

  The recipe made a huge amount of food - at least 8-10 generous servings with the full pound of chicken. Not counting the vegetables, this came in at 25 calories/oz, so about 200 calories/cup (very rough estimate because I go by weight). I usually ate 16 ounces for lunch, for 400 calories total.

  Recipe reviews probably won't be a weekly thing, but every once in a while when I find something great, I'll share it. 

The Million Dollar, or Seventy Pound Question: Why Did I Get Fat?

Why did I get fat? I started gaining extra weight in kindergarten, and reached what would be a healthy weight for my current height by age twelve. If only I could have just stopped there.

Nope.

This is a topic to which I've given a lot of thought. Childhood obesity is a highly debated and heavily researched area, with sciencey people looking at factors such as my family and my environment, citing fun things like easy access to junk food, no access to healthy food, and too much television with too little exercise. And of course, my genetics. It's mostly experiments on mice and a lot of correlational studies (let's link video games to obesity!), because we can't go experimenting on children.

I don't know how much I fit into those risk factors - I was really lucky. During my childhood, there were always fresh fruits to snack on, and vegetables with every meal. Dessert was reserved for Friday night and special occasions, and my parents only ever bought soda or white bread for guests. Most meals were homemade and eaten at home.

Except when we had wax.

My family was and is healthy. But I was still a chubby 10-year-old who was jealous of her friends in their cute pre-teen bikinis, but who still sneaked extra Oreos at school parties and didn't understand why she couldn't just make herself skinny by wishing hard enough.

It was probably more emotional. I suffered from depression and had low self-esteem as a kid. My parents are wonderful, and did all they could. But I was still an unhappy child. Science says that could have contributed to weight gain.

My current hypothesis is that the initial chubbiness was a fairly standard weight gain, the result of a few overindulgences and being so excited by the junk food that came my way at school or friends' houses that I overdid it and ignored my hunger or fullness signals. This happens to plenty of children, and they often grow into their weights (less so these days, but it used to be more common).

But being a little overweight helped create that classic cycle. I felt badly about myself, so I ate more. My parents wanted to help me lose weight, but they didn't really know how. I didn't know how myself. Food could be both a reward and punishment. I could eat to spite their attempts and punish myself, or I could eat to feel better, or feel in control. Eating felt guilty and great. Or maybe it's a little of all of that.

High school was much better - I slowly got out of feeling depressed and generally grew up a little.  I think time was the biggest factor. But food was still comforting, and while I seemed to be maintaining my weight, it was about 30 pounds too high.

College is a more complicated story, for later.

All in all, I think, I hope, that I'm at least a little more self-aware than I was as a child, and now have the tools and knowledge to get healthy.