Pants Progress and Low Sugar Breakfasts

I’m finally feeling out of my rut, actually motivated instead of just going through the motions. Proud that I kept slugging along, even when it was the last thing I wanted to do. Perhaps the new challenge of cutting out (most) sugar has helped, or maybe motivation really is like a wave, and if you can ride out the low points and keep going, you’ll get to a high point again.

Today, I had a great, wonderful moment. It had to do with pants. Over the last six months, I’ve only been able to wear one pair of pants to work; the other days I wear skirts or dresses. My other pairs of pants either don’t button, or look obscenely tight. Even the pair I actually wear to work doesn’t fit quite right, and they’re definitely not flattering. Today one of the old pairs fit me! Actually fit, not just “can technically button” fit. It’s one of the first concrete proofs of weight loss that I’ve had, scale be damned. At work, I may have looked like I was wearing regular black slacks, but they were victory pants today.

It inspired me to finally take new progress photos, and created a page for them next to the "About Me." I aim to update it once a month.

In other news, the no-sugar challenge has been going well, and having this idea in my head that I’m doing this has made it much easier to bypass the candy at work. Today there was a huge platter of pastries next to my desk, and I didn’t have any. This is a huge accomplishment for me, since even during great weight loss weeks, I still usually “spend” 100-200 calories on little bites from these.

However, you know what has a lot of sugar? My breakfasts, it seems. When I decided to omit sugar from my diet (with the exception of morning coffee), I was focusing on work treats and extraneous evening snacks more than breakfasts. However, since I’m trying to cut sugar during the day, I figured I may as well make some effort to have less sugary breakfasts.

I’m not creative with breakfasts: virtually every morning, I either have a package of Quaker Instant Oatmeal, microwaved with milk, or a flavored Greek yogurt. My oatmeal gets 25% of its 160 calories from sugar, and my yogurt of choice brags a full 30 grams per serving - so about 20% as well.

On Sunday, I made homemade oatmeal. It still has some sugar, but about one-third less than the packaged kind. I’ve been eating that for the last couple of days. Other days I’ll try Cheerios and milk, frozen waffles with peanut butter, or rice cakes with peanut butter and no-sugar-added jelly. They’re convenient, low sugar, and will get me to lunch, and I’m definitely open to other suggestions. However, I’m less inclined to have eggs since they have such a strong smell, and I prefer to torture my coworkers in other office-fun ways anyway.

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Learning to Say No: Default Settings

There are many questions to which I have automatic answers. It’s when the mouth and vocal cords bypass the brain and the response comes automatically. They're the Times New Roman of the brain - the default setting. “Would you like to hear about a wonderful timeshare opportunity?” “Do you want to get into my van?” “Would you like to hold a puppy?” No, no, yes.

Auto responses are kind of like habits, but so ingrained they’re practically unconscious. And for most of my life, there was a particular query which always got a yes from me: An offer of food.

When food was offered, I always needed to have some. I would say yes first and think about the rest - if I was hungry or even wanted it - later, or not at all. If I didn’t have something when it was offered, I was missing out. It was unthinkable to watch other people enjoy something and not partake myself. Why should they get it if I don’t? Why on earth would I even need to think about saying no to something that looks good?

It turns out those auto responses cost me some pounds and willpower. I recently realized that during my many weight losses and gains, one of the things that those successful times have in common was that I did actually consider an offer of food and stopped being on autopilot.

I learned that it was okay to say no when a treat was offered. I wasn’t going to die, nobody would be insulted or even think about it for longer than a split second, and I myself would forget about it soon after, too. I discovered that saying no was an option, and had a power of its own as well. It meant that I was in control of my body and what I ate.

During the glory days at my lowest weight, when I was rocking a size 8-10 and enjoying being fifty pounds lighter, I realized that I couldn’t think of a single particular time in which I turned down food. There must have been hundreds of instances, because I was in environments where food was plentiful and yet I had lost a lot of weight. In college, it had been used to lure students to events. At work, it had been offered by generous colleagues or management. But I really had forgotten about them, and it was the ultimate proof that saying no to food is okay. (Funny, because later I would also forget about the things I said “yes” to. Hello again, thirty-five pounds.)

This auto response also comes into play when it’s my own brain making the suggestions. In fact, my brain comes up with more delicious ideas than the people in my life do. At 11:30 PM, I’ll remember that there’s some ice cream in the freezer. Or at noon on Sunday, I’ll remember that I’m an adult and perhaps this adult would like to make a huge stack of chocolate-chip pancakes from scratch with strawberries and whipped cream? Bad brain! No!

I need to learn how to control those internal auto-responses too, to grow the part of me that can acknowledge that while ice cream and pancakes are awesome and - good job brain, great suggestion - I don’t need them right now and that’s okay. When I’m not in the best or most health-conscious of places, I make an ice cream sandwich out of chocolate chip pancakes. In comparison, when I’m doing well, I let the thought slide away.

Sometimes I note how the healthy people I know make decisions about food, and most of them don’t have auto answers at all. If offered something, they actually consider it and make a decision, and move on with life. Maybe it turns out that it wasn’t the “right” decision, and they’ll decide that they shouldn’t have eaten that, or maybe they even regret turning it down, but most of the time it’s just the tiniest blip on their radar. Oh well, there will be cookies again.

So now that I’ve found myself on the wrong end of the scale again, I’m working to change my auto response to “no.” I think my true healthy relationship with food would involve considering offers like the people I’ve observed do. However, for now, when I’ve been at auto-yes for most of my life, I’m trying to swing to the other extreme. Then I can hope to find some balance in the middle, in the magical world of moderation. A cognitive place where I’ll allow myself a moment to decide what I want and what I need.

Its mode of transportation.

Duh: Realizations and a New Plan

Based on my weight, body fat percentage and muscle percentage, I have made little progress over the last three months. We joined the gym in February and have been using it several times a week since, and I started tracking my food and limiting my calories in the beginning of March.

My body has definitely improved in those months: My waist and hips are a little trimmer, my arms and legs have more definition, and I feel that I’m stronger all around and have increased endurance. However, despite these minor physical changes, I’m basically still where I started three months ago.

I’ve been upset, and still hate seeing my rounded face in photos. I’ve tried not to think about how I had expected to lose twenty pounds by now, but instead I’m still wearing a 14 and size Large in most things and nobody who doesn’t know I’m trying to get into shape has seemed to notice any changes. So what gives?

Let me back up a moment.

My weight loss approach to each day has been simple: I can either have a “loss” day, in which I have a calorie deficit, a “maintenance” day, where I eat exactly the number of calories I would need to maintain my weight, which is about 1800 calories, or a “gain” day, where I go above the maintenance level. Every day I start over. It’s nice to know that I have the possibility of losing weight each day, even if it’s only a fraction of a pound. Each day’s weight losses or gains are negligible; but combined, they’re what adds up to fifty pounds gained or lost in a year.

Over these months, I’ve been aiming for a net of 1250-1300 calories, with Saturday and sometimes Friday at a maintenance  or lesser loss level, and 3-5 gym sessions per week. I’ve been pushing myself at the gym, and tracking perhaps five or six out of seven days, carefully weighing and measuring all my food and tracking it all in MyFitnessPal (leahb423, if you’re also on).

Most of these weeks have ended with me getting increasingly annoyed as the scale didn’t move. While I was frustrated at the lack of progress I felt I’d earned, I recently realized the obvious: I just haven’t been doing the math.

According to various Internet sources, I burn about 1800 calories in an average, no exercise day. Thus if I want to lose a pound a week, I need to eat about 1300 calories per day, plus whatever extra I’ve burned off. Alternatively, I could eat more on some days and less on others as long as the total weekly deficit adds up to 3,500 calories.

I think my stagnation boils down to a few simple things:

1) I let myself indulge, have a “maintenance” day on weekends where sometimes I didn’t even track anything

2) being satisfied with only a 200-350 calorie deficit for the other days

3) Two or three crappy, PMS-ing, bored, overeating days every month or so

Those things combined don’t steady weight loss make. If it takes a 3,500 calorie deficit to lose one pound in a week, and I only have a 1000-1750 calorie deficit from Sunday-Thursday, and then I allow myself a zero deficit day or a “lesser” deficit day - well, that’s maybe a pound or two a month. Combine that with sporadic splurging weeks where I end up with no deficit or, in the case of Passover, where I go over my calories, then there is not really any point where there is steady weight loss. Even with regular exercise.

This seems obvious as I write it, but somehow it didn’t hit me that the only way I could lose a pound a week on this plan would be to get that full 500-calorie deficit every day during the week.

Out of the many weight-loss mantras that I heard sprouted around the Internet and in Weight Watchers, one that stuck in my head was this: If you put in 80% of the work, you’ll get 80% of the results. With weight loss, just one or two hundred calories each day can be the difference between losing twenty pounds over a year, or gaining twenty. So maybe for weight loss, putting in 80% of the work can actually yield zero results. I got to the gym, I track most of the time, I weigh, I measure - that’s the 80%. But then I don’t track on one or two days, or I go a little over. That 20% is killing me.

To illustrate my point, I went back over a recent four-week period to see exactly what I’d been doing. Note this was a time when I was tracking almost everything, including the milk in my morning coffee, and working out, and felt I should have been losing weight - but wasn’t.

Four Week Period from April 28-May 25

• Week of Apr. 28-May 4
• 3 workouts
• Tracked 5 calorie deficit days, did not track two days
• Deficits ranged from 300-500

• Week of May 5-11
• 3 workouts
• Tracked 6 days, with an average of 400 over optimal weight loss caloric intake - some 200 over, one 600 calories over  

• Week of May 12-18 
• 5 workouts
• Tracked 5 days tracking, over from 50-300 on each day, 2 non tracking over days

• Week of May 19-25 
• 6 workouts 
• Tracked 5 days, over 100-200 for all days, with one day at over 500 above “losing” level

Ouch. Out of those 28 days, I didn’t track a full 25% of them, and went over the 1300 calorie limit on most of the days I did track. No wonder I’m not losing weight!

I’m tiring of being frustrated, and done doing this half-assed.

The new plan: 

I will aim to eat 1000-1100 net calories per day, and to exercise 5-6 days a week. On days I work out, I will eat back as many of those calories as I want or need.

This is the plan for the next eight weeks, starting on Sunday and ending on August 3rd. After those 56 days, I will see how I’m doing, see how I feel, and possibly up my daily calories. I probably don’t want to eat just 1000-1100 calories for the rest of the my weight loss journey, but for this little slice in time, where I’ve been pathetically, whine-nily treading for months, I need to start.

As a side note, J suggested that he track my weight for this time so I’m not focused on whether or not I’m losing enough. I decided that would be a good idea, so I will either wait the whole eight weeks or more likely, make him tell me after a month. Sometimes I can’t believe that my husband knows what I weigh, and that it’s now more than he does (shame), and he doesn’t seem to care, but this is just reason #423 why he’s a great husband.

Anyway. Join me as I finally kick this weight loss in the ass. Week 1 starts on Sunday.

It's stuck in your head now too.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I am doing what works for me. I am barely over five feet tall, and I personally don’t go by the assumption that 1200 net calories is a magical, universal number under which all women of all heights and builds will have their bodies slip into starvation mode.

"Goal Weight" Clothes are Pointless

I recently bought some spring clothes, as most of my clothes are either too small or meant for winter. I got some nice brightly colored tops, sandals, and a few dresses. New sunglasses were also necessary, since the pair I’d had for the last ten years finally broke. I bought them for $10 at a random highway stop stand when I was fifteen and they served me well.

I like having nice new clothes, but I don't love shopping, especially as a size 14. I've talked about the annoyance of vanity sizing, and it's still going strong. Yesterday I went to work in some of my new clothes: a dress, size XL, and a white cardigan, size medium. Both are fitted pieces and were flattering. I think they may have even been the same brand. This makes no sense.

Context. Thanks for the inspiration Kara 

While vanity sizing is an equal opportunity exasperation, fun for everyone from obese to petite, shopping while trying to lose weight has a unique challenge: the temptation to buy something that’s just a little too small. Why not? you say. I’ll fit into this dress when I weigh fifteen pounds less, it’s such a nice dress, such a good price, let me just buy it and wear it in a couple of months when I’m thinner.

I’m not the savviest of shoppers, but as a person who has fluctuated from 145-200 pounds since high school, there is one shopping rule I've learned to follow: Always, always, buy the size you are now. Always buy what fits and is comfortable today.

Sometimes when I see women buying clothing with the promise to lose some weight in order to actually wear it, it looks like a punishment. It's a hint that they don’t deserve to wear the item until they've lost weight. This attitude seems especially prevalent in bridal shops.

But I’m not going to punish myself for being fat by buying pretty clothes I can’t wear. There are already enough “negative” reasons for me to lose weight - I’m not comfortable in my body, I’m not healthy - I don’t need too tight clothing as another reminder of what I haven't accomplished.

So I buy what fits now. It just makes more sense.

• When (yes!) I do lose weight, I can have clothing taken in. So if I really love something that I bought a few months ago and is now too big, I probably don’t have to say goodbye to it completely
• It’s impossible to predict how my body will change as I lose - perhaps my waist will be thinner in proportion  to my hips than they are now. 
• This is also a reason against buying a goal style - like a bikini or skinny jeans
• A few years ago my sister lost about 25 pounds. She went down two sizes, but her larger-than-average chest stayed the same. If she had bought a cute but too small top at her heavier weight, it might not have ever fit
• Why not buy something I can wear tomorrow? Why fill my wardrobe with things I can't wear?
• It’s nice to wear something new. Besides, if I'm buying it now, that almost always means I need it now, not in five months.
• It's confusing and absurd to go through ones wardrobe and have to remember if any given thing fits

• Avoid unnecessary pressure to lose weight to fit into whatever it is. Why create that drama? I should be able to wear everything in my closet. 
• I've fluctuated a lot since high school, so I already have clothes that don’t quite fit right now. I have an amazing blue work dress that I looked damn good in, and right now it doesn't even zip. That can be my “lose weight and wear this” or goal pile, I don’t need any more.
• Nobody knows what size you are, so might as well buy the one that fits and looks good, and enjoy it

I hate "sizing up" as much as the next person even though I know how arbitrary it is. In the past, when I've bought something that fits and looks good, but is a size I don't like, I cut the tags out of it when I get home. Care instructions are usually on a separate tag, so there's no reason to keep the one that lists the size. I soon forget what size it was in the first place, but I have something nice that fits me well. 
Bonus: sizing up, when I need a larger size, will make me look smaller because properly fitting clothing always does.

On Morning Workouts

As I mentioned, we got up before work twice last week and went to the gym. It really is better and more convenient in basically every way to work out in the mornings. This is at least true for me, as someone with a full-time job and few outside obligations.

I am recording this for prosperity, to remind myself to get off my ass in the evenings and plan for the next day.

The Many Advantages of Morning Workouts:

• Gym is less crowded in the mornings, and newly cleaned
• Starting the day on a great note, and feeling good about myself all day
• Getting home earlier in the evenings
• No eating dinner at 9:00 PM, plus more options to have a date night or run errands
• Being forced into a better sleep schedule - got to go to sleep on time if we're going to wake up early
• Knowing calorie allotment for the day instead of debating if I should eat a bigger lunch, because I don’t know how many calories I’ll be burning later or if I’ll get stuck at work instead
• Similar bonus: Staying late at work doesn't mean missing a workout
• A feeling of superiority towards everyone on the subway, knowing that it’s unlikely they were awesome enough to work out in the morning

Love me, subway patrons. 

• Not worrying about coordinating with J
• There’s always a tiny bit of logistics in the evening, since I’m coming from work and he’s coming from home, but if we go in the morning we’re already in the same place. It also works at the end of the workout, since we split up after the gym - me to work and him back home. So he can stay a bit extra if he feels like it without making me wait
• One less clothing change
• I can go from pajamas to workout clothes to work clothes to pajamas, instead of pajamas to work clothes to workout clothes to pajamas.
• I just realized that’s actually the same, but for whatever weird reason the first one feels more convenient.

Some disadvantages: The only things on TV are morning talk shows, my time is limited because I have to go to the office, and any breakfast/lunch items that I want to bring into the office have to sit in a locker or my bag for an extra hour.

These are quite minor compared to the benefits, I just like to be thorough. 

So note to self at 8:30 PM: Get off your ass for 3 minutes and pack a gym bag. You'll be glad you did.

The "If" Word and Weight Loss

“If I can lose 40 pounds by next year, I would be really proud of that huge weight loss and would buy a pretty and flattering dress that I never could have worn at my higher weight.” 

“If I lose this weight, I’m going to buy a sexy bathing suit and wear it with confidence.”

“If I don’t have too much stress from switching jobs, I will start going to the gym three times a week.”

These are all things I’ve heard other people say fairly frequently, in Weight Watchers meetings, weight loss forums, or just average conversations about dieting. I'm sure I've said them myself. There’s nothing inherently horrible about these statements, of course, but I think there’s something to be said for the constant use of “if."

Similarly, I’ve found myself speaking with qualifiers when referring to weight loss, using words like "if," "hopefully," "maybe," or "perhaps." But I’ve realized that this is, in in a minor but real way, negatively influencing the attitudes I have about my own ability to accomplish things. Why if? All of this weight stuff is in my control; whether I weigh fifty pounds less or ten pounds more next year, it will all have been my doing.

My old Plan B.

Saying “if” (and similar words) can work as a safety net or a form of self-deprecation. 

Sometimes it stems from simple doubt. When I’m uncertain about or don’t trust my own chances of success, when the idea of a fifty-pound loss feels more like a fantasy than a possibility, I’m not going to speak confidently about my plans. I’ll say things like, “I hope that next year I’ll have lost 50 pounds,” or, “if this works, I’ll make sure to keep on the program.” I won’t say, “when I lose this weight,” because deep down I am not sure it will really happen.

Using qualifiers like “if” is also a safety net because if I don’t lose the forty pounds, or whatever the goal is, then I didn’t really fail because I never really said I could do it anyway. The "I never care about it anyway" defense, introduced in school playgrounds everywhere. The more heart I put into something, the more disappointing the failure. 

Thus I’ll avoid that whole hypothetical scenario by never really believing I can do it in the first place, and expressing that doubt through statements that begin with “if” and, “I wish” or, “I hope.” So nobody needs to remember my grand declarations about working out at 5 am each day or only eating sweets on Thursdays, because there won’t be any.

It also works as self-deprecation when speaking to others. I don’t want to sound full of myself, like I’m so sure of my success that I’m buying smaller clothes or planning a post-goal weight vacation. Weight loss is a huge and difficult accomplishment, but it’s something at which most people fail. Therefore, I say “if” to avoid sounding conceited - like someone who is so sure they can succeed where most don't.

But it’s so unnecessary. There’s nothing wrong with speaking confidently about something that, while difficult, is completely attainable and utterly in my control. I’m probably not going to start filling a “goal weight” closet, but I can do this small thing; I can be positive and try to get into a better mindset, one in which I’m confident about my capability.

A study or two has shown that optimism can actually help with weight loss - people who set higher weight loss goals and declared higher confidence in those goals lost more weight. The researchers hypothesized that the attitude helped people to see the weight loss as attainable, even inevitable.

From now on, for things like this - things completely possible and totally in my control - I will start saying “when.” If (when?) I slip up on this, feel free to let me know. But it’s a habit I want to form.

When I get to goal, when I weigh less than 150, when I lose all the weight, when I'm in maintenance mode, when, when, when. Why not? The only thing stopping me is me.

I Still Have a Ways to Go

        Last night I was not in the best place. A couple of weeks ago, I had some late work nights and it was tough, but I handled it alright. This time, I have not risen to the challenge when things got just a little bit harder.

        There were so many treats around, and the unexpected below freezing weather (snow!) combined with religious restrictions on driving and other travel meant that most of the last few days were spent in the house. Somehow there wasn't a chance to have a fun afternoon of board games, or some other communal entertainment. It was still really nice to be with my family, but I think everybody was a bit tired, ironically, after all the Seder sitting and long meals.

         I did not make the best choices. I was trying, but kept failing. I would eat a bit of something, think, alright, I didn't need that. I'm just bored, and it's here, and it's something to do for a moment. It's ok, but maybe stop picking at this food now. And then I wouldn't. And then I wouldn't again. On Tuesday I realized I just needed to stop eating in-between meals because that's when I ate all the crap that I later regret. Those little bits here and there, and here, and before I realized it, I'd eaten about 500 extra calories of sweets - just by having a macaroon, or an almond cookie, every hour or so.

Nope.

        The funny thing is that this was the version of me trying, but failing, to eat well. If I had not been trying at all, I would absolutely have eaten thousands more calories. It would have been worse because I would have stopped caring and given up on myself completely. I'm not sure where I am at the moment, calorie-wise, but I sure as hell know that's it better than some past experiences.

        So: last night found me in bed at an odd half-sitting half-laying-down angle, trying not to think about what I'd eaten, not wanting to deal with it, not wanting to do what I knew I should do, which is go on the elliptical in the basement for a bit, pack lunch for work the next day, and answer the questions about laundry that the friends looking after our apartment needed answered. Not wanting to deal with any of it, really. I wasn't in denial, I was actively procrastinating.

"Only my face in the music video, you hear me? Make it work!"

        Looking back, it's clear that some of these negative feelings were due to cabin fever - last night, I had been in the house for two days straight - and also being generally lazy about going back to work after a few days off. 

        At midnight, I packed a lunch for the next day (today), and spent a half hour on the elliptical, watching an old episode of Family Guy and wondering how on earth they get so much dirty stuff past the censors. I never felt so proud as doing those small things. Credit goes to J (husband), who was really great. He knows about and tries to understand my struggles as best he can, and is really good at cheering me up when I'm down.

Sneak hug.

        He reminded me of what I already knew but maybe needed to hear - that this isn't that big a deal, basically. It's a few days of overeating, and a few days of not working out. It's understandable, I'm still learning how to make good choices when I'm not in an environment that I control or one in which I'm used to overcoming temptations, and I'm not perfect. I don't need to get upset over my choices, I don't need to feel guilty for indulging, even if it's this whole holiday.

        At worst, if I can go back to our good habits after it's over, it will only a week out of this journey. A week won't break me unless I let it stretch into more. Despite a packed lunch today and a workout last night, the rest of this week might suck. But I'll try my best now, however many calories that means, and start next week fresh no matter what.

Happy Passover, Easter, or just weekend in general!

Holiday Fun

Why am I taking off five of the next ten work days?

Why, for the delightful holiday of Passover. I write about it here because it will impact my weight loss journey in a random array of challenges for the next week, and also because I can.

The explanation for Passover is long, but it basically is a Jewish holiday that celebrates and remembers how the Jewish people were rescued from slavery in Egypt 3,500 years ago by God working through Moses and Aaron. Part of the commemoration involves not eating any leavened (risen) bread and instead eating matzoh, which consists of only water and flour and is made from start to finish in under eighteen minutes, because the Jews left Egypt in such a hurry that the not-yet-risen bread dough baked on their backs in the hot sun.

Seders can be long.

The point of this is that starting today and ending next Tuesday night, eating well and exercising will be challenging. I won't have access to our normal gym, won't be able to track my food for several days, and will be presented with a lot of delicious food for which I have no idea of the calories or ingredients. I'll be away from home, surrounded by family who will have rare "Let's indulge in slow-cooked meats, fried things, and flour-less chocolate cake" attitudes.

 
Diet: The main rule is "no unleavened bread," but the no-nos for this culinarily challenging Holiday include: breads, pastries, rice, oats, soy, barley and most other grains, beans, peanuts and corn. The corn restriction means no cornstarch or high-fructose corn syrup, which is why you may have noticed special Heinz ketchup and Coke bottles with yellow tops, both of which are made with cane sugar instead of corn syrup.

What is allowed? Matzoh, meat, eggs, coffee, dairy products, and most vegetables and fruits are permitted.

We manage.

My Strategy

My goal is basically just not to go crazy - be aware of what I'm eating, if I want to be eating it, and how much I'm consuming. Mindless eating, or worse, eating because there's so much food and I feel like I need to have ALL of it because otherwise I'm missing out on something, is what I'm trying hard to avoid. This is especially important when I can't track and it will be easy to forget little mindless indulgences.


That's the best advice I have for myself, or for anyone else looking for tips: not to just take a bit of everything because it's there. Rather, I will try to look at the options and decide what I would really like to enjoy, and what, upon a little hesitation, I realize I don't actually care that much about. Also, I will try to remember that this is the holiday of leftovers, so chances are that the dish I don't have tonight will make a great lunch tomorrow.

I will estimate and count calories as much as possible with the aide of my husband/human calculator, and try to take long walks in the (hopefully) nice weather. I can do this. While losing a bit of weight over Passover would be wonderful, I will be very happy to just have stayed the same.

Day six.

A couple of our friends are staying at our apartment while we're gone - they were coming to New York City for Passover and needed a place, and since we'll be gone the whole time, it worked out well!

However, it also means that we needed to leave the apartment in a state where they don't need to maneuver around the clean laundry that's been sitting in the living room for three days or the long-dead flowers on the table. So yesterday it was clean, clean, clean and now we're going to eat, eat, eat.

At worst, it's only one week and I'm determined to get right back to our healthier habits after it's over.

For anyone celebrating, Happy Passover!


(Flour-less chocolate torte photo: oneforthetable.com)