Making Weight Loss Less "Don't" and More "Do"

I usually think of diet and exercise as two completely different but complimentary things. With losing weight, diet is the thing that matters because I can’t out-exercise a crappy diet. Believe me, I’ve tried.  I've realized lately why exercise can be such a good mental health compliment to dieting.

Losing weight is so, so passive. Most of it consists of NOT eating. The cupcakes at the office, the cookies at a friend's house, whatever. There are also so many evenings after dinner, when we’re just hanging out in the apartment, and I realize the only thing I need to do, or can do, in order to have a good weight loss day is to not eat. That’s a hard way of thinking sometimes - the best way to accomplish your goal at the moment is to NOT do something.

For a five hour evening, I could not eat for four hours and fifty-six minutes, and then somewhere in those last four minutes, eat three candy bars or a handful of chocolate chips. Five hour evening, and those four minutes of overeating completely calorically overwhelm the other four hours, fifty-six minutes. In another scenario, I could sit for an hour at a table with a cake on it after dinner with friends. I don’t pick at the cake for fifty-seven minutes, but then those last three... 200 calories in a single swipe of frosting and those first fifty-seven minutes kind of don’t matter.

That’s why, at least for me, working out is so good for the weight loss mentality. I see it essentially as a separate component of health. Working out makes me feel strong. It makes me feel like I’m actively doing something for my health. My favorite instructor likes to tell us how we're changing our bodies as we struggle through leg lifts. It’s not about the calories (though those are a huge perk that definitely get me to push myself), it’s about being fit. It’s about being that 90-year-old pole dancing instructor who spins circles around her 24-year-old students. She's my role model.

Weigh In: Fat vs. Muscle Edition

Another week gone. I love that the scale is out of sight and reach during the week. It forces me to focus on doing well, that day, because I can’t know if the scale is reflecting it.

This week’s numbers:

	Starting	6/8	8/19	9/30	10/29	11/19	12/31	1/7	1/14	1/21	1/28
Weight	200	191.2	182.6	181	181.4	177.6	177.2	176.6	175.8	174.8	174.6
Lbs. Fat		82.7	72.5	70.3	70.8	68.1	67.1	66.9	67.6	66.5	65.3
Lbs. Muscle		67.3	66.8	65.2	67.3	63.3	63.9	63.9	65	65.1	64.4

Well, look at that fat number back down! I’m so, so close to having more muscle weight than fat weight. That feels like a huge milestone. Net weight is about the same, but (as should be obvious from my previous post) that’s not shocking. Another funny thing is that my fat loss is higher than the total loss on the scale!

Now that it's just three weeks till my 26th birthday, I think my goal of getting to the 160s might not be in reach. I'm going to keep trying, of course, but my second goal/deadline is to get there by the end of February.

This has been a good week overall, despite the PMSing (see previous post for how that was). I worked out five times, with some strength training, brought my lunch in every day, and have been a faithful food tracker since June. 

However, I repeated my tired pattern of going overboard on Friday and Saturday and having to reel it in the rest of the week. Because it’s been a while, here is the calorie breakdown for this week (first number is gross calories, second number is net calories, so if there’s one number it means I didn’t work out):

Wednesday: 1530, 1100

Thursday: 1625, 1245

Friday: 2520, 2175

Saturday: 2200

Sunday: 1600, 940

Monday: 1585

Tuesday: 1350, 1100

So four low calorie days, two high calorie days, and one in the middle, for a net deficit about about 2260, or a little over half a pound. Obviously not ideal, since I’m aiming for a pound a week, but honestly? I’m okay with it. I really think that what I’m doing now, how I’m doing this, is a way that will stick. .6 pounds a week adds up to 30 pounds in a year. That means that if I do all the weeks exactly as I did this one, I would be at 145 next year - a weight I’ve NEVER been at as an adult.

Does it sound like I’m rationalizing a not-great week? Maybe I am, but I’m okay with that. So every week, I’m going to aim for a pound deficit - a great, sometimes lofty goal. But I’ll know that even if I can do half that, I’ll make incredible progress.

Do you have trouble going overboard on weekends?

How do you make the best of it?

Office Cake vs. Home Cake

Alright, moving on. Fine, those were a couple of harder weeks. While I did much better than I would have normally, I still didn’t do as well as I wanted. This has been a new week, a normal week, and I’ve dived right back into our gym/food tracking routine. Maybe some habits are getting more ingrained. We’re now in week five, steadily plugging along.

But I did realize some interesting things as I was shoving cookie dough in my mouth this past Saturday night. There is another dimension, so to speak, about the default settings I’m trying so hard to change - where I am.

Part of the reason this past week or two was a bit more challenging in terms of food is that we spent over half of it out of the house - first at my parent’s place, then at my MIL’s in Michigan. All of the not-as-great days happened there. It goes without saying that whatever I ate was my choice and I cannot blame anyone else for the occasions I ate too much.

I’m still working on leaning towards saying no when food is offered. In terms of work treats, I’ve made great progress - no bagels at the office breakfast, no cake at the farewell parties (except for that chocolate cake), none of the treats that co-workers randomly bring in. And it really is true that nobody cares whether or not I eat it or why, so I’ve stopped feeling self-conscious.

Oh no, it's fine. Come on in!

As I was eating that cookie dough and vaguely thinking how perhaps I should stop, I realize I probably wouldn't be doing this at home. It’s the setting as much as the actual treat that influences how good I am at turning it down (or, alternatively, deciding that the treat is worth it and enjoying some).

I’ve been able to make progress with ignoring office treats partially because the office is part of my normal routine. Even if the treat itself is special or new, the fact that I’m in the office setting makes it fairly easy to turn it down because I’m used to turning down things in the office, used to passing by the kitchen without peeking at whatever delectable has been placed out. However, that same habit doesn’t really work in new settings, places out of my routine. Turning down cake at work? No problem, I don’t even like cake that much. Turning down cake sitting on the counter at my parent’s house? Gimme.

Somehow I’m still fighting that childhood mentality, which said that parties and basically anywhere that wasn’t my house necessitated some kind of FOMO free-for-all. Treats were a rare commodity in my house, saved for once a week. No cookie jars or ice cream in the freezer. Being a little girl with a lot of issues, I sought the food that thought I was being deprived of elsewhere, anywhere. 

While I’m really proud that I’ve still eaten at “weight loss” levels for almost every day, it’s still a little frustrating that I let a new setting get the best of me. But now I know that new places, even with the same foods, can make it just a little bit harder.

Week Three: I Peeked, But Didn't Peak

Week two is over. I confess that I stepped on the scale on Friday morning, and was delighted to see 185.7. Since I weighed in at 191 just before starting this “reboot,” I’ve lost about five pounds in two weeks, right in the healthy weight range for the beginning of a diet.

Even though I am happy to know I’ve made progress, I’m a little disappointed because I messed up the whole point of not knowing my weight: to avoid focusing on it. Right now I’m re-losing weight that I already lost - twice - and then gained back - twice, three times if you count the initial gaining. No need to be reminded of or focus on that. 

No more weigh-ins. When I get tempted to dig out the scale, I’ll remind myself how great it will be to see a (hopefully) double-digit loss for these eight weeks, and that eating well and working out are just as important, if not more, than how much the scale has moved.

As my sneak peek indicated, this was a good week. Work was very slow, as is typical for summers. I will never, ever complain about not having much to do at work. I kept tracking, and we worked out four times plus a really long walk around Central Park in the lovely breeze.

Another good part of the week was that I’m learning that a day without a treat is not the end of the world, and that even if I can have something, doesn’t mean I need to do so. Shocking, right? Last night, I was debating whether to have a flatbread pizza or a loaded baked potato with the 400 calories left for the day. I realized that I could make a small dinner, somewhere around 250-300 calories and have room for a couple of pieces of chocolate. 

Just as quickly I asked myself, What are you doing? Two hundred and fifty calories is a snack or breakfast, not a dinner. I used all the calories for dinner, skipped the dessert, and the world kept turning and I didn’t go insane from lack of dessert and eat the candy aisle at the nearest drug store. So I will try to keep in mind the lesson here: Notwithstanding the occasional ice cream for dinner, a treat is something extra to have after a meal, not instead of it.

Looking ahead, tomorrow is our company’s annual summer outing, which basically translates to a relaxing day at a country club, where people bring their families and there’s an open bar by the pool. I’m trying to get the courage to go swimming, since it’s really fun with J and there’s not that much else to do besides sit by the pool and drink. I really don't want to let my own insecurity stop me from enjoying a pool on a hot day.

On Tuesday, we’re attending a goodbye dinner for J’s dad, who is moving across the country. It sucks that he won’t live so close anymore, but I guess now we have an excuse to go to California. Silver linings. And in one week, we’ll celebrate my amazing grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary.

Below is this week’s meal plan. Once again, strawberries feature prominently in the snacks. At 50 calories a cup and now $2 a pound, they will probably be a summer staple.

	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
Exercise	Gym	Pool - laps	Gym	Off	Gym	Gym	Walk
Breakfast	Coffee	Coffee, oatmeal	Coffee, yogurt	Coffee, yogurt	Coffee, oatmeal	Coffee, oatmeal	Coffee, yogurt
Lunch	Oatmeal pancakes, strawberries	Firm outing	Lemon chicken over salad, baked potato	Lemon chicken over salad, baked potato	Veggie burger, cheese, on English muffin	Veggie burger, cheese, on English muffin	TBD
Dinner	Frittata	Firm outing	Out with family	Loaded baked potato, broccoli	Flatbread pizza	Chicken, broccoli, bread
Snacks	Cheese, FroYo, fruit	Fruit	Hard boiled egg, fruit	Cheese, fruit	TBD	TBD

Today was the first day of week three, and it was a good one. Sunday is our day to have a longer gym session, and I felt like I’m continuously better at pushing myself. A while back, I wrote about how I couldn't do even one rep on one of the strength training machines they have, the overhead press machine, even on the lightest setting. (Ignore the stupid URL title.) I tried it again today and did ten reps at 25 pounds! I'm definitely getting stronger. 

After I burned an excellent 750 calories, J and I stopped for some frozen yogurt and it was delicious, especially knowing that I knew I could enjoy it, go home and have a nice dinner, and still have a great "loss" day.

I'm feeling good about this week, and the next six (thousand) weeks.

Reboot Week One: Weigh-In and Meal Plan

Sunday was the first day of my “weight-loss reboot,” as I like to call it. I’m feeling good about all of this - finally realizing what’s been holding me back (spoiler: me) and changing it up. Most of all, I’m just looking forward to making some progress. It will be good for my health, both mentally and physically.

I’m on day 3, and so far feeling good. J (my husband) and I are still consistently going to the gym, and I’m learning that I can lift/push/pull more than I think, and also that consistently challenging my body will yield the most results. We’re also trying to increase the days per week that we go, from three or four to six days a week.

Food-wise, I made a tentative meal plan for the week and went grocery shopping. I like the idea a meal plan as it solves the nightly question of what to have for dinner in a way that’s much less likely to lead to a dinner of frozen french fries, baby carrots, and a veggie burger that’s been in the freezer since Thanksgiving. I can also make at least one big dish and structure the week around it - quinoa with black beans, feta, red onion and bell peppers this week, pan fried mahi mahi next, then turkey burgers, etc. Who knows?

It helps that this stricter plan of having just 1000-1100 net calories per day (plus non-starchy vegetables) is only for the next eight weeks. When I’m tired of doing it, or it gets really hard, I’ll remind myself that even though I’ll probably never be able to stop spending a certain amount of time and effort on weight-loss and maintenance, these will hopefully be the only days where there's so little room for indulgences.

Over the next couple of months, there will be a few happy but food-challenging occasions, including a bridal shower and my firm's annual outing at a country club. I’m going to make a plan, think about what foods are worth enjoying and what foods are better to pass on, and do my best.

Here’s the Tentative Weekly Meal Plan, with Sunday-today showing what I actually had:

	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday -TBD
Breakfast	Coffee (sleep late)	Coffee, Greek Yogurt with honey	Coffee, Oatmeal with whole milk	Coffee and oatmeal	Coffee, Greek Yogurt	Coffee and oatmeal
Lunch	Oatmeal with peanut butter	Quinoa salad with feta, red onion, black beans, and bell peppers	Same as Monday	Vegetable soup with grilled cheese	Same as Monday	Same as Wednesday
Dinner	Garlic gnocchi with tomato sauce	Hot dogs on WW bread, pickles, carrots	Loaded baked potato	Veggie pizza	Loaded baked potato	Challah, roasted chicken, veggies
Snacks/ Prework	Chocolate milk, apple	Strawberries; toast with PB	Strawberries; string cheese	Strawberries, string cheese	Nectarines, string cheese	TBD

There may be more vegetables, we’ll see. My meal plan isn’t the most creative right now, but it’s foods I like and a plan I can follow.

While the good news is that I’m feeling confident for the next months (and years), there was a week or so gap between when I realized why I wasn’t losing weight, and finally starting this stricter plan. Unfortunately I got a little too much of the cursed “diet starts on Monday” mentality. I knew that I was still on my standard 1300/day plan, still working out, and there was no reason to go up in weight before I went down. But alas. I used the future diet as an excuse to have unnecessary indulgences and more than one “last hurrah” treat since I knew there wouldn’t be much room for treats, if any, on 1000 calories.

This brings me to the final weigh-in until August. J is going to log all the weight data, but I won't see it. As much as I would love to get to the 170's by the end of this, I don't want to get discouraged if the numbers don't follow.

Measurements	4/23/2014	4/30/2014	5/7/2014	5/14/2014	5/21/2014	5/28/2014	6/9/2014
Weight	188.1	188.3	185.8	187.2	186.5	187.8	191.2
Pounds Fat	79.5	81.5	78.3	79.1	78.5	78.6	82.7
Pounds Muscle	67.4	68.4	67.4	68.6	67.1	67.1	67.3

Not good at all. I hope some of that is bloat, but honestly I’m ignoring this number. It’s a “new” starting weight. Like I’ve said, feeling guilty about food and weight gain is utterly pointless (and is often an excuse for inaction). For the next 8 weeks, my focus will be on working out, eating well, and improving my eating habits.

Weekly Weigh-In: Work Events and Revelations

This is coming a bit late, but I've been trying to put some thoughts together from my results this week. Frankly, I've been doing this for three months and I'm not making close to the progress that I want to be making. I'm working out, I'm tracking, I'm trying. It's frustrating.

The positive side is that from this frustration came a much needed wake-up call. I looked over my history from myfitnesspal (I'm leahb423, feel free to friend me!) and here, did the math, and figured out some important things about my habits and (lack of) progress. The bottom line is this: despite tracking and working out, I’m just not eating on the calorie deficit I thought I was. I need to face that, and step the hell up if I want to stop maintaining. More on that later.

J and I spent the long weekend upstate with my family, and then I went to two different goodbye parties this week, one for a couple of departing co-workers and the other for a friend of ours who’s moving out of the country.

Overall it was a busier week than we’re used to - we’re usually at home most evenings - but really fun. I wasn’t as careful as I should have been over the weekend with my family, but we took a couple of lengthy walks and I tracked everything. 

I also felt pretty good and in control of myself at the two goodbye parties, aware of what I was eating and if it was worth it. I tried to focus on the people I was with and enjoy that instead of thinking about the delicious bar food available. Though the firm pays for an open bar at events like these, I stopped after two reasonably low calorie cocktails and switched to diet soda.

This is the opposite of our office motto.

In related news, due to the recent departure of two of my colleagues, I am now the most senior person of my position at my workplace. It’s not that strange, since paralegals usually cycle out after 2-3 years to go to law school or other jobs, but it’s a little unnerving that all the people I started with at my job are now gone and how quickly it changed. Thankfully, the people that have replaced them over the last year and a half are awesome, and I know how lucky I am to have a job, let alone a job with great people and that pays decently.

So here are the numbers from the week:

Measurements	4/23/2014	4/30/2014	5/7/2014	5/14/2014	5/21/2014	5/28/2014
Weight	188.1	188.3	185.8	187.2	186.5	187.8
Pounds Fat	79.5	81.5	78.3	79.1	78.5	78.6
Pounds Muscle	67.4	68.4	67.4	68.6	67.1	67.1

While I was not happy that my weight as a whole was up, fat and muscle numbers stayed the same, so maybe some of this is bloat. I worked out three times during the week, and am starting to add weight when strength training. Now I’m pushing/lifting/pulling more in the 40-50 range instead of the 30-40 range, so that’s progress.

Onto a new week, where we have ANOTHER Jewish holiday, celebrating when God gave the Jews the Torah (Bible) on Mount Sinai. How do we celebrate? Cheesecake, mostly. And blintzes. Thankfully this is the last one until the Jewish New Year in the fall.