The Most Perfect Diet That Ever Was

Whoa, that’s some pretty bleak stuff down below. Thankfully, I’ve been feeling better. Not “I’m so gonna nail this thing” awesome, but not hopeless like I was. Last night there was a happy hour to send off a departing colleague in style. After a bit of internal debate, I decided not to go. I’m not that close to this person so don’t think she’d care (or possibly notice) if I didn’t show, and I was feeling like the absolute last thing I needed was to be surrounded by tons of drinking and free, fried deliciousness. I definitely don’t want to avoid living and being social for fear of overeating, but last night it just didn’t seem worth it.

My “plan” right now is to keep with what I’ve been doing a little extra, another two weeks or so - the almost Whole30. For after that, I’m still not sure. I have really loved not counting calories, but now I’m wondering if not tracking is a sort of trigger for me. I have an idea of a semi-tracking, to allow myself unlimited veggies, lean meats, legumes, oil, and eggs, and then have limited dairy and starch that I can use how I want throughout the day. Limit sweets, and maybe up the workouts.

I do know that whatever plan I use or try - Weight Watchers, or low carb, or calorie counting - would work. Any reasonable eating plan works if you follow it, I know that. It’s not a matter of finding the “perfect” diet, but of just sticking to SOMETHING. So I need to find that something that will maybe make this a little more doable. Trying to find a plan that is the right combination of flexibility and guidelines that will maybe help me to repair my relationship with food a little.

I’m also trying really hard to get out of the “just let me lose ten pounds quickly even if not sustainably then I’ll do something more regular.” I really hate these ten pounds. They made such a difference in how I looked and felt when I lost them, even more than the first twenty did, so of course gaining them back made a big difference. But I can do this, I can take them off.

Weekly Weigh-In & A Little Bit of News

It's been a little busy around here, so this won't be the long rambling post I know you all enjoy so much.

In short, I'm really glad I got a little stricter with my food. I definitely needed  bit more structure, and it's been going very well. I have to plan more carefully since there's a lot less room for little extras, but that's the point and a good thing. Only hiccup was Friday night, when I went way off - just a wonderful, heavy meal where I almost gave up trying because of all the temptations. I'm not happy about undoing the previous day's work, yet I got right back on the next day and have been going strong.

Besides from Friday, office food has not been had, lunches have been packed and not bought (mostly), and meals have been planned. The passive voice has also been thoroughly abused.

This week's weigh-in:

	Start	6/8	8/19	9/30	10/29	12/31	1/28	2/11	2/25	3/4	3/10	3/17	3/24
Weight	200	191.2	182.6	181	181.4	177.2	174.6	174.2	177	175	173.6	172.4	172
Lbs. Fat		82.7	72.5	70.3	70.8	67.1	65.3	64.7	66.5	64.6	65.1	62.7	62.7
Lbs. Muscle		67.3	66.8	65.2	67.3	63.9	64.4	63.5	68.2	64.1	66.2	65.3	62.7

Muscle and fat match exactly this week, fat level is the same and net weight down a pound. I was hoping my effort would show on the scale since I'm confident I ate a pound's less worth of food, but I'm trusting that it will show up. After all, last week I had a loss that was definitely not the result of that week's work, but probably farther back than that. Bodies are weird. 

Onto the news: Since my manager knows and it's not a secret, I decided to share that I'm currently looking for a new job. I've learned a lot being a paralegal for the last two or three years, but it's time to figure out what I actually want to do with my career and life. My job is structured in that people usually leave after two years, for law school or another career path, so my news is not surprising to anyone at work (it's happened before with other people). I also happen to have an outstanding and supportive manager, for which I know I'm really lucky. 

So, that's that! Tell me about your week!

Another No-Sugar Challenge and Marching On

This has been a tough couple of weeks. It started with my impending birthday, and (hopefully) ended yesterday with a family friend’s wedding. The not caring, or the unable to care, the not thinking about what I was eating before I did the eating. It was just one bad day on top of another. I also spent too much time feeling sorry for myself, in a fun little bubble of self-pity and “whoa is me.” I think some of it stemmed from feeling that this weight has been coming off so excruciatingly slowly, slower than I think it should be based on calories and exercise.

This has to stop, right now. Today. Now. Because I know all too well what happens if I let this continue. And it rhymes with “blain a brother lenty tounds.”

New (Old) Challenge

So starting today, now, I’m cutting way, way, down on sugar. For now I’m just looking at the next month, so until March 23. I need to get rid of it to get back to moderation. I did it before, and it was actually easier than I had anticipated. I had a bit in my coffee, sometimes a teaspoon or two with my oatmeal or yogurt breakfasts, and a very occasional weekend treat. But I took it out of the other day to day stuff, the places where it was taking over too much - the work food, the mid-week evening treats. It didn’t matter that I was tracking the treats, they were inhibiting my weight loss. 

When I did it last time, I didn’t have the level of left out/deprivation feelings that I assumed would occur. It actually made me feel good, and in control, and strong. So I can do it again.

As for the last couple of weeks, the upside is that I kept up the tracking and working out. After tracking everything as best as possible, I am at a half-pound gain from last week (which I already mentioned in my previous post), and so far am at close to even/slight gain for this week. If I can shape up over the next couple of days, I can pull off about a 1200-calorie deficit for this week. Not too bad, considering.

I remind myself this is the bump - what I do right now, when things got a bit more difficult, is the difference between eventually succeeding or perpetually coming close and then failing. Weight loss isn’t about “if” you screw up, but what you do after it happens. Right now this is a little bump, and if I can refocus and move on from the past couple of weeks, that’s all it will be. Right?

Weigh-In: Sometimes It's Just Annoying

Last week I was disappointed that the my weight was essentially the same despite a good week, so this morning, after another on-plan week, I was expecting to be close to my birthday goal of getting out of the 170s.

The weigh-in:

	Starting	6/8	8/19	9/30	10/29	11/19	12/31	1/14	1/21	1/28	2/4
Weight	200	191.2	182.6	181	181.4	177.6	177.2	175.8	174.8	174.6	175.8
Lbs. Fat		82.7	72.5	70.3	70.8	68.1	67.1	67.6	66.5	65.3	66.8
Lbs. Muscle		67.3	66.8	65.2	67.3	63.3	63.9	65	65.1	64.4	65.2

This

And this. 

What is this sorcery? This is one of those times when I think I just have to accept that, sometimes, the scale really just doesn't reflect the last week (or two) of hard work. Still annoyed, but have to trust that my body keeps track and it will catch up. I feel like I'm riding a bike at a really high gear - pedaling so fast and hard, but barely moving.

The stats for this week: 

Workouts: 

I went to the gym six times this week, and burned a total of 3650 calories. I did one session of strength training, so will try to do another tomorrow since that's one of my February goals

Workouts included two classes - my beloved Sunday Zumba, and a step class. Holy crap, step classes are hard. They don't explain any of the moves, they just start and newbs like me try not to fall off or be too awkward when we realized we've been facing the wrong way for the last twenty seconds. 

Calories: 

I had a couple of higher calorie days, especially on the harder workouts, but it averaged out well with my "flex" calories and I ended the week with a deficit of about 3200, or close to a pound. Not that you'd see it on the scale though. (Bitter? Me?)

We went to a friend's Super Bowl party on Sunday and I told John that it would be easier not to eat any of the snack foods than to just have one chip or one pretzel or one pizza. I'm so much more about the sweet, so it would just be picking and mindless eating if I ate it. And I succeeded! Our lovely host also made a huge tray of cut up veggies, and we brought some baby carrots and hummus as well. It was a fun party, and my pride was such that you'd have thought I'd just aced the LSATs. 

Upcoming challenges this week: Nothing too challenging coming up, thankfully. However, my birthday is in a couple of weeks, and we have a wedding the weekend after that.

I'm stuck between "This is one of two days a year, literally, that I will not worry about calories and enjoy some food" and "Why lessen the week's accomplishments? Will your birthday really be so much less special if you don't eat a ton of junk food?" We'll see, I guess - though whatever happens, I WILL track it. 

Onto the next week. Really hoping my efforts show on the scale next week. I feel like I could squeak out my goal if that happens. 

Birthdays - Junk-fest-free-for-all or a chance to take a special birthday edition SoulCycle class? 

Weigh In: Fat vs. Muscle Edition

Another week gone. I love that the scale is out of sight and reach during the week. It forces me to focus on doing well, that day, because I can’t know if the scale is reflecting it.

This week’s numbers:

	Starting	6/8	8/19	9/30	10/29	11/19	12/31	1/7	1/14	1/21	1/28
Weight	200	191.2	182.6	181	181.4	177.6	177.2	176.6	175.8	174.8	174.6
Lbs. Fat		82.7	72.5	70.3	70.8	68.1	67.1	66.9	67.6	66.5	65.3
Lbs. Muscle		67.3	66.8	65.2	67.3	63.3	63.9	63.9	65	65.1	64.4

Well, look at that fat number back down! I’m so, so close to having more muscle weight than fat weight. That feels like a huge milestone. Net weight is about the same, but (as should be obvious from my previous post) that’s not shocking. Another funny thing is that my fat loss is higher than the total loss on the scale!

Now that it's just three weeks till my 26th birthday, I think my goal of getting to the 160s might not be in reach. I'm going to keep trying, of course, but my second goal/deadline is to get there by the end of February.

This has been a good week overall, despite the PMSing (see previous post for how that was). I worked out five times, with some strength training, brought my lunch in every day, and have been a faithful food tracker since June. 

However, I repeated my tired pattern of going overboard on Friday and Saturday and having to reel it in the rest of the week. Because it’s been a while, here is the calorie breakdown for this week (first number is gross calories, second number is net calories, so if there’s one number it means I didn’t work out):

Wednesday: 1530, 1100

Thursday: 1625, 1245

Friday: 2520, 2175

Saturday: 2200

Sunday: 1600, 940

Monday: 1585

Tuesday: 1350, 1100

So four low calorie days, two high calorie days, and one in the middle, for a net deficit about about 2260, or a little over half a pound. Obviously not ideal, since I’m aiming for a pound a week, but honestly? I’m okay with it. I really think that what I’m doing now, how I’m doing this, is a way that will stick. .6 pounds a week adds up to 30 pounds in a year. That means that if I do all the weeks exactly as I did this one, I would be at 145 next year - a weight I’ve NEVER been at as an adult.

Does it sound like I’m rationalizing a not-great week? Maybe I am, but I’m okay with that. So every week, I’m going to aim for a pound deficit - a great, sometimes lofty goal. But I’ll know that even if I can do half that, I’ll make incredible progress.

Do you have trouble going overboard on weekends?

How do you make the best of it?

Weigh-In, New Challenges and Changes

Good evening! 

First, here’s the weekly weigh-in:

	6/8/2014	8/19/2014	9/3/2014	9/30/2014	10/15/2014	10/22/2014	10/29/2014
Weight	191.2	182.6	182.8	181	181.6	181.6	181.4
Pounds Fat	82.7	72.5	73	70.3	70.8	71.3	70.8
Pounds Muscle	67.3	66.8	67.2	65.2	67	65.4	67.3

Essentially the same number as the previous three weeks - a bit annoying since this was the first week “back” after all the Jewish holidays, and I was hoping to lose a bit.  Overall I’m considering October a maintenance month - not ideal, but pretty good considering the challenges.

Speaking of challenges, while I’m not a huge fan of the aforementioned weight-loss related ones that life craps out, I do like making little challenges or goals for myself. In fact, I’m so committed that I’ve been trying to break into the 170s since August.

Challenges keep me accountable, keep me focused, and make things interesting. When I did the low/no sugar month, I stopped eating office food, something that had definitely been stalling my weight or at the very least, slowing it. 

I was able to do it for the month because I knew it was temporary, and then I was able to keep it going after the time ended because I realized it was a good idea, and not as impossible as I’d assumed it would be. Just today our boss brought in delicious apple fritters for everyone and put them on my desk since that was the central location at the moment, and I didn’t eat any. And it was fine, and nobody cared. So I’m going to consider October not as the month I maintained, but rather the month in which I broke a bad habit.

New challenge: starting today and through November, I want to try and stop picking at food in other setting - that piece of pasta out of the strainer, that bite of leftovers, you know what I mean. I track it, but it’s really mindless, pointless calories that I barely remember and definitely are not satisfying. Maybe there are food issues at hand, but part of the reason I do this is plain old habit. And habits can be broken.

If I can work on issues one at a time, I think I could make real long-term progress.

I’m also going to change up how I count calories so that it works better for my style and can help incorporate those “picking at food” slip-ups into the week instead of wrecking the day. 

Since March, when I started diligently tracking my food, I’ve had a daily calorie goal. It’s on the lower end of the expected range, but I ended up averaging a bit higher because of occasional high-calorie days. Sunday through Thursday, I can usually hit that target number without too much effort. I slip up some days, of course, and go over my calorie goals, but for the most part these days have routines and I often “earn” more calories by working out.

However, I didn't give myself any flexibility. This Sunday I burned 700 calories from Zumba and walking to/from the gym, and felt like I had more calories available than I really needed or wanted. And then on Tuesday, I was weirdly hungry, even after my normal breakfast. So why not take the calories I don’t need from Sunday, within reason, and save them for the rest of the week? Why not count calories weekly instead of daily? I think as long as I’m eating a healthy amount each day and have an weekly average deficit of, say, 4000-4500 calories, the daily breakdowns don’t matter as much and my weight will go down.

I’m going to copy part of the Weight Watchers plan, specifically the idea of having both daily and weekly calorie goals. Weight Watchers managed to be be flexible but stringent, if that even makes sense. Essentially there were flexible rules, and flexibility built into the plan, and if you were careful to stay (rigidly) within those flexibilities, you’d lose weight. There was a daily minimum of “food points,” and a weekly allowance that could be used at any time - all in one day or split over different days. 

So I will start giving myself weekly calories, two thousand of them, available anytime from Wednesday through Tuesday, started today. Based on my patterns, I expect to use most of them on the weekend, but again, it’s all about flexibility.

I’ll keep this up for the next four weeks, and see how I feel. I’m thinking of October as the month I stopped eating office junk, instead of the month where I struggled through holidays and barely maintained. So maybe November could be the month that I get a handle on nibbling at foods and having unplanned higher calorie days.

On an unrelated note, you might have noticed that goodnightcheese.blogspot.com is now redirecting to goodnightcheese.com, of which I am now the proud owner. Did you know they'll let anybody buy a domain?