Weekly Weigh In: "No Comment"

I do not want to write this post. Despite everything - the workouts and the calorie deficit I squeezed out this week, my weight is still not back where it should be. Why? I have no clue. This can all be summed up as: I’m still doing this, still tracking and eating right and working out. But I’m also really, really pissed. I did not gain three pounds. Yet, here they are, like an uninvited guest. But not just any guest. It's the misogynist racist from next door who won't mow his lawn and lets his dog poop on your lawn.

	Start	6/8	8/19	9/30	10/29	12/31	1/28	2/4	2/11	2/18	2/25
Weight	200	191.2	182.6	181	181.4	177.2	174.6	175.8	174.2	178	177
Lbs. Fat		82.7	72.5	70.3	70.8	67.1	65.3	66.8	64.7	67.4	66.5
Lbs. Muscle		67.3	66.8	65.2	67.3	63.9	64.4	65.2	63.5	64.2	68.2

Slightly interesting that muscle has really increased, but the fat pounds and overall weight measurement are so high! I know I had about a 1/2-1/3 pound gain last week. But not this week. And not this much.

In other news, since I joined the gym the day after my 25th birthday, last week marked my one year anniversary of being a member! I think this might be my longest period of consistent exercise, ever. It’s actually a real habit, a part of my life that I like, and I want it to stay that way forever. I want to be that 90-year-old yoga instructor.

I’ve even finally started to really take advantage of all the classes that are part of my membership. I’d been going to Zumba since the summer, but that was about it. Now I’ve tried Step, Power Dance, and Total Body Conditioning. Step was not for me - it didn’t have the camaraderie and mutual suffering bonding of most of the other classes I’ve gone to. But the other two are great, made even better by going with my gym buddy.

The first is called Power Dance. This week was our second time going, and I really enjoyed it. It’s basically learning a basic step, and then slowly adding more steps, all to different songs. There’s a ton of jumping involved so it ends up being a pretty intense workout. The only issue is that the moves seem to be the same from week to week, though the music changes. Since there aren’t that many moves in total (5-10 total, and many are very similar to each other), I wonder if that would get boring week after week, or if I would just get more comfortable with the moves and therefore be able to push myself harder - jump higher, kick harder. For now I really like it and the instructor is great.

The other new class we tried is called Total Body Conditioning. If you haven’t done it, it’s basically a group weight lifting class. Everyone gets a step, a weighted mesh pole, and some free weights. Then the instructor sets up different ways to lift, working out the entire body over the hour-long class - first arms, then legs, then abs. For each set, he plays thumping music and lets us know how long to keep going and when to rest in between sets. It takes the thinking out of weight-lifting.

Bonus that the conditioning class we’ve been going to is taught by the Power Dance instructor, so of course we really like him. That means that we’re taking two exercise classes in a row on Tuesday nights - first cardio, then strength training. So a hard 1.5-2 hour workout the night before I weigh in? Maybe I can blame that a little for these last couple of weeks?

The no/low sugar challenge is going well so far. Right now I’m not putting a blanket ban on sugar, because I like it in my coffee. Rather, I'm trying to make it a real treat instead of what it's been now, which is not worth the calories. #1 place to work on is work: first, there’s a candy bowl, plus someone puts treats in the kitchen a few times a week. Today it was mini Milky Ways in the bowl and bakery cookies in the kitchen. I didn’t have any, woot! Last week that would have been a quick 150 calories down the drain. Not necessarily a derailment, because I do have the flexible calories, but quite simply not worth it.

The other place I’m avoiding the sugar is at home. No more baking for our potluck meals, as much as I enjoy making desserts. It’s just not a good idea for me right now.

What’s your favorite exercise class?

Do you avoid making any foods for others because it’s too tempting?

Do you think I’m delusional and must be secretly hoovering frosting from the can?

Week Three: I Peeked, But Didn't Peak

Week two is over. I confess that I stepped on the scale on Friday morning, and was delighted to see 185.7. Since I weighed in at 191 just before starting this “reboot,” I’ve lost about five pounds in two weeks, right in the healthy weight range for the beginning of a diet.

Even though I am happy to know I’ve made progress, I’m a little disappointed because I messed up the whole point of not knowing my weight: to avoid focusing on it. Right now I’m re-losing weight that I already lost - twice - and then gained back - twice, three times if you count the initial gaining. No need to be reminded of or focus on that. 

No more weigh-ins. When I get tempted to dig out the scale, I’ll remind myself how great it will be to see a (hopefully) double-digit loss for these eight weeks, and that eating well and working out are just as important, if not more, than how much the scale has moved.

As my sneak peek indicated, this was a good week. Work was very slow, as is typical for summers. I will never, ever complain about not having much to do at work. I kept tracking, and we worked out four times plus a really long walk around Central Park in the lovely breeze.

Another good part of the week was that I’m learning that a day without a treat is not the end of the world, and that even if I can have something, doesn’t mean I need to do so. Shocking, right? Last night, I was debating whether to have a flatbread pizza or a loaded baked potato with the 400 calories left for the day. I realized that I could make a small dinner, somewhere around 250-300 calories and have room for a couple of pieces of chocolate. 

Just as quickly I asked myself, What are you doing? Two hundred and fifty calories is a snack or breakfast, not a dinner. I used all the calories for dinner, skipped the dessert, and the world kept turning and I didn’t go insane from lack of dessert and eat the candy aisle at the nearest drug store. So I will try to keep in mind the lesson here: Notwithstanding the occasional ice cream for dinner, a treat is something extra to have after a meal, not instead of it.

Looking ahead, tomorrow is our company’s annual summer outing, which basically translates to a relaxing day at a country club, where people bring their families and there’s an open bar by the pool. I’m trying to get the courage to go swimming, since it’s really fun with J and there’s not that much else to do besides sit by the pool and drink. I really don't want to let my own insecurity stop me from enjoying a pool on a hot day.

On Tuesday, we’re attending a goodbye dinner for J’s dad, who is moving across the country. It sucks that he won’t live so close anymore, but I guess now we have an excuse to go to California. Silver linings. And in one week, we’ll celebrate my amazing grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary.

Below is this week’s meal plan. Once again, strawberries feature prominently in the snacks. At 50 calories a cup and now $2 a pound, they will probably be a summer staple.

	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday
Exercise	Gym	Pool - laps	Gym	Off	Gym	Gym	Walk
Breakfast	Coffee	Coffee, oatmeal	Coffee, yogurt	Coffee, yogurt	Coffee, oatmeal	Coffee, oatmeal	Coffee, yogurt
Lunch	Oatmeal pancakes, strawberries	Firm outing	Lemon chicken over salad, baked potato	Lemon chicken over salad, baked potato	Veggie burger, cheese, on English muffin	Veggie burger, cheese, on English muffin	TBD
Dinner	Frittata	Firm outing	Out with family	Loaded baked potato, broccoli	Flatbread pizza	Chicken, broccoli, bread
Snacks	Cheese, FroYo, fruit	Fruit	Hard boiled egg, fruit	Cheese, fruit	TBD	TBD

Today was the first day of week three, and it was a good one. Sunday is our day to have a longer gym session, and I felt like I’m continuously better at pushing myself. A while back, I wrote about how I couldn't do even one rep on one of the strength training machines they have, the overhead press machine, even on the lightest setting. (Ignore the stupid URL title.) I tried it again today and did ten reps at 25 pounds! I'm definitely getting stronger. 

After I burned an excellent 750 calories, J and I stopped for some frozen yogurt and it was delicious, especially knowing that I knew I could enjoy it, go home and have a nice dinner, and still have a great "loss" day.

I'm feeling good about this week, and the next six (thousand) weeks.

Weekly Weigh-In: Work Events and Revelations

This is coming a bit late, but I've been trying to put some thoughts together from my results this week. Frankly, I've been doing this for three months and I'm not making close to the progress that I want to be making. I'm working out, I'm tracking, I'm trying. It's frustrating.

The positive side is that from this frustration came a much needed wake-up call. I looked over my history from myfitnesspal (I'm leahb423, feel free to friend me!) and here, did the math, and figured out some important things about my habits and (lack of) progress. The bottom line is this: despite tracking and working out, I’m just not eating on the calorie deficit I thought I was. I need to face that, and step the hell up if I want to stop maintaining. More on that later.

J and I spent the long weekend upstate with my family, and then I went to two different goodbye parties this week, one for a couple of departing co-workers and the other for a friend of ours who’s moving out of the country.

Overall it was a busier week than we’re used to - we’re usually at home most evenings - but really fun. I wasn’t as careful as I should have been over the weekend with my family, but we took a couple of lengthy walks and I tracked everything. 

I also felt pretty good and in control of myself at the two goodbye parties, aware of what I was eating and if it was worth it. I tried to focus on the people I was with and enjoy that instead of thinking about the delicious bar food available. Though the firm pays for an open bar at events like these, I stopped after two reasonably low calorie cocktails and switched to diet soda.

This is the opposite of our office motto.

In related news, due to the recent departure of two of my colleagues, I am now the most senior person of my position at my workplace. It’s not that strange, since paralegals usually cycle out after 2-3 years to go to law school or other jobs, but it’s a little unnerving that all the people I started with at my job are now gone and how quickly it changed. Thankfully, the people that have replaced them over the last year and a half are awesome, and I know how lucky I am to have a job, let alone a job with great people and that pays decently.

So here are the numbers from the week:

Measurements	4/23/2014	4/30/2014	5/7/2014	5/14/2014	5/21/2014	5/28/2014
Weight	188.1	188.3	185.8	187.2	186.5	187.8
Pounds Fat	79.5	81.5	78.3	79.1	78.5	78.6
Pounds Muscle	67.4	68.4	67.4	68.6	67.1	67.1

While I was not happy that my weight as a whole was up, fat and muscle numbers stayed the same, so maybe some of this is bloat. I worked out three times during the week, and am starting to add weight when strength training. Now I’m pushing/lifting/pulling more in the 40-50 range instead of the 30-40 range, so that’s progress.

Onto a new week, where we have ANOTHER Jewish holiday, celebrating when God gave the Jews the Torah (Bible) on Mount Sinai. How do we celebrate? Cheesecake, mostly. And blintzes. Thankfully this is the last one until the Jewish New Year in the fall.

Weekly Weigh-In: Boston

I’m writing from Boston, where we are celebrating my brother’s college graduation. We arrived late last night and spent today visiting my brother and taking a guided tour of the Freedom Trail, a marked pathway through some of Boston’s most famous historic sites. We really enjoyed it and got a good long walk in the warm, drizzly rain as a bonus. I really love all the history in this city.

Trivia: Where is Ben Franklin buried? Answer: Philadelphia, where he died, even though people come looking for him in Boston, where he was born and lived for the most famous part of his life, and even though there’s a monument with his name on it in the same cemetery where Paul Revere is buried. Other fun fact: Christopher Columbus never sat for a portrait in his life, so any paintings of him are based off of memory or descriptions.

Total crap.

This was a pretty good week, especially since it was so short. Work was slow as many of the attorneys are out of the office for various cases, which is always nice. I tracked faithfully, though did go over my daily calories. I was still at a deficit each day but not at a 1.5-2 pounds/week kind of deficit. I know,  I either need to stick with the 1300 calorie limit, or raise it and purposefully lose weight more slowly.

Anyway, here are this week’s results:

Measurements	4/23/2014	4/30/2014	5/7/2014	5/14/2014
Weight	188.1	188.3	185.8	187.2
Pounds Fat	79.5	81.5	78.3	79.1
Pounds Muscle	67.4	68.4	67.4	68.6

While I was disappointed, this number didn’t bother me too much as I am definitely, 100% bloated. I know I had a calorie deficit overall for this week, and the working out is still working out.  I’m pushing myself more. I realized that there are different kinds of ellipticals, and some lend themselves to more challenging workouts than others. So I need to keep using the tougher ones.

We went to the gym three times this week, two of them in the morning before work. Going to the gym in the mornings is something we’ve always had as a “that would be a really good idea” concept, kind of like when you run into somebody and they’re like, “Let’s have lunch!”  and everyone knows it’s not going to happen. Part of the failure is because it involves planning ahead. Apparently deciding what to wear to work in advance and going to sleep at a reasonable hour is a huge challenge for me.

There might be a couple of celebratory meals this weekend, and I’m going to keep reminding myself that this is not Paris, it’s just Boston, and nothing I’m going to eat is a unique opportunity, though it might be delicious. Besides, I live in New York City, right? I can eat anything there.

The lies will seizure you

You Can Do Things Better By Accident

When I did personal training, I learned that the ideal way to lift weights is to push each muscle to exhaustion. There’s a point where you feel like you can’t do any more repetitions, but the trainer encourages you to do a couple more, and you’re able to push yourself and your muscles to those last ones that end up mattering the most. Basically they know what you’re capable of more than you do. Usually the correct weight for a person is one at which they can do 10-15 challenging reps. During these sessions, I learned how to push myself more while working out and to actually use more than just the cardio machines.

Disclaimer: I’m repeating things I learned and that I think work for me personally, I’m not a personal trainer.

At our current gym, I started each weight machine on the lightest setting. There was one on which I could barely do one rep (overhead press), but for the most part I was doing pretty well on all the machines. I’ve even increased the weights on most of them over the last months.

This show is awful.

However, since I’m a moron, I didn’t realize until last week that I hadn’t actually started on the lightest setting. To “set” the lift amount for most weight machines, you insert a metal rod horizontally into the desired weight. So that’s what I did for each machine when I started out, putting it on the lowest number (usually 50 pounds for most arm machines) and assuming it was the lightest setting. It turns out that you can put the machine on an even lighter setting, down to 30 pounds, by inserting the metal rod vertically through another weight on the side.

I laughed when I realized, and wondered: if I had not made this mistake, and therefore had started the machines on their actual lightest settings, would I have noticed? Would I have realized that I could lift much more (at least comparatively)? How much have I been holding myself back because I assume I’m not able to do it, when really I just need to learn how to push myself?

In other news, we are headed out this weekend for my brother's college graduation. I still think of him as being fourteen, but apparently he's graduating from college. While it's going to be an exciting weekend, I'm anticipating a lot of food challenges. 

I'm still so, so far from where I want to be. Sometimes it feels like, yay, you're going to the gym, now lose some damn weight, and nothing rationalizes away the frustration. Tomorrow is the next weigh-in, and I hope to at least have maintained last week's great loss, if not more. I worked hard this week. I'm tracking, I'm trying. Gah.