Weekly Weigh-In and Strength Training Update

This was another good week, though I repeated my pattern of eating too much one weekend evening and therefore having a lot fewer of those weekly flexible calories during Sunday-Wednesday. I went to the gym five times so those extra calories helped me succeed in having a 1300/day average. However, I’d like to work on not getting like that in the first place. The most annoying thing about it, funnily enough, is that I don’t know how many calories I ate. I know I ate too much of the amazing chocolate chunk challah, but how much too much? 500 calories? 800 calories? I rounded it off as best I could and moved on, but I need to pay more attention in these situations.

On Tuesday, my Zumba friend and I tried out a different class at another of our gym’s locations. It was fun, but had a lot more emphasis on hips/gyrating movement. And I thought I looked uncoordinated doing dance steps...ah well. I’ve improved at my regular Zumba class, so I’d improve here too.

Guess which one I am?

This week’s weigh-in:

	6/8/2014	8/19/2014	9/30/2014	10/29/2014	11/6/2014	11/12/2014
Weight	191.2	182.6	181	181.4	179.6	179.6
Pounds Fat	82.7	72.5	70.3	70.8	70.3	68.8
Pounds Muscle	67.3	66.8	65.2	67.3	65	67.7

Weight is the same, which is actually great because I was worried that the previous week was just a fluctuation. Also, look at the fat! I’m now down fourteen full pounds of fat from when I started in June, and haven’t lost any muscle in the process, which is hard to avoid with weight loss. That kicks ass. Or more accurately, I kick ass.

I will probably lose some muscle eventually since I don't think I'd end up with 70 pounds of muscle on a 135-pound frame, but it's great to have lost purely fat till now. 

I think part of that is because of my workouts, but more specifically the strength training. Since July, I’ve been trying to do it at least once or twice a week. I keep track of the weight and reps I do on my phone, and try to up the weight when it gets too easy - for me, that means I can do at least 15 repetitions. When I first started, I put all the machines on the lightest setting (at least I intended to), and I'm making my way up the weights.

Here’s a before and now for the amount of weight I use, in pounds - I use my made-up names for the machines, but put the real names in parentheses.

	July	November
Reverse Pull-Ups (Lateral Pull Down)	55	80
Raise the Roof (Overhead Press)	30	65
Slow Crumping (Vertical Chest)	35	50
Show off Your Pecs (Preacher Curl)	30	40
Defy Gravity (Seated Dip, just started on this one last month)	70	75
My Arms! (Dual Axis Row )	50	85

Most of the time, I don't use every machine every time, but I do as many reps and possible - slow and steady - until I've exhausted the muscle. It's pretty much the method I learned when I did strength training with an actual trainer, and since I'm getting stronger (and trainers cost more than God), I'm sticking with it for now.

Anyone else strength train? I want to hear about it!

Complimenting Weight Loss and Weekly Weigh-In

This has been a pretty good week - I went to the gym almost every day, and pushed myself in the workouts. My Zumba friend and I had a blast at our class, and I’m thinking of trying another one during the week. I’ll say for the last time - I am so happy to be back to regularly schedule programming. The holidays were hard, and I didn’t do as well as I’d hoped, but they’re over now so I’m focusing on what I can actually influence.

This week’s weight, and last week's that I didn't get around to posting:

	6/8/2014	8/19/2014	9/3/2014	9/17/2014	9/30/2014	10/15/2014	10/22/2014
Weight	191.2	182.6	182.8	180.4	181	181.6	181.6
Pounds Fat	82.7	72.5	73	72.1	70.3	70.8	71.3
Pounds Muscle	67.3	66.8	67.2	64.4	65.2	67	65.4

Quite frankly, I’m thrilled. I think the not-so-good holidays managed to be balanced out by really successful in-between days. Normally I would have said “screw it, why bother to get back on track for four days when it’s just going to be another holiday?” This time, though, I realized it was worth it. Weight loss is really all about the long term, so if in the long term I gain a pound or two over a holiday period (because really, that’s all it is) and then back on track the rest of the time, it doesn’t have to have such an effect. Maybe October will be 170s month? Probably not, but considering that it was about 1/3 holiday, I think it's good.

Speaking of weight loss (which in this space, is most of the time) - a while back, when I was heating up my breakfast in the office kitchen, one of the managers politely asked me if I had lost weight. I may have hugged her. She is the first person who doesn’t know that I’m trying to lose weight to notice. I still don’t see a huge difference, but this shows that something is changing.

Complimenting weight loss can be a tricky business. For a while there in 2012, I was steadily losing weight. Thus for people who only saw me every so often, like my gap year abroad friends, I was smaller each time we would get together. They would usually notice and make a comment about it. Some people do not like to be complimented on their weight loss, but I’m not one of them. I like when my hard work is noticed, and it validates that I’m actually accomplishing something tangible, a good reminder for harder days.

I got a little uncomfortable when I started gaining weight, and not just because my pants were too tight. Rather, I would see the same people, and it would be clear to all that I had definitely not lost weight since we’d last seen each other. One memorable time, I saw some friends and when we were greeting each other, one of them said how great I looked, almost in a habitual way. This was unfortunately at a point where I had regained about twenty pounds since the last time I saw them, and was rocking out at about 175. It was a little awkward because I said “Thanks,” but was thinking “No, I don’t, and we both know it."

Despite that, I’m still for weight loss compliments. Almost any accomplishment can be undone, so to speak - weight can be gained, jobs can be lost, medals can be rescinded, governments can fall - either by the person who accomplished it or outside forces. Maybe I'll gain back the weight, but I still enjoy someone noticing on the way down.

Weigh-In After Holidays & What All Those Jewish Holidays Are

Sunday was the end of another holiday period, this time at my parents’ house. It did not go well. There will be another holiday/the tail end of this holiday starting in two days.

To back up slightly, I guess it’s time to explain what all of these vague holidays are to which I’m constantly referring. Feel free to skip the next two paragraphs, obviously. So I’m Jewish, and we have numerous holidays in general, but three that fall close together in the fall. We recently celebrated the Jewish New Year, followed ten days later by a day of repentance called Yom Kippur, in which we believe we are judged for our deeds, good and bad throughout the year. Despite the solemnity, it’s actually considered a happy holy day, one in which we get to “start over,” really reflect on our actions the past year, and think of what to do better in the future.

Currently, we are celebrating the holiday of Sukkot (Soo-kote), an eight-day festivity that culminates with a separate but related holiday in which we celebrate when God gave the Jews the Bible after having led them out of Egypt. Sukkot is two-fold: it is a celebration of the harvest, and also when we remember our ancestors wandering the desert for forty years and only living in temporary huts. Why were we wandering? The excellent joke answer is that the Jews wandered for so long because Moses wouldn’t stop and ask for some damn directions, but the religious answer is that the Jewish people had make a huge boo-boo right after they got the Bible and were being punished. The holiday is eight days, on which additional restrictions (no electricity, no work, no driving/trains/planes, no writing) are in place during the first two and last two days. 

We just had the first two days, now we’re in the middle where it’s business as usual with a few traditions thrown in, and starting on Wednesday night, we’ll celebrate the rest of holiday and have the restrictions again.

What do we do during this time? Pray, eat, sleep, play board games, take walks, take naps, have long discussions, read, learn, unplug from life. It’s actually a great deal, except when you’re me and trying so hard to stay healthy.

So that’s that. If you skipped the above, basically it’s like having Thanksgiving in your house - lots of food, family, and friends. But for two meals a day, for three days. And you can’t go to the gym, write down/track your food intake, or buy anything.

I just ended one of those periods, and it didn’t go how I’d hoped. I had been planning to leave work early on Wednesday, but it got unexpectedly stressful, I left later than I intended, and didn’t get to break for lunch (or at all). Then my train home got delayed, so I got out late, stressed, hungry, and a little hormonal. Not a good combination or start to the holiday. So I overindulged on Wednesday, ending the day annoyed at myself but trying to look ahead to the rest of the holiday. 

But I didn’t have a plan, couldn’t track, hadn’t had the chance to exercise on Wednesday - I don’t even know what happened, but I’m pretty sure I gained. There were some times when I picked and chose alright, like having bread at a meal, but no rice or potatoes, or just splitting a cookie with J. But mostly I got overwhelmed by the sheer amount of food in front of me. My family is pretty healthy, and desserts were saved for weekends and special occasions. But this WAS the special occasion, and I went in knowing that there would be a huge amount of food available, all the time, with no thought as to how I might avoid partaking too much.

Over the Jewish New Year, which we celebrated with J’s family in Michigan, I spent so much time and energy worrying about food, and after all that I only managed to essentially maintain my weight. I didn’t want to repeat that this time, but rejecting that plan and not coming up with a new plan left me with zero plans. If I had had a plan, I might have eaten it.

There is, of course, a giant ‘but’ to all this. A lovely ‘but’ with a bright side and a silver lining. And that is, it was only a couple of days. Even if I do equally as crappy during the next (and final!) days of holy this week, it’s still only a few days. I won’t gain back twenty pounds over a week, even though I might gain one or two. Therefore, as long as I can immediately and completely forgive myself from any overindulging over these holidays, and get right back to tracking, exercising, and healthy eating, I’ll be fine.

Yesterday I went to my Zumba class, tracked my food, and today was equally successful. And I’ll do my best over the holiday (come up with a new plan?) - but no matter what, next Sunday I will get back into the groove again, accept whatever gain, maintain, or lose I get, and keep working. I will get to the 170s.

As of yesterday, I am at 182.5 - up, but not as badly as I thought it would be.

When Motivation Fades

I'm glad August is over. Some happy-but-food-challenging events happened this week, like the birthday of a good friend who has been away for the summer, whose celebration involved three giant pizzas for ten people. Then there were some stressful things, like someone close to me going through some crappy stuff, and storing 20 boxes of our friend’s random crap in our tiny apartment. Apologies for the vague-blogging, I’m mostly just trying to get across that this week was hard, and I let worrying about food and calories fall to the bottom of the list. I was trying to track, went to the gym a few times, but couldn’t get myself to feel motivated.

I did end up tracking everything as best I could, and it seems I came out about even, and maybe even a thousand calories or so under. So maybe I’m actually getting better at this, at least a little? That a crappy week which followed an indulgent weekend, where I’m trying to track but all I really want is a vanilla twist on a cone with rainbow sprinkles, doesn’t have to set me back totally? (Chocolate sprinkles are for people who hate joy.) Perhaps I’m getting better at having a crappy week?

Right now, even for the last couple of weeks, I’ve been trying to push through, trying to keep going, waiting and hoping for some of that motivation to come back better. You know the cliches about how “The days when it’s most important to exercise are usually the days you most need it” or "if you wait for your perfect conditions to start, you never will"? They feel true. It’s not about what I did in June and July, when I had a whole “eight week reboot”, all energetic, tracking, motivated, feeling excited for the start of something.

But I joined in February!

Rather, it’s what I do now, when the newness (of another restart) has faded, when the weight loss slows, when life happens - that’s what matters. When I lost those fifty pounds, I certainly wasn’t feeling all go-getter and motivated during the entire process, because that’s impossible. But I still tried and still did it, even when I wanted to do anything else but. I kept trying, and all those little days added up (or rather, down) to a weight loss of fifty pounds.

Yesterday, I was trying to get right back into it.  I went to Zumba with my new workout friend and we walked to and from the gym. I still dance like a drunken zebra and can’t figure out how some of these people manage to move their feet, hips, and arms in different but synchronized ways, but it’s fun and burns 500 calories a class. It was a good day; we did some apartment organization and I made us gnocchi with marinara, and roasted asparagus, for dinner.

Today, we went to my parent’s house to celebrate Labor Day and my grandmother’s birthday. I made a chocolate cake for the occasion. I managed to have a good lunch and not eat 2/5 of the frosting. I wouldn’t call my food at dinner a success, but it wasn’t a total fail either. I’m still plugging along, trying to at least eat mindfully and decide if something is worth it.

Moving on - Despite the fact that the last couple of weeks weren’t too bad, I did not make my goal of getting into the 170’s by September. That kind of sucks, since it was well within my reach and I just want to get out of the 180s already. Thus I have an obvious goal for September. Begone 180s, and your little dog too! Beyond that, 175 is my next small goal, mostly because it’s a round number and solidly in the 170s.

This month is going to be hard. There are some Jewish holidays, one of which will involve a long weekend in Michigan, away from habits and routines. Work is going to start getting busy again, as all the attorneys come back from their summer vacations and realize how much shit they need to get done. But I’m going to remember that cliche that is so right, that my weight loss will not be accomplished on those few days when everything is right and I feel great, but rather on the normal, mundane days, where I try to eat right, to shape my habits and reshape my relationship with food.

Minor motivation: I got to see a friend of mine who just had a baby and meet her teeny, beautiful, week-old son. We took a photo together and I looked more like I had given birth a week ago than she did. I still forget that I weigh 180-185 pounds, despite seeing it on the scale.

Weekly Weigh In and Zumba

This was a pretty good week, though there’s a lot going on - J is starting school again soon, we’re going to have a guest staying with us for a week, we’re trying to reorganize our apartment so it’s more functional, and I’m starting a job search. I love my work, especially my boss and co-workers, but my position is an entry-level one in which people usually move on after a couple of years, and I think I’m ready for a new challenge. While I'm still tracking and working out, I'm slipping on the packing lunches and not eating office candy front. I'm eating more from the candy bowl again and then being annoyed when I can't "afford" a treat in the evenings.

Food-wise, I am slipping on the Friday front. Just something about getting home for the weekend makes me feel like I deserve a little treat. However, in the past, those Fridays would have been an actual free-for-all whose calorie intakes would have put me squarely in the “gain” box for the day. Now, while I definitely ate too much this Friday to have a calorie deficit for that day, I didn't affect the rest of the week. However weird it sounds, this is actually something I’m proud of. Ramble over.

This week’s weigh in:

Measurements	June 8th	August 4th	August 12th	August 20th
Weight	191.2	184	183	182.6
Pounds Fat	82.7	74.5	70.4	72.5
Pounds Muscle	67.3	68.2	66.4	66.8

The good thing about tracking calories is that I can judge the number on the scale and decide if it makes sense, based on how many calories I know I've eaten over the week. A nice change of pace for that judgey electronic bitch. So while I was disappointed to see I'd lost half a pound this week, I know I had a calorie deficit of over a pound. I'm still hoping to make my Labor Day goal to be in the 170's, but we'll see.

We can have a cordial relationship because I know you're mistaken, and that's ok.

In fitness “news,” I took my first Zumba class this week. I've been wanting to try this class ever since I heard of a workout that claimed to combine club dancing with cardio, but just never got the courage to go alone. So when I ran into an acquaintance who happens to belong to my same gym, I asked her if she might like to try out Zumba. I can’t believe I hadn't taken advantage of the classes that are included in my membership until now.

The class was awesome. I’ve heard the the instructor can make or break Zumba, and Vicky was fantastic. She was enthusiastic, encouraging, and mixed up the moves. I had fun, even though I definitely made many missteps. However, they got fewer as the class went on and I learned the instructor’s various hand movements. The other members were friendly, and I never felt like anyone was judging anyone else.

And with the fun, hot damn that’s a workout. In the 55-minute class, I burned 550 calories - basically as much as jogging but was having too much fun to even notice. This class was a good way to break up the regular workout week, and I could even see it helping me with my coordination, which is similar to that of a drunk goat. We plan to go again this weekend.

February

Things that have happened:

- A few days ago, I officially signed a gym contract. Previously we were signed up for a 30-day "pass" to see how we like the facilities and how crowded it is during peak times. It's a good gym, with a lot of locations, including one right near my office and one close to home. So far we've gone about 3-4 times a week, a pattern I really want to keep up. They also have classes, and despite always having been interested in Zumba, I've never tried it.

The best part, besides the convenient locations, is that they have individual monitors attached to most of the cardio machines. I love feeling virtuous while watching reruns of CSI.

I don't look like this.

- The scale hasn't been moving, and I've recently realized the obvious. It's a classic eating-tracking-exercising Sunday through Thursday, followed by indulging too much and thinking too little on Friday and Saturday. I usually slip on tracking those days, so I need to just accept that I must be eating more than I think, and it's enough to stall the progress from the other days.

- I have had some minor victories of which I'm proud: Not ditching my lunch for the bagels in the kitchen at work, thinking (more) about what I'm eating, and why I'm eating it, and cooking and freezing things so that I have options when I'm lazy and hungry. I've also stopped feeling self-conscious about weighing food at work.

- I put a bunch of too-small clothes into a box. No constant reminders that I'm larger than I used to be taking up precious space in a tiny closet. I'll hopefully bring them out again in a few months.

I know it's either keep going or stay the way I am, so I'm going to keep going.