Reboot Week One: Weigh-In and Meal Plan

Sunday was the first day of my “weight-loss reboot,” as I like to call it. I’m feeling good about all of this - finally realizing what’s been holding me back (spoiler: me) and changing it up. Most of all, I’m just looking forward to making some progress. It will be good for my health, both mentally and physically.

I’m on day 3, and so far feeling good. J (my husband) and I are still consistently going to the gym, and I’m learning that I can lift/push/pull more than I think, and also that consistently challenging my body will yield the most results. We’re also trying to increase the days per week that we go, from three or four to six days a week.

Food-wise, I made a tentative meal plan for the week and went grocery shopping. I like the idea a meal plan as it solves the nightly question of what to have for dinner in a way that’s much less likely to lead to a dinner of frozen french fries, baby carrots, and a veggie burger that’s been in the freezer since Thanksgiving. I can also make at least one big dish and structure the week around it - quinoa with black beans, feta, red onion and bell peppers this week, pan fried mahi mahi next, then turkey burgers, etc. Who knows?

It helps that this stricter plan of having just 1000-1100 net calories per day (plus non-starchy vegetables) is only for the next eight weeks. When I’m tired of doing it, or it gets really hard, I’ll remind myself that even though I’ll probably never be able to stop spending a certain amount of time and effort on weight-loss and maintenance, these will hopefully be the only days where there's so little room for indulgences.

Over the next couple of months, there will be a few happy but food-challenging occasions, including a bridal shower and my firm's annual outing at a country club. I’m going to make a plan, think about what foods are worth enjoying and what foods are better to pass on, and do my best.

Here’s the Tentative Weekly Meal Plan, with Sunday-today showing what I actually had:

	Sunday	Monday	Tuesday	Wednesday	Thursday	Friday	Saturday -TBD
Breakfast	Coffee (sleep late)	Coffee, Greek Yogurt with honey	Coffee, Oatmeal with whole milk	Coffee and oatmeal	Coffee, Greek Yogurt	Coffee and oatmeal
Lunch	Oatmeal with peanut butter	Quinoa salad with feta, red onion, black beans, and bell peppers	Same as Monday	Vegetable soup with grilled cheese	Same as Monday	Same as Wednesday
Dinner	Garlic gnocchi with tomato sauce	Hot dogs on WW bread, pickles, carrots	Loaded baked potato	Veggie pizza	Loaded baked potato	Challah, roasted chicken, veggies
Snacks/ Prework	Chocolate milk, apple	Strawberries; toast with PB	Strawberries; string cheese	Strawberries, string cheese	Nectarines, string cheese	TBD

There may be more vegetables, we’ll see. My meal plan isn’t the most creative right now, but it’s foods I like and a plan I can follow.

While the good news is that I’m feeling confident for the next months (and years), there was a week or so gap between when I realized why I wasn’t losing weight, and finally starting this stricter plan. Unfortunately I got a little too much of the cursed “diet starts on Monday” mentality. I knew that I was still on my standard 1300/day plan, still working out, and there was no reason to go up in weight before I went down. But alas. I used the future diet as an excuse to have unnecessary indulgences and more than one “last hurrah” treat since I knew there wouldn’t be much room for treats, if any, on 1000 calories.

This brings me to the final weigh-in until August. J is going to log all the weight data, but I won't see it. As much as I would love to get to the 170's by the end of this, I don't want to get discouraged if the numbers don't follow.

Measurements	4/23/2014	4/30/2014	5/7/2014	5/14/2014	5/21/2014	5/28/2014	6/9/2014
Weight	188.1	188.3	185.8	187.2	186.5	187.8	191.2
Pounds Fat	79.5	81.5	78.3	79.1	78.5	78.6	82.7
Pounds Muscle	67.4	68.4	67.4	68.6	67.1	67.1	67.3

Not good at all. I hope some of that is bloat, but honestly I’m ignoring this number. It’s a “new” starting weight. Like I’ve said, feeling guilty about food and weight gain is utterly pointless (and is often an excuse for inaction). For the next 8 weeks, my focus will be on working out, eating well, and improving my eating habits.

Duh: Realizations and a New Plan

Based on my weight, body fat percentage and muscle percentage, I have made little progress over the last three months. We joined the gym in February and have been using it several times a week since, and I started tracking my food and limiting my calories in the beginning of March.

My body has definitely improved in those months: My waist and hips are a little trimmer, my arms and legs have more definition, and I feel that I’m stronger all around and have increased endurance. However, despite these minor physical changes, I’m basically still where I started three months ago.

I’ve been upset, and still hate seeing my rounded face in photos. I’ve tried not to think about how I had expected to lose twenty pounds by now, but instead I’m still wearing a 14 and size Large in most things and nobody who doesn’t know I’m trying to get into shape has seemed to notice any changes. So what gives?

Let me back up a moment.

My weight loss approach to each day has been simple: I can either have a “loss” day, in which I have a calorie deficit, a “maintenance” day, where I eat exactly the number of calories I would need to maintain my weight, which is about 1800 calories, or a “gain” day, where I go above the maintenance level. Every day I start over. It’s nice to know that I have the possibility of losing weight each day, even if it’s only a fraction of a pound. Each day’s weight losses or gains are negligible; but combined, they’re what adds up to fifty pounds gained or lost in a year.

Over these months, I’ve been aiming for a net of 1250-1300 calories, with Saturday and sometimes Friday at a maintenance  or lesser loss level, and 3-5 gym sessions per week. I’ve been pushing myself at the gym, and tracking perhaps five or six out of seven days, carefully weighing and measuring all my food and tracking it all in MyFitnessPal (leahb423, if you’re also on).

Most of these weeks have ended with me getting increasingly annoyed as the scale didn’t move. While I was frustrated at the lack of progress I felt I’d earned, I recently realized the obvious: I just haven’t been doing the math.

According to various Internet sources, I burn about 1800 calories in an average, no exercise day. Thus if I want to lose a pound a week, I need to eat about 1300 calories per day, plus whatever extra I’ve burned off. Alternatively, I could eat more on some days and less on others as long as the total weekly deficit adds up to 3,500 calories.

I think my stagnation boils down to a few simple things:

1) I let myself indulge, have a “maintenance” day on weekends where sometimes I didn’t even track anything

2) being satisfied with only a 200-350 calorie deficit for the other days

3) Two or three crappy, PMS-ing, bored, overeating days every month or so

Those things combined don’t steady weight loss make. If it takes a 3,500 calorie deficit to lose one pound in a week, and I only have a 1000-1750 calorie deficit from Sunday-Thursday, and then I allow myself a zero deficit day or a “lesser” deficit day - well, that’s maybe a pound or two a month. Combine that with sporadic splurging weeks where I end up with no deficit or, in the case of Passover, where I go over my calories, then there is not really any point where there is steady weight loss. Even with regular exercise.

This seems obvious as I write it, but somehow it didn’t hit me that the only way I could lose a pound a week on this plan would be to get that full 500-calorie deficit every day during the week.

Out of the many weight-loss mantras that I heard sprouted around the Internet and in Weight Watchers, one that stuck in my head was this: If you put in 80% of the work, you’ll get 80% of the results. With weight loss, just one or two hundred calories each day can be the difference between losing twenty pounds over a year, or gaining twenty. So maybe for weight loss, putting in 80% of the work can actually yield zero results. I got to the gym, I track most of the time, I weigh, I measure - that’s the 80%. But then I don’t track on one or two days, or I go a little over. That 20% is killing me.

To illustrate my point, I went back over a recent four-week period to see exactly what I’d been doing. Note this was a time when I was tracking almost everything, including the milk in my morning coffee, and working out, and felt I should have been losing weight - but wasn’t.

Four Week Period from April 28-May 25

• Week of Apr. 28-May 4
• 3 workouts
• Tracked 5 calorie deficit days, did not track two days
• Deficits ranged from 300-500

• Week of May 5-11
• 3 workouts
• Tracked 6 days, with an average of 400 over optimal weight loss caloric intake - some 200 over, one 600 calories over  

• Week of May 12-18 
• 5 workouts
• Tracked 5 days tracking, over from 50-300 on each day, 2 non tracking over days

• Week of May 19-25 
• 6 workouts 
• Tracked 5 days, over 100-200 for all days, with one day at over 500 above “losing” level

Ouch. Out of those 28 days, I didn’t track a full 25% of them, and went over the 1300 calorie limit on most of the days I did track. No wonder I’m not losing weight!

I’m tiring of being frustrated, and done doing this half-assed.

The new plan: 

I will aim to eat 1000-1100 net calories per day, and to exercise 5-6 days a week. On days I work out, I will eat back as many of those calories as I want or need.

This is the plan for the next eight weeks, starting on Sunday and ending on August 3rd. After those 56 days, I will see how I’m doing, see how I feel, and possibly up my daily calories. I probably don’t want to eat just 1000-1100 calories for the rest of the my weight loss journey, but for this little slice in time, where I’ve been pathetically, whine-nily treading for months, I need to start.

As a side note, J suggested that he track my weight for this time so I’m not focused on whether or not I’m losing enough. I decided that would be a good idea, so I will either wait the whole eight weeks or more likely, make him tell me after a month. Sometimes I can’t believe that my husband knows what I weigh, and that it’s now more than he does (shame), and he doesn’t seem to care, but this is just reason #423 why he’s a great husband.

Anyway. Join me as I finally kick this weight loss in the ass. Week 1 starts on Sunday.

It's stuck in your head now too.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. I am doing what works for me. I am barely over five feet tall, and I personally don’t go by the assumption that 1200 net calories is a magical, universal number under which all women of all heights and builds will have their bodies slip into starvation mode.

Weekly Weigh-In: Work Events and Revelations

This is coming a bit late, but I've been trying to put some thoughts together from my results this week. Frankly, I've been doing this for three months and I'm not making close to the progress that I want to be making. I'm working out, I'm tracking, I'm trying. It's frustrating.

The positive side is that from this frustration came a much needed wake-up call. I looked over my history from myfitnesspal (I'm leahb423, feel free to friend me!) and here, did the math, and figured out some important things about my habits and (lack of) progress. The bottom line is this: despite tracking and working out, I’m just not eating on the calorie deficit I thought I was. I need to face that, and step the hell up if I want to stop maintaining. More on that later.

J and I spent the long weekend upstate with my family, and then I went to two different goodbye parties this week, one for a couple of departing co-workers and the other for a friend of ours who’s moving out of the country.

Overall it was a busier week than we’re used to - we’re usually at home most evenings - but really fun. I wasn’t as careful as I should have been over the weekend with my family, but we took a couple of lengthy walks and I tracked everything. 

I also felt pretty good and in control of myself at the two goodbye parties, aware of what I was eating and if it was worth it. I tried to focus on the people I was with and enjoy that instead of thinking about the delicious bar food available. Though the firm pays for an open bar at events like these, I stopped after two reasonably low calorie cocktails and switched to diet soda.

This is the opposite of our office motto.

In related news, due to the recent departure of two of my colleagues, I am now the most senior person of my position at my workplace. It’s not that strange, since paralegals usually cycle out after 2-3 years to go to law school or other jobs, but it’s a little unnerving that all the people I started with at my job are now gone and how quickly it changed. Thankfully, the people that have replaced them over the last year and a half are awesome, and I know how lucky I am to have a job, let alone a job with great people and that pays decently.

So here are the numbers from the week:

Measurements	4/23/2014	4/30/2014	5/7/2014	5/14/2014	5/21/2014	5/28/2014
Weight	188.1	188.3	185.8	187.2	186.5	187.8
Pounds Fat	79.5	81.5	78.3	79.1	78.5	78.6
Pounds Muscle	67.4	68.4	67.4	68.6	67.1	67.1

While I was not happy that my weight as a whole was up, fat and muscle numbers stayed the same, so maybe some of this is bloat. I worked out three times during the week, and am starting to add weight when strength training. Now I’m pushing/lifting/pulling more in the 40-50 range instead of the 30-40 range, so that’s progress.

Onto a new week, where we have ANOTHER Jewish holiday, celebrating when God gave the Jews the Torah (Bible) on Mount Sinai. How do we celebrate? Cheesecake, mostly. And blintzes. Thankfully this is the last one until the Jewish New Year in the fall.

"Goal Weight" Clothes are Pointless

I recently bought some spring clothes, as most of my clothes are either too small or meant for winter. I got some nice brightly colored tops, sandals, and a few dresses. New sunglasses were also necessary, since the pair I’d had for the last ten years finally broke. I bought them for $10 at a random highway stop stand when I was fifteen and they served me well.

I like having nice new clothes, but I don't love shopping, especially as a size 14. I've talked about the annoyance of vanity sizing, and it's still going strong. Yesterday I went to work in some of my new clothes: a dress, size XL, and a white cardigan, size medium. Both are fitted pieces and were flattering. I think they may have even been the same brand. This makes no sense.

Context. Thanks for the inspiration Kara 

While vanity sizing is an equal opportunity exasperation, fun for everyone from obese to petite, shopping while trying to lose weight has a unique challenge: the temptation to buy something that’s just a little too small. Why not? you say. I’ll fit into this dress when I weigh fifteen pounds less, it’s such a nice dress, such a good price, let me just buy it and wear it in a couple of months when I’m thinner.

I’m not the savviest of shoppers, but as a person who has fluctuated from 145-200 pounds since high school, there is one shopping rule I've learned to follow: Always, always, buy the size you are now. Always buy what fits and is comfortable today.

Sometimes when I see women buying clothing with the promise to lose some weight in order to actually wear it, it looks like a punishment. It's a hint that they don’t deserve to wear the item until they've lost weight. This attitude seems especially prevalent in bridal shops.

But I’m not going to punish myself for being fat by buying pretty clothes I can’t wear. There are already enough “negative” reasons for me to lose weight - I’m not comfortable in my body, I’m not healthy - I don’t need too tight clothing as another reminder of what I haven't accomplished.

So I buy what fits now. It just makes more sense.

• When (yes!) I do lose weight, I can have clothing taken in. So if I really love something that I bought a few months ago and is now too big, I probably don’t have to say goodbye to it completely
• It’s impossible to predict how my body will change as I lose - perhaps my waist will be thinner in proportion  to my hips than they are now. 
• This is also a reason against buying a goal style - like a bikini or skinny jeans
• A few years ago my sister lost about 25 pounds. She went down two sizes, but her larger-than-average chest stayed the same. If she had bought a cute but too small top at her heavier weight, it might not have ever fit
• Why not buy something I can wear tomorrow? Why fill my wardrobe with things I can't wear?
• It’s nice to wear something new. Besides, if I'm buying it now, that almost always means I need it now, not in five months.
• It's confusing and absurd to go through ones wardrobe and have to remember if any given thing fits

• Avoid unnecessary pressure to lose weight to fit into whatever it is. Why create that drama? I should be able to wear everything in my closet. 
• I've fluctuated a lot since high school, so I already have clothes that don’t quite fit right now. I have an amazing blue work dress that I looked damn good in, and right now it doesn't even zip. That can be my “lose weight and wear this” or goal pile, I don’t need any more.
• Nobody knows what size you are, so might as well buy the one that fits and looks good, and enjoy it

I hate "sizing up" as much as the next person even though I know how arbitrary it is. In the past, when I've bought something that fits and looks good, but is a size I don't like, I cut the tags out of it when I get home. Care instructions are usually on a separate tag, so there's no reason to keep the one that lists the size. I soon forget what size it was in the first place, but I have something nice that fits me well. 
Bonus: sizing up, when I need a larger size, will make me look smaller because properly fitting clothing always does.

Weekly Weigh-In

I had a great weekend in Boston, enjoying my brother’s college graduation, the Red Sox spirit everywhere, and time with family. My parents were especially thrilled to pack up the car with a child's’ crap for the last time. It was also the last time they arrived to load the car with the contents of a dorm room and immediately realize that 90% of it wasn’t packed. Being a parent sounds like a never-ending joy.

Food-wise, it wasn’t great. I’m still not good at being out of my comfort zone, especially when surrounded by food that I did not make and can’t measure. This is probably part of why weekends are my worst times, though our Sunday gym sessions make a big difference.

My brother and his roommates cooked dinner for their families over the weekend. It was such a lovely gesture, and they ended up making enough to feed fifty because they were worried about not having enough for everyone. I had trouble stopping myself from picking at the huge plates of lovely food they created, especially since the meal was long. Then there was the ice cream meal at my brother’s favorite place, where I enjoyed a generous scoop of peanut butter cookie dough chip ice cream. (I think that one was worth it, actually.)

With the help of J, I tracked/estimated everything I’d had, and we took a couple of nice walks. That’s definitely an improvement from a couple of months ago.  I got right on track when back in New York, going to the gym four times (three in the morning), plus weighing and measuring food. So for that, I’m proud.

I stepped on the scale this week expecting the weekend to show itself in digital format, but was pleasantly surprised.

Measurements	4/23/2014	4/30/2014	5/7/2014	5/14/2014	5/21/2014
Weight	188.1	188.3	185.8	187.2	186.5
Pounds Fat	79.5	81.5	78.3	79.1	78.5
Pounds Muscle	67.4	68.4	67.4	68.6	67.1

Down slightly less than a pound from last week! Maybe those walks and good day paid off more than I thought and helped with the one or two bad ones. However, I was still kind of appalled at how I looked in the recent graduation photos - my face is still rounded and full like it was at my highest - I’m trying to use that as motivation. When I was just 15 pounds lighter, my face looked much better. 

#nomakeup

I want to get there again. I want to make long term, tangible progress. This is the point in the game where I’m young enough and overweight enough that I don’t have to be satisfied losing three pounds a month; I can healthily lose faster than that if I just stick to what I’m doing.

Have a great one!